Disclaimer: Inuyasha and its characters are the sole property of Rumiko Takahashi. I make no profit from this story.
The final battle with Naraku had come and gone and the things that had changed were breaking down his already fragile mind. After all, who would have thought he would be sitting in a human inn drinking sake with his one-time lecherous friend Miroku, which was a novelty. He had to wonder why the monk had even agreed to come drinking with him after all he had his betrothed Sango to worry about and her anger when incensed was almost as fiery as Kagome’s.
Truth told he knew why Miroku had tagged along and he had almost been betting on it when he went to visit the monk and his woman in the old demon slayer village. When he had went outside to await the monk’s decision he had heard Sango expressing her concern for himself. He had heard the worry in her voice as his sharp ears picked up her voice and he had even caught a whiff of her fear on the slight breeze that wafted through the hut towards him. He growled softly as the memory of the pity in her voice. That was the last thing he wanted from anyone much less his friends.
After all he had never felt pity from the two important people in his life. Kikyo, his former love, well love was not exactly an accurate description. He knew now that he had never really loved her and she had never really loved him. Convenience was what their relationship was based on, they were together to protect the jewel for selfish reasons. Kikyo’s wish was to be a normal human woman and him; well he wished to become a full demon like his older brother Sesshomaru. It was obvious even to a half breed like him that he would never be free of the challengers unless he was a true demon. No demon could stand the fact that a half breed had the audacity to exist in their world. He had always thought he loved Kikyo and had even promised to follow her into hell when she had been resurrected but then he had caught her trying to steal Kagome’s soul. It was from then after that he noticed how cold her skin was where she would touch him, how lifeless her eyes really were. Then it became obvious how the stench of grave soil and death clung to her petite frame. He realized after that he would never be able to go through with his promise. He couldn’t go to hell with Kikyo especially since now his life revolved around protecting Kagome. You may ask yourself why I kept going to Kikyo whenever she was close. Well, I had to I feared that if I didn’t then she would try to steal Kagome’s soul and even go so far as to kill her.
Then there was the second woman in his life that he loved, Kikyo’s reincarnation, Kagome. What had happened to Kagome you may ask? Well I’m sure everyone’s already heart that story by now. I lost her because of my own stupidity. I believed she would hold on to her love for me until I could put Kikyo’s soul to rest once more, with that thought he downed his sixth cup of sake. He loved Kagome far more than he had ever loved Kikyo herself. However he had been too stupid to realize it and had lost her love and her presence in his life. He shouted at the girl for another cup of sake as the memory of her departure came once more to him.
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Naraku’s miasma carpeted the plateau as he and his elder brother Sesshomaru battled against the evil hanyou’s tentacles with Kagome at his side, although at the moment he had no time to consider that development... Sango and her boomerang were busy destroying Naraku’s poisonous insects so that Miroku could draw in the legions of demons that Naraku was unleashing upon them. Shippo, the little kitsune had been convinced to stay behind with his brother’s ward and watched over by Jaken. He didn’t trust his brother’s retainer but neither did he want to put his youngest companion in any danger that would have upset Kagome and him as well though he was reluctant to admit it.
As for Kikyo, she had been torn apart by Naraku’s tentacles almost at the beginning, that had enraged him but he knew it had been a possibility when they entered this battle. After all Naraku had been adamant on destroying Kikyo as she had prevented him from so many things. The Shikon No Tama was the cause of all this destruction and pain and since Naraku held the jewel in its entirety his powers were intensified. Once he held the jewel, well hell he wouldn’t truly know what to do with the jewel once it was in his hands, he was sure he didn’t want to be a fully-fledged demon anymore but neither did he want to be human, anyone who held a grudge against him would go looking for him in human form and he was virtually vulnerable as one.
“Wind Scar.” he shouted as he unleashed the wind scar on Naraku and his minions. It was then that he noticed that Kagome and Sesshoumaru had made their way to the frontlines and they were standing off against Naraku.
