"'As my mate, you must learn to respect my position. I will not have you questioning me in front of others…' Kagome stayed silent for awhile, as she went over the whole incident in her mind, then calmly she said, gently against his chest, 'I’m sorry, Sesshoumaru.'"
Ew, no.
There is so much head hopping it's hard to follow
Shouldn't inuyasha be taken away from kagome? Major plot drop.
Dryft (Chapter 66) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
Did they really only have one kid from what the detective had mentioned? one kid in 500 years? Rin and Inuyasha would be so cute and I gotta see if it was published!
Dryft (Chapter 60) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
I love the story so far but I will admit you throw one dilemna over the other on the pack without breathing room. They cannot take a step or a breath without having something to conquer. Defeating Naraku to Kagome dying to Midoriko confrontation all in 5 minutes is quite intense. Needs a bit of spacing out. Otherwise amazing story so far!
Dryft (Chapter 54) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
So.....Sesshomaru pours his heart out and appologizes and saves her and she barely does the same except submit? oof
Dryft (Chapter 53) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
Kagome never sees how much Sesshomaru sacrifices for her. She always sees herself the victim and needing to be better treated. I am fully on team Sesshomaru. His priorities were on the injured family members, why would he focus on a child who he believed would have common sense and stay within the village where its safe while he tends to the injured? Kagome your a dumb ass. You can't mate a youkai and expect him to always treat you exactly like a human from your own century....you are completely unrealistic.
Dryft (Chapter 51) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
ugh Inuyasha you asshole but at least you keep him true to his character!! Shesshomaru is different with his occasional swearing otherwise i quite enjoy him.
Dryft (Chapter 50) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
ohhh now I see why she couldnt do it!! I'm enjoying the story more and more as its become third person view
Dryft (Chapter 49) - Sat 31 Mar 2018
Is Kagome unable to use her powers at all? She can't raise a barrier around herself and her kids to keep Kouga away or even burn his skin with her reiki when he holds her against her will? No more self defense mechanism? Thats quite sad....
Dryft (Chapter 1) - Fri 30 Mar 2018
ooof the first person point of view of Sesshomaru and Kagome jumping back and forth gets quite confusing. I had to reread sections to make sure I had the right person's point of view since you hop between the two so quickly.
Interesting story so far though!
Bylee (Chapter 3) - Thu 20 Apr 2017
I know it's been a long time since you wrote this but here we go. The summary was intriguing and really made me hungry for it, I really like long stories, especially ones where Kagome is just DONE with Inuyasha's nonsense; but the grammar! The tenses! The rapid change of POVs ...Oh Lord! Ive just started reading this story and I would hate to stop because it sounds like it has some good stuff going on; but internally trying to fix grammatical errors and get the tenses straight and POVs in order makes reading the story harder than it should be.
Amber (Chapter 66) - Wed 11 Jan 2017
This is NOT a flame, these are my honest thoughts to try and help you out.
This story sounded very good right off the bat, however, I had to force myself to finish the story. The actual plot was fantastic, but please please please get a beta reader or something. There were too many grammatical errors to count, so please be mindful of what you write in your next fic. Bad grammar can make people quit the best of stories. These were also several expressions and turn of phrase that were worded incorrectly (now this may be because of different areas speak differently, if that's the case I am sorry for mentioning it). Another thing I noticed is you break the flow of the story to explain a translated word you used. While I think it's fantastic that you have done your research into these words, it's kinda off-putting to break the flow of the story to explain it (the bit with the well house is what comes to mind here). An author's note at either the beginning or the end of the chapter would fix this right up. I also noticed you use the word "suddenly" a lot. While that word is great at depicting the excitement or intensity of what is happening in a situation, readers do not enjoy continually reading the same word over and over. Words such as 'abruptly' and 'unexpectedly' are great substitutes for when you think you're overusing it (an example is at one point you used "suddenly" twice in one sentence). Just a quick Google Search for synonyms to particular words could great broaden your vocabulary and make your story that much more enjoyable. One last critique, is that while strife and conflict is very important to a story, it seemed you added far to much all at once. This may just be a personal preference, but they always had a full plate and then some!
Though overall, you wrote a great story and that's the most important part. Inspiration and creating the the plot and events is the hardest part, and you got that nailed.
Good story
This is a great story and so romantic, I unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view am a sucker for a good romance! Very good work.
J (Chapter 66) - Sat 30 Apr 2016
Amazing story thank you very much what is the title of your sequel i would very much like to read it. Why does Kagome and sesshomaru only have one child in 500 years I hope it's not tragic and that they do have more kids, looking forward to your sequel. J
This is one of the best stories that I have read so far! Keep up the good work!!!
This was simply amazing. Thank you for writing such a great story!
I like Hot Chocolate too! And this stoey :3
karen (Chapter 66) - Sun 10 Feb 2013
Hi, I loved the story; truly remarkable. You kept everyone in character and it never got dull or predictable. I would like to ask you for a copy of the hole story to save in my computer so i that i may be able to reread it at any time, even offline.
Thanks, and i am looking foward to new fics from you.
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