Random Fanart
Hold Me Now
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The drabble this piece is paired with, titled Prompt: '...hold me now...these tired wings are falling...', and the frozen second in time this represents, was created to express several dark and wholly complex emotions associated with the crippling mental illness of Depression. However, I want to make clear that it is not my intent to portray any romanticism of depression and suicide.
A summary of the meaning behind these two pieces, sorry if it's long, i cut it down a lot actually:
For me, the song used as inspiration for these two works epitomized a familiar cry. A battle cry, a broken cry, an expression of meeting the depths and searching for relief. While in actuality there is a tone of hope in the song, I chose to use it to show how one tries to trick themselves into believing all will be fine, when in fact it merely masks the despair within.
This is a small moment to a long story of pain; Kagome’s pain. She learned early on that trusting, that caring for anyone only meant suffering; and the closer they were, the deeper the wound, the sharper the pain, and the harsher the scar. A scar that lingered with a deceptively thin layer, ready to be torn and ripped open in an instant. To live this way for years, to have a seed of rot allowed to grow and spread, infesting every part of you and tainting whatever and whomever you touched, would always leave any relationship doomed and fraught with turmoil. That is how she existed, that is what she brought into her connection with Sesshoumaru.
When she realized she loved him, she knew that it would only mean heartache. She had let it go too far, she had let her guard down, and it had to end. This is the memory that torments her most, when she broke contact with him, seemingly severing the bond that was going to break and destroy her without realizing she was creating her own demise. Then hearing of his death, knowing she wasn’t there, she couldn’t apologize, tell him she lied…
There are always those indestructible straws, the ones that embody everything, the ones that break the back of our resolve in finality, letting all collapse into ruin no matter what we do. This was her straw. She had nothing and no one, and the being she cared for, one which deserved to be let in, she lost in more ways than one and the torment was devastatingly unbearable.
She isn’t killing herself because of him, not that he wasn’t a part of her sadness. Her standing there, remembering her last defeat and failure, remembering that straw, she asking for help from that someone who truly cared for once. In this one example she is expressing her sorrow, every regret, as single prayer to be saved because she could not save herself. A suicide note written in her thoughts. Saying goodbye to it all, laced indelibly with her sincere apology, hoping it will somehow be accepted.
if you can't tell, this drawing and the drabble paired with it have a particular meaning for me that resonates close to home. I felt it deserved the explanation, especially considering the dark themes.
C:
A summary of the meaning behind these two pieces, sorry if it's long, i cut it down a lot actually:
For me, the song used as inspiration for these two works epitomized a familiar cry. A battle cry, a broken cry, an expression of meeting the depths and searching for relief. While in actuality there is a tone of hope in the song, I chose to use it to show how one tries to trick themselves into believing all will be fine, when in fact it merely masks the despair within.
This is a small moment to a long story of pain; Kagome’s pain. She learned early on that trusting, that caring for anyone only meant suffering; and the closer they were, the deeper the wound, the sharper the pain, and the harsher the scar. A scar that lingered with a deceptively thin layer, ready to be torn and ripped open in an instant. To live this way for years, to have a seed of rot allowed to grow and spread, infesting every part of you and tainting whatever and whomever you touched, would always leave any relationship doomed and fraught with turmoil. That is how she existed, that is what she brought into her connection with Sesshoumaru.
When she realized she loved him, she knew that it would only mean heartache. She had let it go too far, she had let her guard down, and it had to end. This is the memory that torments her most, when she broke contact with him, seemingly severing the bond that was going to break and destroy her without realizing she was creating her own demise. Then hearing of his death, knowing she wasn’t there, she couldn’t apologize, tell him she lied…
There are always those indestructible straws, the ones that embody everything, the ones that break the back of our resolve in finality, letting all collapse into ruin no matter what we do. This was her straw. She had nothing and no one, and the being she cared for, one which deserved to be let in, she lost in more ways than one and the torment was devastatingly unbearable.
She isn’t killing herself because of him, not that he wasn’t a part of her sadness. Her standing there, remembering her last defeat and failure, remembering that straw, she asking for help from that someone who truly cared for once. In this one example she is expressing her sorrow, every regret, as single prayer to be saved because she could not save herself. A suicide note written in her thoughts. Saying goodbye to it all, laced indelibly with her sincere apology, hoping it will somehow be accepted.
if you can't tell, this drawing and the drabble paired with it have a particular meaning for me that resonates close to home. I felt it deserved the explanation, especially considering the dark themes.
C:
Date:
07.01.2014 05:22:19
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