Crazy wench. What is she trying to pull now, he thought to himself although out loud he cried out “Kagome.” He knew she was in danger from where she stood so close to the evil hanyou. Even if his brother Sesshoumaru was there and they had a temporary alliance, he wasn’t entirely sure that his brother wouldn’t sacrifice his beloved Kagome if he had the chance. He saw as Kagome turned to his brother what she was saying he wasn’t sure not even his sensitive ears could hear from such great a distance although he noticed that Sesshoumaru’s head moved slightly in a nod. Those two were up to something but he wasn’t sure what it was. Then he saw that Kagome pulled an arrow from the quiver and notched it. He could feel her sacred power magnifying itself and encircling the arrow head and then just as suddenly she fired it at Naraku. The arrow blazed like a falling meteor and in its wake of pink light he saw Sesshoumaru spring towards Naraku his sword blazing with Kagome’s miko power. How could his demon sword blaze with the power of a priestess and more specifically he was using Tenseiga. The dolt was using the wrong sword, after all even he knew Tenseiga didn’t kill but only revived the dead.
Inuyasha noted that the battle had stopped and everyone stood still watching what the outcome of this endeavor would be. Naraku let out a maniacal laugh at what he thought was another foolish attempt but Inuyasha noted something else. Naraku was so busy focusing on Sesshoumaru that he hadn’t even noticed that Kagome was moving towards him as well from the opposite direction of Sesshoumaru. She was moving so fast that Inuyasha wouldn’t have even seen her if it hadn’t been for the flare in her powers. Sesshoumaru swung Tenseiga and in a surprising move the sword actually sliced Naraku’s head from its resting place and it was at that moment that Kagome reached into the cavity of his throat her hand and power purifying the evil hanyou’s body leaving in her hand the whole Shikon No Tama which she purified on contact. He watched in shock as Sesshoumaru handed Kagome Naraku’s head, it looked like some sick twisted offering although Kagome accepted it and the head of the hanyou purified with her touch effectively ending the life of their greatest enemy. How frustrating that after all his treachery and plots his ashes floated on the breeze, the battle nothing compared to others he had fought.
Kagome’s strength gave way with that show of power and she fell to her knees in exhaustion although she watched as her friends make their way to her. She held the stone to Inuyasha when he approached her. “It belongs to you just as I promised you it would be.”
Everyone gasped in shock as they watched the young priestess for she was handing the stone over as though she wanted no place in making this final decision. Sesshoumaru was a silent figure beside her, his own presence unnerving although they knew he did not desire the stone.
“Why don’t you make a wish?’ Inuyasha asked his young friend, as he stared at the stone in his grasp.
“I’m afraid any wish of mine would be prejudiced and an unselfish wish must be made.” she explained voice soft, her eyes half closed as sleep threatened to overtake her.
Unselfish, huh? Inuyasha thought, I don’t desire to be a demon and I know that wish would have tainted the Shikon No Tama. There’s only one thing I desire the most that would be unselfish. He felt foolish as he made his final wish, Shikon No Tama, my wish is for Kagome to finally be happy. I know she has suffered so much and all I really desire is her happiness.
Suddenly the stone disappeared and Kagome collapsed.
How he wished he hadn’t made that wish after all. He had thought that her happily ever after would be with him but it wasn’t to be. Somewhere along the line she had chosen Sesshoumaru and the Lord of the Western Lands had chosen the young miko. Kagome had told him as much when she had awoken.
I’m sorry, I love him. Those words kept echoing in his head every day and night and he couldn’t even rid himself of them even when he drank sake. The drink only seemed to amplify the pain and make the words run on a loop.
Miroku’s thoughtful violet eyes took in the sight of his friend. Inuyasha was disheveled well at least even more so than normal. “Inuyasha, what’s wrong?” the monk asked knowing exactly what was wrong with his friend. However, he also knew that his friend needed to talk about it instead of keeping his emotions bottled up. It wouldn’t do the hanyou any good to destroy his mind.
“You know damn well what’s wrong with me. As I am sure everyone else does.” Inuyasha stated loudly, his words slurring effectively showing his drunkenness even as a hiccup escaped him. “Girl another bottle of sake.”
Miroku shook his head sending his jet black hair flying. Poor Inuyasha he truly suffered the most out of all of us when Kagome left. After all at least they still had some access to the young miko. Inuyasha had been barred from seeing the young priestess or from even seeking her out.
Inuyasha belligerently called for the bottle of sake once more. I know what you’re thinking and maybe you’re right. After all maybe the sake isn’t helping me but damn it what am I supposed to do. I love that insane woman and at one time she loved me. How I lost her to him, I will never understand. Why she became his mate, well who knows? Hell, I’ll never get anything she does. I understand it was my fault. Hell maybe I blame myself more than anyone else knows. If I hadn’t pushed her away for so long maybe she’d be in my arms right now and I wouldn’t be here drinking with Miroku. He sighed a frustrated sigh as the thoughts in his head clamored for attention.
