My Own by Tesmoname

Chapter One

My Own

by: Concrete Tenshi

-

Begin to be aware

that he needs to focus

beyond that thing

to live beyond the pain-

She tell him she is sorry

and politely refuse--

but she's just too weak

to move.

-

He found it strangely compelling. The multifaceted jewels of the world had never intrigued him as much, or as completely as this woman before him, and he found it strange that this was how it was.

He had never been one to attach himself to anything, never getting close enough to be possessive, never getting close enough to care.

But now, as he stared at the broken body of the girl--a woman actually--who had captured his hidden love, all that he could think about was how different she looked. There was no color in her cheeks, no sparkle in her eyes.

But Sesshomaru did not dwell on these distractions for long. He was all to well acquainted with death and what it brought to its' dead hosts, so why did he find it disturbing that such signs were present on her face? He had been rolling the question around in his mind for at least an hour, not letting his conscience realize he was avoiding the real dilemma.

Rin was dead.

Imediatelly his mind slid over that humanly mundane fact, not carring to analyze why he did so. Besides, he much rather like the warmth that was flooding through his veins. The heat that pulsed through his very being and brought a mist of blood into his eyes. Yes, he enjoyed this pleasant nirvana that only rage could bring.

Normally he would never allow himself to be controlled by such emotions. It had been below him to allow his feral youkai to dominate his thoughts and senses.

But then again, he had always been able to bring her back at a whim. With the most nonchalant flick of his ivory wrists, death would be spared of her. Yet now that that particular power had slipped between his fingers, and he was more than willing to try something else for a change.

A small voice in the back of his mind, a whisper that he had tried to rid himself of many times, murmured to him. This Sesshomaru should not have bothered with a human child. And a part of him conceded to that blatant truth. Perhaps that had been his mistake. Letting some child be in such close proximity to his person must have had a worse effect on him than he had predicted. There was no other explanation for his unusual reaction to the most mundane of human pastimes. She must have affected him- must have in order to cause this void that gapped inside of him.

Sesshomaru's golden eyes widened as his mind violently realed away from that particular self assessment. That wasn't what he needed to be doing right now, instead he should be hunting down the fool who had wounded his pride by killing his ward-for touching what had belonged to him; he should be hunting Inuyasha; learning more about his father... The inuyoukai should be doing anything but sit here in the cold and damp leaves, a dead girl's head in his lap.

It was after all, staining his snow-white hakama.

With a strange floating detachment Sesshomaru unfolded to his full height, the entire movement elegant and fluid. And for just for a moment, Sesshomaru allowed himself to reveal in the one fact he allowed himself to be most proud of; his body was something that he had complete control over. It took no thoughts, no emotions to disembowel a youkai, much less a human. For the muscles in his arms and legs obeyed his slightest fancy, rippling and sliding over one another as it pleased him.

There was only one time that this fact had been proven untrue. And he would not bother to think upon that moment, his pride would not swallow it. So instead Sesshomaru turned his gaze towards the body at his feet.

It was then that he realized another one of those moments had occurred. The moments when his body moved of its own accord, not bothering to bend to his iron will. And this time the reason for such disobedience was now evading him. No, there was no jewel infested arm controlling his body, and there was no spell upon his person... Instead he found that his body would not move from the spot. He stood rooted, transfixed was his gaze upon the girl who had followed him loyally for a decade.

For a second he berated himself for not having complete control, another thing that he had prided himself on for so long. And this was why he found her pale, lifeless corpse so interesting. How was it possible? That even in death she had some grip on him--as if her small hands were still fisted in the cloth that covered his legs.

'Her eyes starred up at him in adoration. "Sesshomaru-sama, don't forget about me okay?"'

It seemed that he would be doomed to not forget.

-

Her throat had gone traitorously dry, and her eyes began to itch and water from the strain of keeping them open. It seemed as if they were scolding her for her stupidity-after all, what would it matter if she closed her eyes for just a second? It was not as if the darkness that arrived from lowered lids would be, or could be, any worse than the outline of the creature that was effectively blocking out her view of the sunlight.

