Nah no big plans right now. I still have to work lol. I think I'm just going to continue doing things the way I've always done them for now. There's no point in changing something when you can't avoid the future. I'm just going to let it come to me. To quote on of my favorite lines from one of my favorite shows "I'm standing at the mouth of hell and it's going to swallow me whole...and it will choke on me." 10 imaginary points to whomever can guess where that's from lol. Thanks for reading my rant!

I don't think I can even imagine not being able to see. I'm so sorry. Your frustration is totally understandable.

but you could take this as a cue to travel and see as much as possible. Any plans?

Forgive me but I just need to vent my frustration a little bit. It's amazing how much we take for granted in life. From major things to minor things it happens everyday. For the past few months I've been having a significantly larger amount of migraines than normal. At first I didn't pay attention to it much since I've had migraines since I was 5. Normally I get between 5 and 8 a month but I started getting them almost everyday about 3 months ago. Okay no big deal there's a lot of stress going on at work and home and I just asked my doctor to up my medicine. Then after about a month I noticed that I was having a little trouble seeing things. Again, I've worn glasses since I was young so I just chalked it up to the fact that I'm over-tired and the headaches are draining me. Finally 2 weeks ago I couldn't take it anymore so I went to my doctor and explained about the daily headaches and my increasing difficulty with seeing. Of course an epic round of CAT scans, blood work, X-Rays, and every test under the sun was in store and I dealt with it because I wanted answers. Monday I went in for my results which to my utter surprise and delight revealed that everything in my head was fine.

My doctor then asked me when the last time I had an eye exam was. I had gone in February for a regular exam and a new pair of glasses. He suggested that I make an appointment to see my eye doctor just in case my eyes have changed. At first I was like "No way I can still see with my glasses on it's probably just me being tired." But I did it anyway. Well...I was wrong. The minute I took my glasses off and put my face into that little machine they use, you know the one where they make you read that card on the wall, I knew there was a problem. I could see virtually nothing. Even with my glasses on it was still difficult to make out everything. At this point I'm like "Well it's expected. I work at a bank and spend a lot of time on a computer I'll just change my prescription." Well, that's not going to be good enough apparently. After several moments of "You've got to be kidding?" and "Are you sure?" it would seem that I am in fact beginning to go blind. Eye problems are common in my family but I never expected things to be so bad at this point in my life, I'm only 35. My eye doctor did promise me that it wasn't going to happen overnight because at one point I was so worked up I was convinced that I was going to wake up the next day and not see anything. He did tell me though that most likeley before I am 50 I will have little to no vision left. When I started prompting him for a reason he didn't have one except to say that it does happen. It's not glaucoma or macular degeneration, my eyes are just, for lack of a better word, failing.

I find myself feeling shaken by this news. I've always accepted the fact that I will need some sort of corrective lenses for my life but now faced with the prospect of never seeing anything is scary. It's amazing how much we take eye sight for granted and assume that it's always going to be there in some form or another. I'm not going to let it control me because who knows what will happen in 15 years. There may be hope yet and I'm going to hold to that it's just right now I'm bothered by it. My husband and I have no children but it is something we were working towards and now I'm second guessing that. I don't know, but it feels weird to think that I could A. pass this on to my children and B. that I could potentially miss a lot of important things in my child's life. *Sigh* it's frustrating. Thanks for letting me vent I actually feel a little bit better now. I may be down but I'm sure as heck not going out without a fight!

That is hard, and I agree that there are a lot of things that we take for granted, and I think it is because we are always trying for more and forget to appreciate what we do have that others may not.

When I get depressed sometimes, I often go through what I do have. I tell myself I have no reason to be depressed, for there are others out there that don't have what I may have. Not big things, but everyday things. Such as sight, hearing, being able to walk, get out of bed, having food in my fridge, a bed to sleep in, a house to stay in.

I had a friend, back when I was ten, that lost his eyesight when he was six years old. He just woke up one day and could not see anything. I asked him how he had been able to adjust to it, and he said 'what else could I do? The doctors had no clue what caused me to lose my sight, and they said it may even come back on day. I could get mad or angry about it, but it would do me no good, so I just learned to live with it'.

That is hard news to get, and I often think about what it would be like if I just lost my eye sight one day, because most of what I do involves my sight. So it would be very hard. For now though, do little exercises that will help you when you do lose your sight. Sound exercises and try and memorize your house with your eyes closed. That way, when and if it does happen, you won't be totally lost. As for the child thing, if you and your husband do still want children, you can always adopt. While most couples do want children of their own blood, adopting a child(or even an older one) would probably be the better answer for your situation.

