The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz Media. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
It's amazing how oblivious you are to your own weaknesses until you're at the point of death. As the blood drains away from your system, leaving you with a deadly emptiness, you realize how fragile life is. Before, I hadn't been afraid of death. It was just a constant happening around me, as I killed enemies without a second thought beside my friends. Most of us had stared death in the face, most of us had death as a shadow looming over us. But never before had I ever thought it would really happen to me. Someone would always be there to save me, to love me, and to protect me. And as I stumble thought the winters snow I finally realized how unstable a system like that is. To depend on another to live, to sit back as someone tries to hurt her, quietly screaming for her savior to rescue her. Really, it's quite stupid. If you can't stand up for yourself, how can you live? All you'll ever be is a burden. A whining, screaming, annoying burden.
I'm a fool. The irony is that only now, as I try to grasp onto life that's slipping through my fingers like water, that I have this stroke of wisdom. Only when the information is useless to me do I obtain it. Maybe... Maybe things could have been different if I'd known of my stupidity before.
I stumbled as my vision blurred further, tripping over a tree root hidden beneath the blood stained snow. Before I realized it I was face down on the ground, freezing in the cold, my whole body aching with pain. Why I continued to run wasn't quite clear, since it was inevitable that I die. My stomach bled with a deep wound, as did the cuts found everywhere on my body, the bruises slowly becoming much less distinct as the blood that gave them color drained away. Yes, we'd been attacked. And all the confidence that we'd had meant nothing in the end, when he had won and they had all...
Memories of the past hours came crashing back, and with the last of my energy I tried to shake them away. I was going to die here, lying in the cold snow, putting all their sacrifices to waste. If I had the chance or the opportunity to keep on going, I would. But death was inevitable. There wasn't anything I could do about it at this point, there wasn't any miracle cure for the wound that would be my end. I wanted to live on, to avenge them, but I couldn't. I just wasn't strong enough.
And then there was the grasping feeling of the cold that didn't come from the snow, a sudden numbing of my pain that came with an emptiness I had never experienced in my life. I knew the next breath I took would be my last and the next time I closed my eyes the wouldn't be able to open again. I knew... that I was going to die. And there wouldn't be any return this time.
He'd sacrificed himself so that I might live. And now it seemed his sacrifice would be useless. In his last actions, I had failed him.
"Forgive me..." my voice was weak as I uttered the words I knew were my very last, "...InuYasha."
And then darkness descended.
---
It was a war in itself as the young child lurked behind the trees, spotting out her prey as cold hands clutched the balled snow. And the small green toad only stood feet in front of her, oblivious as he searched for her, his croaking voice reprimanding her from afar. She just stifled her giggles behind her free hand, silently creeping over to put him in range of her weapon. And second later her laughter could no longer be held back as she chucked the harmless ball of snow at the back of the toad's head, the force sending the creature sprawling face first into the snow upon impact. Rin laughed as he gathered himself up to his feet, the old demon's face turning the strangest red-green color in anger, the sight only making her laugh harder as she managed to pack up another snow ball. And just as the withered and wrinkled being caught sight of her and opened his disgusting beak to yell at her, she tossed another ball of snow directly into his mouth, causing the toad to fall over on his back once again. Rin folded over in fits of laughter then, landing but first in the snow as she clutched at her side. Unknown to her, Jaken had pulled himself up to his feet and had packed his own snowball, mumbling under his breath as he aimed it her way. But the small toad had only been good at a few rare things in his life, and unfortunately for him, aim was not one of those things.
So, instead of hitting the girl, when the snowball was thrown her way it soared way over her head with a speed no one had expected him to achieve, the cold ball of white snow ran in a crash course towards a silent lord leaning up against a nearby tree. Without opening his eyes he caught the snowball in a graceful hand, motionless for the longest moment of Jaken's pathetic life. And after the suspenseful moment even Rin quieted for, Sesshomaru opened a single eye to meet gaze with a frightened Jaken, the golden depths unreadable.
Milliseconds later Jaken found himself with a throbbing headache, once again buried in the softness of the snow, suffering from a headache that was painful enough to be caused by something much harder than a snowball. Rin was laughing again and Sesshomaru was silent as he always was, his eyes once again closed as his ward lurked around in the snow. Mischievousness was like a disease that quickly spread through her body, her courage rising and her smile widening as she packed another snowball. So, she took her chance. With a tightly packed snowball and a nervous, mischievous glint, she threw the snowball at her lord, going quietly still as it soared his way. And, just like before, he caught it, staying silent for a moment. When he opened his eyes he stared at the snowball in his hands, tossing it up in the air carelessly only to catch it again.
Rin might have caught sight of the smallest smile on his face before she fell to the ground, clumps of snow falling out of her raven black hair.
"We shall leave." it was a direct command that quieted her laughter as her Lord walked away, causing her to chase after him.
And she just smiled as her fun was put to an end, her eyes looking up at the delicate snowflakes that fell from the Sengoku Judai sky.