"Well, damn." She squeaked humorlessly to herself as her fingers realized that she had fired off the last of her hamaya. What was worse, she had fired them off at the latest incarnation of Naraku... But how was she to know that the opponent who she and her friends now faced, would have shown up when he did? None could blame her for her lack of foresight, they all knew that Kagome Higurashi was many things. But a seer she was not.

It took a moment for her brain to register the fact that she was standing in the path of Destruction, before Kagome began to sprint towards Inuyasha, who was laboriously wielding the Tetsusaiga in attempt to fend off his half brother from destroying the village they had been boarding in.

"Damn you Sesshomaru!" The inu-hanyou snarled before unfurling the Wind Scar upon the fully-transformed image of his taiyoukai brother.

The maddened demon merely leapt out of harms way, howling with glee and the attack fell upon a corner of the very village he had intended to protect.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku yelled from his position besides the armored Sango, "You must not use the Wind Scar-

"Or the Backlash Wave!" Shippou added.

"Or Blades of Bloood!" Sango yelled.

The monk glared at the two members of his team from under his bangs before clearing his throat and continuing, "Ar-ghum, yes Inuyasha! Do not use such attacks! We are in the middle of the village and we must keep the damage to a minimu-

"You don't expect me to let this bastard kill me do you?" Inuyasha yelled as he switched his stance to that of one on the defensive. "Because there is no way in HELL that I am going to let this spoiled little puppy walk all over me!" His eyebrows furrowed in annoyance though, as he realized that he could not use his large scale attacks, the effect would be devastating to the humans who had kindly let them stay the night.

Inuyasha growled angrily, 'I really am becoming a softy.'

But that was only regarding as to how he was going to attack Sesshomaru. He had no intentions of allowing the bastard to make a fool of him! The hanyou was steeled and focused, he would fight Sesshomaru-he had beet him once before hadn't he? The thought was quickly followed with a wave of self-assurance, with this in mind nothing would make him falter in his attack..

Except one thing was bothering him.

Or rather-something was bothering Kagome. Inuyasha cold practically taste the waves of unease she gave off from behind him, it disconcerted him and wounded his pride. Was she worried that he could not protect her? Was she afraid of what Sesshomaru would do if left unchecked?

The said taiyoukai was roaring fit to wake the dead, and his eyes bled crimson from above a twisted face, contorted from the effect of a savage snarl.

Inuyasha recognized the fact that the Bloodlust was upon his brother, and wondered briefly what could have set him into such a rage. But in the end it would not matter... ' The moron, who does he think he is-

All semblence of thought was swiftley snatched away from Inuyasha as his eyes caught the sight of Kagome stepping towards the enraged taiyoukai, her stride hesitant but determined.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing!" Inuyasha yelled, his eyes wide and fearful-his heart suddenly cold as icy fingers laced themself inside of his chest and inards. "Get back here NOW!" He was screaming now, as well as running towards her. But by now the seemingly entranced miko girl was almost directly beneath the massive form of Sesshomaru.

Ever since she had realized who it was she and her friends were fighting, Kagome had felt uncertainty pull at her chest. The mad, destructive, and reckless was not the Sesshomaru that the world had come to respect and fear. No-Kagome knew that this was the taiyoukai and his worst-uncontrolled, and unbridled.

She knew that something was wrong.

And now, as she stared up into his demon crimson eyes, Kagome could only wonder what could evoke such a reaction from the stoic and impersonnal prince.

Saliva fell from the maw of the Western Lord.

Tears fell from the eyes of the time traveling school girl.

'What happened?' She screamed to herself as her heart yearned to reach up and dust away the sorrow that so clouded his actions.