“Inuyasha maybe we should go?” Miroku asked suddenly uneasy as he looked towards the doorway.
Inuyasha sniffed knowing his senses were dampened from the sake he had consumed in great quantity but he could swear there was a hint of fear in Miroku’s scent and in his eyes. Why the hell is he scared? Inuyasha questioned himself as he raised one bushy silver brow. I’m the one who should be terrified of where my life is headed.
Then he caught a familiar scent as the wind blew in from the open entranceway. She’s here, my Kagome is here, and from the smell of her she’s here without her mate. Hell the guy must trust her more than I ever did. His flattened ears perked up as he heard her voice asking kami knows what, he couldn’t make it out.
Now was his chance, while she was here without her mate he could finally get the answers he felt he deserved.
Miroku watched Inuyasha’s facial expressions, he knew this meant trouble as he saw his friend abruptly stand albeit was wobbly.
Inuyasha felt a restraining hand on his arm as Miroku whispered, “Don’t you’ll only get hurt.” He couldn’t understand why his friend was restraining him. He willed the fog in his head to lift but it wouldn’t, he sniffed the air and noticed that Miroku’s fear had spiked, was that it? Does he actually think I’d be able to hurt her. I love her too damn much to ever hurt her that way. He shook off the grasp on his arm and turned to walk to the priestess’ side.
He read the expressions so clearly on her face. Kagome had always been so easy to read, anger, shock and lastly fear settled on her perfect features. Her brown eyes swirled with too many damn emotions like always. His own amber eyes turned sorrowful as he finally realized that like the monk, Kagome thought he would hurt her. Keh. Why does everyone think I’m going to do something so horrible?
She nodded her head slightly as she acknowledged his presence, “Hello, Inuyasha.” she said her voice soft and demure as a lady’s should be. What in the hell had happened to her since he’d last seen her?
He knew he was beneath her now, knew he shouldn’t even talk to her but he couldn’t help himself. “Why? Why did you leave me?” He slurred even as he held out a hand to her.
“I-Inuyasha,” her voice stuttered over his name. “I don’t think you have any right to question me.” The fear in her eyes and scent was almost tangible.
“I think I do.” he said his voice rising in anger. “I love you, and you left me alone. Did you think it wouldn’t hurt? Do you think it doesn’t hurt still to think that you left me for him?” his words were slurred but damn it he needed to know. I know its wrong to put her in this position to back her into a corner and force her to answer my questions but I need the answers. I need them for my peace of mind.
“I knew it would hurt you and guess what I wanted it to. Don’t act as though you hadn’t been hurting me as well running back and forth between Kikyo and me. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t get tired of it? So honestly, don’t act like you’re the victim here it doesn’t suit you.” her voice dripped with acid in its sudden intensity and he relived all the pain he’d put her through.
“I knew I hurt you but damn it wench I still love you. Didn‘t you realize that what I was doing with Kikyou I did for you. You think I wanted to be around her? I was trying to keep you safe, protect you from her wrath and her evil plots about your soul.”
Kagome gasped she had never grasped how much he cared but it was too late she loved another and had even become his mate. “You are far too late Inuyasha, I don’t love you anymore.” The sadness that laced her voice pierced his soul, it was obvious she still cared but not with the intensity she once had.
“Why him? Tell me why it had to be Sesshoumaru?” He was begging for an answer something he’d never think he’d ever do.
Once again the fear in her came to life, “Your brother loved me when I felt no one did. He courted me for a good year before the final battle with Naraku. He had no trouble telling me he loved me. It was then that I realized I loved him with all my heart and the feelings I felt for you were only because Kikyou had died hating and loving you at the same time. My love for you was a remainder from my past life nothing more, we were never meant to be.”
“You love him? Damn it Kagome, why did it have to be my brother though?”
“Because you were too late.” she said her voice filled with sadness at his pain.
Miroku didn’t know why he let this foolishness go on for as long as it had. He paid their bill and walked towards the pair that was never meant to be. “I am truly sorry, Lady Kagome of the Western lands,” he said emphasizing her title to Inuyasha and Kagome straightened. “Inuyasha does not know what he speaks. It’s just the sake talking.”
Kagome nodded her head in understanding as Miroku pushed Inuyasha out the doorway.
Just the sake talking. Inuyasha thought as a lone tear slid down his cheek as he realized that she truly loved Sesshomaru and not him and not to mention that her feeling had only been left over from Kikyo.