Okay so I need a beta for my story. I haven't posted it yet and i need someone to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it before i do post it.

Story:

“Here we go again” I mumbled to myself and sighed. “KANNA!!!! Get your Ass in here now!” Tears welled up in my eyes once I heard that voice. The voice of my supposed father. I wasn’t quick enough for him this time. He stormed out of his bedroom and dragged me down the hall by my hair. I knew once this was over I would have some major bruises. We reached my torture chamber as I liked to call it. He called it his bedroom. He lifted me up by the front of my shirt and glared at me. I closed my eyes trying to go to my happy place. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. He forcefully pushed me on his bed and locked my wrists to the headboard and grinned viciously at me and took off his shirt and stripped me of my clothes. I had lost the privilege of wearing my clothes ever since he first touched me. He stripped down so he was naked as well. He crawled on top of me and began kissing first my cheek and then he shoved his tongue in my mouth.
I didn’t respond and he got pissed off. “What the hell bitch? Why won’t you do anything?!? You never do anything right!!!!!” He raised his hand and backhanded me across the face. I showed no sign of pain and no sign of emotion. He unchained my wrists and turned me over on my stomach. He got his whip out. I knew this would be coming sooner or later. He whipped me not once but 20 times. I could feel the blood seeping out of my wounds. It felt to me like he was beating me for a lifetime but he finally turned me over and decided to rough it up. He shoved himself in me and for about 2 hours he had sex with me. He decided it was enough and dragged me to my room. I took a nice long hot shower and finally all my emotion came pouring out of me. I just cried until there was nothing left.
When I escaped my steaming hot shower trying to rid myself of all the pain and suffering I endured daily, I powered up my laptop and waited for it to start. I picked up my phone and called Kagura. “Kagura? Can you come get me? I’ve had enough of my father.” “Had enough? What do you mean Kanna?” “I’ll tell you later. Just please come rescue me. I’ll pack all my stuff.” “Okay Kanna. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” “Thanks Kagura.” She hung up her phone and shut down her laptop and put it in her carrying case. She got out her one suitcase and packed all her clothes in it. In another suitcase she packed her shoes and her other belongings. She shoved her phone in her pocket and dressed in a yellow sundress and pulled her long shiny black hair into a long braid with a red ribbon at the bottom. She applied some clear lip gloss and smiled to herself in the mirror. She was just happy she didn’t break down crying when she saw the bruises on her face and the scratches. She sighed and looked in his room. He was finally asleep. She opened the front door and walked out with her stuff.
She put it in Kaugura’s car and got in next to her in the passenger side. “Hey Kagura.” She smiled at her. She loves Kagura like a sister. “Kanna? What happened to you?” “Well remember a few years back? When my dad told you to stop calling me?” “Yeah, I remember.” “Well that’s the day he started abusing me. At first it wasn’t so bad, then he started not only Physically abusing me, but Sexually abusing me and Verbally abusing me too. He even made me dress up in this maid’s outfit that made me look like a slut. He did it for his own damn fantasies. Every time he looked at me, he looked at me like I was his whore. His little play toy. I hated it Kagura. I could never call you before and tell you. If I didn’t do anything right, he would beat me twice as hard.”
She finished her story and broke down crying. She sobbed until there was nothing left. “Kanna?” Kagura said. “You’re coming to live with me until you get your strength back and then you’re going to go back to him and do what you do best. Use your mirror and suck the soul out of him and get back at him for your 2 years of pain and suffering.” Kanna stared at Kagura with wide eyes. “No, I don’t think I can Kagura.” She looked down at the floor of thy car with tears still pouring down her face. Kagura had now pulled in her driveway. She sighed and just got out and walked over to Kanna’s side of the car. “Come on Kanna.” She pulled her up and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked up to her door and opened it letting her inside. She walked with her up to her room past Inuyasha, Rin, Sesshoumaru, Kagome, and Souta. She led Kanna to her bed and gently laid her down on the bed. “Just sleep Kanna. That’s what you need to do is sleep. We won’t bother you for a couple of hours, okay?”
Kanna just nodded her head and sighed and closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. Kagura walked down the steps her long shiny black hair swaying behind her as she walked. “Please be quiet, she’s had a rough time with her father. She’ll probably tell you the story if she wants to. It’s not my place to be telling you her story.” She smiled at them and walked into the kitchen and poured six cups of tea for everyone. She placed the mugs on a tray and carried them out to the sitting room. She set the tray on the coffee table. She sat next to Souta and drank her tea. She flicked on the television set and saw the news come on. She changed the channel to a cartoon and laughed at something. She took another sip of her tea and smiled at everyone. Souta crawled into her lap and she wrapped her arms around him. She sighed and he giggled like the little nine year old that he was. Kaugura smiled at him. Nine years old, sometimes know as the age of innocence.

Hey, girlie....I appreciate the fact that you're looking for a beta, and need help, but Dokuga is a Sesshoumaru/Kagome only site....whereas your story has the Naraku clan in the leads. Betas are pretty much in short supply here, and getting one for a Kanna tale will be all the more difficult for you, so I suggest you browse for a good beta on Fanfiction.net. The site has recently built a beta service, for all genres and characters, and it's pretty good, from what I've heard. Good luck!

Storming out of his bedroom, he grasped my hair, fingers digging into the roots. I could feel the scream of torement build within me, begging for realease, but I locked the cry away. The burning of strands being torn savagely from my scalp sprung tears to my eyes, yet I couldn't bring myself to cry. No, not for him. Not this time.

^^ I'm using this in a part of my story and the credit for this goes to Akumi.