I must be honest, I couldn't get past the more than half of the first chapter. The way you use the present tense, and how you don't really differentiate whose point of view you are writing from completely throws me off. When writing from a first person POV it's usually best to clearly state who it is speaking and maybe changing POVs less often. from the other comments though i can see that your story has obvious potential. and i hope that your popularity continues.
I have read this story before. I think on ff. I think the story was a bit different,nothing major ,just some insignificant parts that do not,from what I recall, add or detract from the story. I really enjoyed it when I read it before but I don't remember if I ever finished reading the whole thing. I remember her them killing boar youkai to protect edo after Sessh came from the well with Kagome & I think the attack was caused by that Saya youkai whose father brought her (after he'd brought his other daughters & been turned away) to Sessh's castle,dressed as a whore & in heat,while Kagome was there. I loved it when Sessh looked at her & was so openly disgusted & angered by her presence that the guards & everyone in the room thought he was going to kill her on the spot. After Sessh told her father never to try again & that he'd already found a Mate,she tried unsuccessfully to attack Kagome, which is punishable by death but Kagome (stupidly) asked for her life to be spared & Sessh did but banished her from the Western Lands. He should've had her killed for Kagome's safety since Kagome was unaware that Saya was unable to be grateful to have her life & swore vengeance on her instead.
I liked in this chapter 19 'Consent' where Inuyasha asks Sessh to protect Kagome ,claim her & give her the protection of his blood,so the curse will be weakened & she will have more powerful & stronger when she has to get her soul from Kikyo because Kagome is an untrained Miko & Kikyo was a fully trained Miko with alot of experience before her death & now she has become knowledgeable in curses, other Dark magic & has no problems with lying to, using,hurting or killing innocent beings,friends or anyone to do what she wants &/or get her way.
I'm looking forward to reading the complete story this time & seeing how it ends.
fluffyfriend23 (Chapter 66) - Sat 04 Dec 2010
you're fantastic!! i'd love to read your inuyasha/rin story. did you write it yet? if so where can i find it?? and this one was amazing i kinda wanna read your novel shen you publish it :) you're great
smcandy (Chapter 17) - Sun 28 Nov 2010
Again your talent in this fiction know no bounds very well done indeed. I look forward to reading more.
LOVED IT!! WAS AN AMAZINNGGGG STORY. Goodness, do I love Sesshoumaru. LOVE HIM!!
All I can say is............wow.ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ!!! I STARTED READING IT AT AROUND 9 PM AND FINISHED AT 7 AM THE NEXT MORNING!!!!! I JUST COULDN'T STOP. I LAUGHED, FELT THEIR JOY, THE HILARITY....ALL OF IT. THE HAPPINESS......JUST GENIUS. EXCELLENT WORK!! I HOPE THAT YOU ARE PROUD THAT YOU WROTE IT BECAUSE I WAS HONORED TO READ IT. ARIGATOU.
hey man that was good and that last part was funny keep it up
wickedone43 (Chapter 66) - Fri 29 Oct 2010
Very well done my dear! This fic was AWESOME! So, where is the sequel? I know it is an Inuyasha/Rin story, but where do I find it? Dokuga is site for only Sesshomaru and Kagome fics. Please let me know where I can read about Rin and Inuyasha. I've always liked that pairing but little is written about them in the fic sites I visit. My email is <43bags@sbcglobal.net>. Please let me know...PLEASE (puppy eyes, blinking excessively). :)
martha (Chapter 66) - Fri 29 Oct 2010
its soo sad its over but thank you very much for a great story.
sesshylove (Chapter 66) - Thu 28 Oct 2010
THIS WAS AN AWESOME STORY!♥ I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS OVER! I HOPE YOU MAKE MORE LIKETHIS ONE!! THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVIROITE STORIES!!!!! i wished it never end by i will keep re-reading it!
TKE (Chapter 66) - Thu 28 Oct 2010
I have loved this story from the beginning, sad to see it end but very happy with how it turned out!!! Great job!!
ruffin (Chapter 66) - Thu 28 Oct 2010
Really loved your story "Traveling with Sesshomaru" . Where will you be posting you Sequel with Rin/Inuyasha story?
*Stands and applauds* Great story!
martha (Chapter 65) - Tue 26 Oct 2010
it was beautiful and thanks for another chapter to come.
YEAH time for them to have children now
Mmm nice lemon indeed! Thank you ^__^ It was a lovely chapter. I'll be watching for the next and then end as well~
Good chapter, but I don't think we've seen the last of Akihanaga and Daimaru though. I had a feeling Inuyasha and Rin would end up being together. And I wonder if Akihanaga's guards will ever find out he's their father and what their reactions would be. I'm sure they're not mindless drones. And you said there's more? Cool, can't wait
Lol, kind of ironic that Sesshoumau said he thinks his time is more peaceful when he is from the "Warring States Era" with all that war, disease and famine. xD
YEEESSSSS One more lemon, please!!!! I'm such a GM~ lol.
Awesome story I love it!
Now I think you should put in a last lemon because every bride and groom need a honeymoon and this will be a perfect way for Kagome to teach Sess the tradition of the meaning of it. After Shirasagi ceremony of course.
Keep up the great work you are a very good writer and I would love to see more of your work in the near future soon.
Thank you your friend Bree.
Page 3 of 14
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |