Disclaimer: Inu and Co. belong to Rumiko Takahashi. What If belongs to SafetySuit. I own nothing but the ideas and voices in my head. :3
What If
The blinding flash that lit the sky could be seen for miles past the clearing where the final confrontation had occurred. Naraku had always been too overconfident in himself and in his plans. In the end that had been his greatest downfall. When he took the last remaining shard from Kohaku’s dead body he absorbed the jewel’s power and the Shikon no Tama merged itself together inside him. However the Shikon’s power was too great for the human turned half demon and the power quickly overcame him. That power, mixed with Kagome’s spiritual energy as she purified the stone from afar was sufficient to weaken his defenses enough to destroy the being once and for all.
It seemed unreal, that the vile hanyou Naraku was final defeated. One by one the victors left standing on the field turned to look at one another. Cerulean met amber, amber met gold, gold turned to hazel…it went on until each person had assured themselves that they were truly alive and Naraku was dead. Human and half-breed, taiyoukai and youkai, dogs and wolves, spiritual healers both monk and miko, Lords, princes and vassels, each too afraid to move or speak or even breathe too heavily in case it disrupted the serene peace that had fallen over each of them.
Labels mattered little in their eyes at the instant in time, and for just the barest of moments they all shared one important similarity. They had defeated the greatest evil the world had ever known. As realization of what had occurred dawned on each of them, they thought back to their last few moments as allies in the fight to save their world. Some were far too proud to show their gratitude and appreciation for what had occurred, but each knew the thoughts were mutual. Some, who were far too brash and outspoken, fell silent as they contemplated what the moment in history would mean for others like them in the future.
Kouga from the wolf tribes of the East, and one of Kagome’s dearest friends sat quietly with tears streaming down his face as he cradled Ayame gently in his arms. Her fire-like red hair fanned out under her and stuck to the side of her face by the blood that was pouring from a cut on her forehead. Her breathing was erratic and Kagome knew she would not last much longer. Along with several other cuts and gashes covering her body, the poison from Naraku’s miasma was too strong for even her to withstand for long.
Kagome was beyond happy to see that Inuyasha was embracing a very much alive Kikyo and that the both of them seemed to be relatively unharmed. A tight smile graced Kikyo’s face when her eyes met Kagome’s and Kagome gave a nod of her own in response. Although the two were not friends, they had reached an understanding on the hanyou demon that they had both loved once upon a time. They both knew that Kikyo would always be the love of Inuyasha’s life, and Kagome would always be the best friend he could have never asked for.
Her eyes fell next on the older half brother of Inuyasha, and the pain that was etched across his features almost made her heart break. He sat cross legged with his father’s sword Tensaiga across his lap, and at his feet lay a small human child who could not have been older than 10. When he caught her stare he sheathed his sword, picked up the girl and was gone in less than a moment. If Kagome had blinked she would have missed the entire progression. She knew not where he had gone, but she knew he would not have gone far. His retainer and most loyal servant, Jaken, was still scampering around the battlefield searching for the missing pieces of his shattered weapon. Although Sesshoumaru was a cold-hearted bastard who seemed to have less personality than an ice cube, she knew that he would not leave Jaken behind. He was beneath him, but he was still pack.
Kagome’s gaze drifted to Shippou where he lay draped across Kirara’s large form. She had been so unbelievably proud of the young fox kit when he had joined the battle. He had fought with just as much heart as any of them, and because he was so tiny he had easily stayed out of harm’s way. Kanna, the young void demon that had been born from Naraku’s hatred was tending to several small wounds the fire cat had suffered while flying around and watching her mistress. Kagome was happy to see the girl helping those that had fallen during battle. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the two demons after Naraku’s defeat but was pleased to know their lives were now their own.
Finally her eyes landed on the pair she had dreaded seeing the most. The woman she had come to look up to as an older sister, with whom she had shared so many memories and experiences with over the past few years, had fallen in battle not long before the end. The pink and black of her slayer’s outfit could barely be made out from the shredded remains of her clothing. Sango’s brown eyes were wide and afraid, staring at an enemy that no one could see. Miroku’s hand reached over and slowly slid his wife’s eyes closed. He wept as he stroked her pale and lifeless cheek with a hand that no longer carried his family’s cursed wind tunnel. She had been fearless until the very end and he would have given anything to tell her how proud he was of her in that very moment.
Kagura watched the man with sad eyes as he grieved for the woman he had waited a lifetime for and lost just as quickly. Her eyes followed the trail of each group of people, cursing the spider demon once again for bringing so much pain to so many people. Landing on Kagome the older woman sighed heavily at the young miko. She had given up so much to be where she was today, her family, her friends, even her very life had been sacrificed for a world in which she did not belong. She felt sorry for the girl, who was now alone in this world, just as Kagura was.