You seem like a very strong person, so I'm sure you will adjust to this change of your life as well as one could. Keep your head up.

Well that Quotes gotta be a Buffy Quote! It just sounds like it. I have the series on DVD, and I'm going to sit back a watch it all in honor of you!

Now on to the topic at hand. First of all I'd like to thank you for sharing. I understand that ones health, family background, and hope for children, is a very personal issue. By sharing it I hope is therapudic, and hopefully us Dokuga crew can be a support system for you.


First let me assure you that the field of Opthamology is advancing by leaps and bounds. In 15 years, there may not even be any issue to worry about because they will be able to fix you right up. Meanwhile there are preventative measures you can take, some as simple as remembering your sunglasses! Be your own advocate and do lots and lots of research, and ask questions no matter how common or mundaine they may seem to you.

And before I can get to the second part, I'd like to share a piece of my own story, which has been both a painful and scarey Journey. My situation is rather similure to yours. 4 years ago at the age of 22 I started having massive ear aches, difficulty balancing, and diffuculty hearing. I grew up with tinnitus, which is ringing in the ears, a condition that you can both get from damage to the ears or genetically. (Ever leave a loud concert and have that ringing in your ears for a few hours? Its like that only the ringing is louder and 24/7. Its been suggested that Van Gough had tinnitus which is why he cut off his ear - to show a physical representation of his suffering. Hemmingway was also reported to having it, which is why he said she was often in such a foul mood) Anyways after thousands of dolloars of tests, a specialist finally told me that at the ripe age of 22, I was going deaf and it was irreversable. My first thought was about the kids I wanted to have... would I ever be able to hear them laugh? hear them call me mommy? hear them tell me they love me? and did i want to bring kids into the wrold that may have to suffer the same condition? my heart broke. In an instant i felt the entire life i had been trying to build for myself, crumble around me.

Four years later and I'm still loosing my hearing. I've been learning ASL and trying to get myself prepaired for the day when I'll no longer be able to hear. But after 4 years, I'm okay with it. I'm saying a big F-you to the universe and being determined to live the life I wanted for myself - I'm just going about it differently. I have one daughter who is almost two and a half and a son on the way. We are prepaired and armed with how we will raise them should hearing loss be an issue - and they will see their mother living life full and in bliss, with INDIFFERENCE to her lack of hearing. It wont be a handicapt to my children, should they inheret this, it will simply be their way of life.

First let me say to NOT give up on the hope of having children. If its something you guys really want, then you shouldn't be deprived of that joy. There is nothing in the world like it. However, i respect your desire not to want to pass on such a condition, but you can adopt too, if you arn't opposed to it (as the child of an adoptee, i'm very proadoption!) My wonderful husband had hangups about adoption, wanting to pass on his own genes, which is why we didn't opt for that choice. Now that we've had our own kids, he realizes that he would have been just as in love with a child we adopted, but he didn't know that then, and I wanted to respect that and not push an issue that I had no right pushing. That may be the situation for you or your hubs, in your case and that isn't something to be ashaimed of, in fact its perfectly normal and biologically healthy. (The instinct of genetic survival is a strong one)

Anyways, dont let this change anything for you, other than perhaps getting yourself ready, should worst come to worst.

Again thank you for sharing your story. Its important that there are people willing to share these things to remind us to be thankful for our blessings. It was brave of you to share, and you inspired me to share my story too, which I hope makes you feel less alone.

Hey with your ears and my eyes we have all of our 5 senses!

10 imaginary points to Moxy! You're right it was from Buffy lol. I just want to say a big thank you to Moxy, Khayos, and PRVN for the thoughtful words and for also sharing your own experiences. I'm trying really hard not to let it get me down. It's just kind of weird now. Now that I have the correct prescription glasses on(Well for the moment anyways) I am utterly amazed that I could see at all with the other ones. I guess they just helped enough to get me by and I ignored it because I thought it was linked to my headaches. I never NOT have them on from the moment I wake up till I go to bed they're plastered to my face and just for the heck of it while I was laying on the couch with my hubby today I took them off. Boy was I surprised just how blury everything was. That was kind of a surreal moment for me. One of those "yeah this is really happening" moments, but I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm going to hold out some hope that in the next few years advancements are going to be made that can help me. As far as us having kids, well we had a good long talk about it and we made the decision to not give up on that. We both want kids. Adoption is an option but we're going to keep trying for one of our own. For now I'm going to just live my life, continue working and deal with the little things that come our way. So big hugs to you all and thanks for the support!! I was really down about it this morning but now my spirits have been lifted!!!