'What has been done to y-

It was then that her eyes alit with both revelation and horror, and that Inuyasha yanked her roughly away from the rapidly decending jaws.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid girl! Have you NO sense of self preservation? Do you have a DEATH wish? What the hell Kagome? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

But she most certainly was not. Instead her azure eyes were following the path of destruction that belied the direction from which he had come. Broken and shattered trees, dead or dying carcasses of men and beast, trenches within the earth dug from his curved claws-all of which screamed to her of anger and frustrated sorrow.

As this dawned upon her, determination set a steely glint within her eyes. Still, she licked her lips nervously before calling for the transformed neko youkai, Kirara. "Hurry!" She shouted as she ran towards the forest.

Dimly she could hear Inuyasha yelling after her, but there was something importent lurking in the depths of those trees, and it could help stop the raging of Sesshomaru.

Kagome ignored the hanyou.

By the time Kirara caught up with her, she was nearly at the tree line. With the ease of expieriance, Kagome gripped the tuff of the neko's fur, before using her momentum to pull herself efortlessly onto Kirara's back. And the second she was settled, the demon beneath her lurched into the sky-following the serpent like trail Sesshomaru had left behind him. "Look out for anything... Out of the ordinary." Kagome finished off somewhat lamely, not sure of what she was looking for.

But she prayed silently that she would find it soon, becuase she was not sure what Inuyasha would do to his half brother. And Kagome was not sure what even had warranted such a response from the taiyoukai... One thing she was sure of however, was that when Sesshomaru regained control-he was going to be royaly pissed.

Kagome grinned slightly as turned her attention to a vaguely dog-shaped clearing, and then her smile died away like an ash upon the sea.

"Oh Gods no."

-

'Tear!' Jaws snapped maniacly.

'Shred!' Talon like claws ripped through the fleshy matierial with a satisfying scream to signify death.

'Destroy!' Now the appendages worked together in a primitave sort of dance. His large teeth would tear into whomever, or whatever lay in his sight, and his gigantic paws deflected those who would stop him.

'Puny creatures.' The bloodbeast cied as he leapt to and fro nimbly, even upon three legs. 'Worthless morsels.'

And he continued on with this at greath length, and still-he never seemed to be satisfied.

'More blood,' his more primitive side reasoned, already feeling the seemingly insaitable craving for life, and inadvertantly death-at his dealing.

Yet Sesshomaru was beginning to understand what was happening, and slowly started to re-assurt control over his lust-driven body and spirit.

'No.' Was his response to the wail of his spirit and the lust for blood, vengence.

Vengence?

The word tumbled about his mind for what seemed to be an eternity. Sesshomaru felt almost unable to think, it was as is head was filled with pressure, heat, and cotton. Every tangible thought was weathered and muffled, as if a blanket lay over unseemely tones.

He almost did not wish to push himself any furthur-after all, an answer to his current predicament would not be nearly as rewarding as ripping, and tearing, and slashing through a few more humans.

'Unnaceptable.' He growled to himself, his control once more establishing himself. Until slowley, but surely he began to revert to his huminoid form, it was during this transformation that Sesshomaru became aware of their pressence.

'Inuyasha.'

"What do you think you are doing Sesshomaru?!" The hanyou called out angrily from behind the large frame of Tetsusaiga, his molty golden eyes darkened to an almost sepia amber. "Hurry up, I dont have time to waste on you anymore! "

"Ever impatient, Inuyasha." The taiyoukai reigned in his thoughts enough to confront this newest annoyance. "Do no assume that I would wish any of your 'time' upon my person. From what I have gathered, for your young years, you have spent them rather unwisely." His tone was scalding, yet smooth, cultured and icy. Sesshomaru had better things to do, and things not to think about-it was time to be leaving.

So he turned away from his sputtering and enraged sibling to confron the effects of his own loss of control.

'Rin.'

A frown snaked its way upon his lips, and his face darkened ominously.

Now he remembered.

And just as suddenly, he thought perhaps squablling with his brother was the most productive thing he could do tonight. Golden eyes alighted upon amber and locked.

