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Reviews for I am Alpha! by Hairann

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(Chapter 10) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Damn that was good... you created a solid foundation for any future romance between Sesshoumau and Kagome. Also like how things are turning around for Kikyou.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 9) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Love the slow building of feelings between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. The hot spring scene was awesome... ;)

I really like how you have used this story to allow them to 'notice' one another, especially Sesshoumaru being human has given him time to see Kagome in a whole new light.

 

Great work.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 8) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

First off love the "rough draft" remark... got to be one of the best and funnyest put downs I've heard. I like how it seems Kikyou is starting to get her act together, I do hope that it works out for her. You are making her character growth come across believable.

 

Like the Christmas scene, very touching.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 7) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Great chapter, I like how Sesshoumaru's curse acts, plus love both how you did the confrontation between the monks and the group and the talk Kagome had with Kikyou.

 

Forgot to add I really liked the idea about what part of the demon is in control... very nicely done.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 6) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Oh loved this chapter, again great work on the character development and I really like how you did the Halloween party.

 

 

Wispr


(Chapter 5) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

I like how you are writing Kagome being the Alpha female of the pack. Also nice how Inuyasha stood up for Kagome when he had his "talk" with Kikyou.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 4) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Another great chapter, really like the curse that got thrown on Sesshoumaru. Plus how you did his reasoning to go to the other group.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 3) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Another good chapter, the story is building very nicely and I like the pacing. Love the reactions Rin's question about Souta got. The battle scen was bloody well done and great work on how they finally defeated him.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 2) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Good chapter, really like how you had Kagome finally breakdown, very nicely done. Also like how you are doing Kagome's and Inuyasha's change in relationship... happy to see them has friends/family then making him evil or such.

 

Like the history of Kagome's father, a good touch and leaves somehting for the furture if you want.

 

Only thing I would like to see is something showing when you switch scenes and glad to see you are cutting back on the word definitions in the story itself, kind of broke the reading flow.

 

Wispr


(Chapter 1) - Sat 09 Jan 2010

Awesome start, I like how you describe the scenes and such. Love Kagome and Shippou's interactions... very nicely done. Nice touch with what happen with Kagome's mother and grandfather. Though I feel you had Kagome acting to relax about walking through the house, a little bit of nerves or queasy stomach would had made things more real.

 

Wispr


TruGemini (Chapter 10) - Mon 28 Dec 2009

Hairann, I never got to fully read this story until now and I must say this was great! The dynamics of a confident Kagome and less sure Sesshomaru due to circumstances was awesome. Great Job!


katara (Chapter 10) - Sat 07 Nov 2009

ummm........It was a very nice story...but, ah, what was the plot? Everything's open ended. No offence, but the ending really doesn't feel like an ending. We don't know what's happening with sesshoumaru, very little romance, feelings were like *bam!*, and when the climax has been reached (him becoming a demon again) none of the issues were resolved. We don't know if he's going to give kagome a go, it's not even implied beyond him returning to the pack. Inu and kikyou (....barely anything's changed, her atitude is a little better..) Sango and miroku were the only one's to consolidate their relationship. I just really feel there was no point to the story unless you wanted to show small changes in people's demeanor. This really shouldn't be under 'romance'. It was a nice read, and I enjoyed it, but I can't help but feel jipped at the ending.


Ameire (Chapter 8) - Sat 07 Nov 2009

Doesn't jaken get a gift? Or did I just miss him  by mistake?


Lauren (Chapter 1) - Sun 25 Oct 2009

One last thing! Please clearly mark the scene changes. An extra space between the two, or the customary ******, ///?//, xoxoxo could work, no?

~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl


Lauren (Chapter 1) - Sun 25 Oct 2009

This story sounds interesting. There's a lot you can/could have done with it. You have a pretty good starting point, plot wise. I hope it turns out good. There are a few issue though. The relationship between Inuyasha and Kagome is a bit strange - maybe because they (all the characters actually) are a bit out of character. For one, the basic fanfiction rule of making Inuyasha the bad guy by making him "go visit" Kikyo an unprecedented amount of times (when, in both the anime and manga, he'd actually only gone to see her once, while she'd only come to talk and/or kill Inuyasha two times totaling their private encounters to a whopping three) is a bit... well, annoying and unoriginal. It also makes Inuyasha seem like an idiot and a horrible friend. But Inuyasha is not nearly as lovingly gruff or uncommunicative and Kagome isn't as brazen. She's been annoyingly perky and happy-go-lucky in this chapter. Yes, Kagome's trying to prove that she's over Inuyasha and is ready to accept him as only her friend, but her emotions are a bit unrealistic. Especially those in dealing with her mother and grandfather's death. Though shock may and probably is the cause, it just makes this 'Kagome' you've painted seem more like an original character you've slapped Takahashi-sama's character's name on. *sigh* Maybe more of a look into "Kagome's" thoughts would help us/me? Miroku's also not a complete pervert. His ecchi-ness is a defense mechanism - much like Inuyasha's devil-may-care attitude - to battle the cloud of death that constantly hovers over his head. ...I'm not going to nit-pick about everyone, but I definitely think that all of the characters are a bit skewed and that a serious character revision is needed.

I hope that you don't continue to use first person perspective or the parenthesis to define the Japanese words that you're using. Maybe a glossary at the bottom of each or the needed chapter(s) would be better. It doesn't break the flow of the story the way parenthetical usage does. Along the same lines, in Japanese many words are the same in both singular and plural form. They don't tag on a consonant to pluralize words - not that letters exist in Japanese, but that's besides the point. So a priestess would be a 'miko' the same way forty priestesses would be 'forty miko'. Same with yokai, hanyou and ofuda.

I hope this story gets better as I go on. It has so much potential.

-- Oh! A "hentai" is a type of person or thing like literature, when someone performs a perverted action, it is "ecchi". --


~Animefreak242
aka
Kawaii Girl


Kitsune of Inari (Chapter 7) - Wed 18 Mar 2009

Love the fic! But I was confused with the Halloween scene... What was Kagome dressed as? I don't know maybe I just missed it.

Loves~

Kitsune of Inari


tragic_priestess (Chapter 6) - Sat 14 Mar 2009
I'm getting confused by the abrupt scene changes. I have to go back and find where the change happened. I think it would help if you but even a little something on a line seperating the seperate scenes. And isn't -chan the suffix for a female? Kagome calls Inuyasha anija-chan....and I thought it was supposed to be -kun.

Kari Konoko (Chapter 1) - Fri 26 Sep 2008
i love this story, it is absolutly amazing....and my 2nd time reading however, just to mention: the rosary works on the first order given, inuyasha would be sit, theoretically, the first to souta was climb on XD, what ever though i kinda like the way you did it too though hehe ^^

Akumi (Chapter 2) - Thu 25 Sep 2008
Omg. When I saw it said chapter one..I was like...NOOOO! I swear I read more than this! Hahaha. Girly, I am really loving this. It was well done and the characters and their relationships are amazingly fun to read! I love it! I just have two small things I noticed. One, how did Inuyasha hide his ears when he went to the high school, and how did he jump up into a tree with Kagome in his arms on his human night? XD Simple mistakes you can make while writing so much. :P Anyways, I am off to read more! I promised you a review every other chapter, so I shall be back!!! Love you girly!

Akumi (Chapter 4) - Thu 25 Sep 2008
WOOO! He;s human! Oh geeze. what will become of out little sesshy? :P Hhahaha. I'm still loving it girly! WOOO! Heehee. I can't wait to read more! You have a great way of leaving cliffies without making it seem like one. KICK BUM JOB!!!!!!

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