She moved slowly so she wouldn’t frighten her, and placed a hand on Kagome’s shoulder. It fell under the woman’s weight and Kagome slumped to the ground abruptly. It was as though that one simple movement brought everything that had happened crashing down on her. Suddenly her tears were falling and she pounded her fists against the cold unforgiving earth cursing any and all Kami she knew about the unfairness of lives lost. Kagura realized too soon that if she did not do something this young vibrant woman who had been so full of life would sink so deep inside herself that none would be able to save her from her own self torment.
She pulled the girl to her feet and Kagome fought her every step of the way. The girl refused to look at her and after urging her to several times Kagura firmly grasped her chin and forced Kagome to look at her. “You are stronger than this. You can and you will survive this.” Whatever thoughts ran through her mind in that moment, Kagura would never know, but the resolve in Kagome’s eyes as she walked over to the completed jewel and picked it up was enough to let her know that somehow, someway, the girl would overcome this.
Many people had lost their lives fighting for the ones they loved and a cause they had faith in. Too many to truly count, but each life given had helped saved the world from an evil so vast it shook the very foundations in which they lived. Those who survived, rest assured, would make certain that the memories of their fallen friends lived on and their sacrifices were held with the utmost honor and respect.
They had been bonded, albeit unwillingly, but each of them had accepted it. And if nothing else they would always share this memory with each other. No matter how long or short they happened to live. No matter where or when time found them again.
What if it makes you sad at me
And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep
And what if it takes your breath and you can't hardly breathe
And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound
Kagome did not know how long she walked in silence. She had left the others in the clearing after the battle and couldn’t bring herself to go back just yet. She wandered aimlessly never sure which direction she traveled but continued on as though she had all the time in the world to occupy herself. In truth, she really did have plenty of time on her hands now. The quest she had started when she was 15 had finally come to an end. She was free to return to her home and finish her schooling, free to choose what she wanted to do with her life, so why was it she felt so unbelievably trapped.
Once upon a time she believed after her quest with Inuyasha and the others she would return to her own time, continue living her own life, and call the past a distant memory. But as time went on, alliances were formed, friendships were forged, bonds were made, some deepened…some broken. Memories were made. She was both disappointed and relieved in so many things in the moment.
The pink glow of the Shikon burned faintly against her neck where it hung, dimming and shinning as her thoughts changed. “This is your fault you know. So much pain and suffering because of you. I wonder if Midoriko imagined the trouble you would cause when she created you.” The stone changed to a bright light pink and warmed against her skin, as if caressing her to say it was sorry. “I know you didn’t mean it.”
She wandered deeper into the forest and as the sun sank below the tree line she knew she should head back to the others but she wanted to enjoy her peace for just a while longer. She spotted a stream not too far off and ventured over to wash her hands and get a cold drink before she continued on again. As she studied her reflection in the water she realized just how much the battle had really affected her. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying and there were heavy bags under her eyes from when she hadn’t slept. Her face looked as though it had aged years since yesterday when she had last looked at herself in a mirror. She saw the twigs and leaves poking out of her unruly hair and couldn’t help but let out a hallow chuckle. She was covered in mud and other extremities from the battle and wondered if there was anywhere nearby to bath other than the cold river.
“There is a hot spring not far from here.” A cold voice answered her silent question without emotion from somewhere behind her, “Come.”
She turned abruptly wondering why she had not sensed his presence before now and realized she had been too buried in her thoughts. His youki was bearing down on her like a force field and just as quickly was gone when he turned and walked away. She huffed at his demeanor but silently followed anyway. She knew Sesshoumaru would not hurt her, and though she did not trust him she desperately wanted a bath.
Sesshoumaru hadn’t cared either way if the human girl followed him or not. He felt her presence long before she realized she was invading his personal space. He chose to ignore her for several hours and he suspected that was exactly what she wanted in the first place. As he noticed night was falling he decided to seek her out.
She was a clumsy fool, and an ignorant girl who did not know how to show proper respect to those who were above her. However, it would not do to have his half-brothers pack mate, whom had just saved the fate of his world, dying because she could not protect herself from the night.
He heard her following him some time after he walked away from her and continued to make the trek to the hot spring. He didn’t bother sparing her a glance in the slightest as a slender clawed finger raised and pointed to a secluded hot spring in the distance. She sped up her movements and made her way over to the hot spring disappearing behind a rotting tree stump.