Sesshomaru did a mental tally of the group that stood behind his brother, and noted that they were short a miko. When he said as much aloud Inuyasha glared harder than ever. "No we did not!" He said angrily while frantically searching for some answer to his probing. "K-kagome was just useless. We have a more effective miko hunting shards of the Sacred Jewel right now!" There, that was smart! Let that arrogant jackass think that Kagome had been done away with-it was better for her safety if he thought her worthless.

But what shocked everyone was the truth in his voice when he spoke of Kikyo. A while back they had come to the conclusion that Inuyasha continued to see the undead priestess-albiet in congnito. It was at that time that Kagome seemed to also have fully come into herself. Miroku had noticed it once before complimenting her rear with his hand, "My Kagome, there is something different about you. Care to shed some light on this pois man? Perhaps you have come to reconsider your position on my earlier request? I am sure you will bear me strong children!"

Kagome had laughed (and smacked him) before saying with a smile, a slightly sad smile, "I know where I am now in life." That was all she said before leaving him to nurse his swollen cheek.

He had hypothisized that she was able to cope with her love for Inuyasha. And that he too had decided where his obligations lay...

His obligations-not his heart.

Inuyasha could not say it alloud, but he loved Kagome-more than he could love any other thing in the world. It was unbelievable how much his heart ached for her own when she was near him. And it was just as unbelievable that he had decided to throw that away for duty.

In many ways that had been the killing blow for the future miko-after all, how could he just disregard her affections like that? And in many other ways it was a blessing-he had finaly let her go, knowing that theirs was a love that would have to die out for the best. And in that she was grateful, for Inuyasha had delivered the stroke mercifully, and had not been so harsh as to continue running off to trapse with the soul snatching priestess. He showed her how much he respected her by not throwing any snide remarks at her when they had last incountered Kouga.

That had been the neon sign reading, 'Your Free'. It had seemed so very ironic for Kagome had always thought that it would have to be her to set the other free. She had always imagined walking upon the two in an inimate embrace, and then smiling serenely before walking away quietly.... The ultimate dismissal to her heart. A heart that was now free from the pains of a first love.

Still, it came as a shock to hear the words, the lie, fall so easily from their leaders mouth. Sango instinctively fisted the handle of Hirakotsu, her muscles jumping reflexivly, ready to strike down the untruthfulness of his words.

But Miroku laid a hand upon her armored shoulder, and so she stood still.

Sesshomaru eyed his brother for a moment, not really listening to what was being said around him. "So you disgarded her?"

Inuyasha nodded. "She was worthless."

Sango and Shippou flinched.

Miroku's eyes widened abrubtly.

"Is that so Inuyasha?" The arrogant taiyoukai asked.

"Yes."

"Kagome?"

The hanyou glared back at the monk, "Yeah, we are talking about Kagome you moron!"

But the purple clad budhist merely opened and closed his mouth as he shook his head and pointed to a spot beyond Sesshomaru.

The Western Lord raised one eyebrow quizically before using his jyaki to search the surrounding area-he was not so foolish as to turn his back to an enemy.

He was not prepared, however, for the warm powers of purification that emited from the edge of the forest.

Curiously he turned around-only to freeze in confusion.

There stood Kagome, her eyes bright with unshed tears, her blue aura spiking all around her.

And there, clasped within her hand was that of a human child...

"Sesshomaru-sama!" The child smiled up at him, her missing tooh gaping comicaly, as her stained orange kimono swished around her. "Rin knew you would not forget her!"

-

He sets the pace again

and she seems not to mind

though she looses drive

and he looses life-

their lips are seared and sealed

from the anger and sorrow they have yet-

to acknowledge and

reveal ...

-

Next chapter....

"How?"

His gaze pierced hers and she suddenely felt guilty for saving...

"Why cant you be grateful?"

"Leave him alone Inuyasha!"

"Bastard will kill us all!".....

-

What do you think? Well , till next time then!