To say she had been surprised would have been an understatement but she was no less ungrateful for the opportunity to relax and enjoy her private moment in the hot spring. She stripped herself of her clothing and let out a content sigh as she leaned against a small rock, causing the water to cover her completely up to her chin. The small jewel at her neck pulsed rhythmically as she closed her eyes and lulled herself into a light slumber. She wasn’t exactly asleep, per say, but it was nice to close her eyes and pretend that everything was alright, if only for a moment.
She knew she had a big decision to make in the next few days and she did not want to rush anything. Her fear of failure was even greater than her excitement of being triumphant. She pushed herself off from the rock once her fingers began to prune and submerged herself in the water completely. Now would be the time when I’d love to have my shampoo. Seeing as she had none she cleaned her hair the best she could without. She wasn’t sure how long it took her to untangle all the knots out of her hair, but her skin was bright and red when she was finally ready to leave.
Kagome hadn’t intended to impose on Sesshoumaru longer than necessary but when she tried to leave his stripped hand blocked her path and his low growl warned her not to leave. “I don’t want to be a burden. I should probably go back to my friends f.” He didn’t touch her, didn’t reach for her, but he did not try to stop her from leaving either. The warning in his deadly golden eyes was enough not to cause her to protest further.
Kagome studied him as she followed him once more to someplace she had never seen but he had obviously been. Sesshoumaru’s tall and lithe frame towered over her short petite one. She was in awe of him, though she’d never openly voice her thoughts, when the trees and forest parted around them and a field of flowers presented themselves. She wasn’t sure why he had brought her here until she noticed the same tiny human girl laying still in the center of the field.
He walked past her and sat down in front of the child just as he had been earlier that day on the battlefield. She cautiously followed and sankf into the flowers on the other side of the girl, directly across from him. Neither spoke as they studied the small form between them, one refusing to speak, and one unsure how. The girl’s brown hair lay flat beneath her and Kagome could tell the demon lord had taken great care to make sure her grooming was immaculate.
She knew nothing of this girl except that she traveled with the lord. She knew not why she did, or how she came to follow, or even what her name was. But if there was one thing that Kagome knew, it was that the human hating proud taiyoukai, Lord Sesshoumaru of the western lands, had lost someone dear to him the same as any of her or her friends in this fight. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, this demon who had on several occasions tried to kill her in cold blood, but she knew if she had he would most likely chop off her whole arm just for trying.
Kagome took another minute to study the girl who had been taken from her short life far too early. Her featured were soft and she looked younger than she was. Her eyes were closed so Kagome didn’t know what color they were but she wanted to imagine they were a beautiful chocolate brown. There was a calm about her that one might mistake for her sleeping. The orange and yellow yukata she had been wearing earlier was replaced with a silver one that bore the same patterns the western lord wore on his, the only difference being that hers were blue. Though it was now dark, Kagome could see a small patch of red on the child’s side. As she reached to touch her Sesshoumaru’s low warning growl was explicitly clear. She was allowed to observe, but she would not be permitted to touch.
“Sesshoumaru-sama, this child is-“
“Rin.”
“Um...Rin?”
“Rin’s name is Rin.” A look of pain flashed through his eyes so swiftly Kagome wasn’t sure if she had imagined it or not.
“She’s…” Kagome wanted to call her beautiful, but she didn’t believe that was the right word to describe the small child, “Precious, Rin is precious Sesshoumaru-sama. Who is she?”
What if what I want makes you sad at me
And is it all my fault or can I fix it please
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
For almost ten minutes Sesshoumaru simply stared at her as though he had not heard her question at all. And maybe he really hadn’t; He was so lost in his own thoughts of the first time his Rin had ever said those words to him, that he was only vaguely aware of the being seated across from him waiting patiently for his answer.
“…You don’t need to speak of her if you don’t want. I know it can be painful to lose a loved one.”
The girl’s babbling broke him from his memories and he thought to tell her to be silent, he thought to tell her she did not know what she was speaking of, and he thought to tell her that, he, Sesshoumaru, did not love anyone; But a ghostly whisper played in the back of his mind of all the times Rin had tried to comfort him in much the same way causing him to pause and answer the girl.
He spoke with few words. He did not speak more than was necessary and he never repeated himself. He never addressed her directly, finding more comfort in speaking to the wind, and she didn’t seem to mind. She asked many more questions that night, and never pressed when he refused to answer some, taking care to pay rapt attention to the questions he deemed worth an extra explanation or two.
Kagome had been enraptured by his tale from the very beginning. From the time he explained how he had saved Rin not once but twice before she had come to be in his care. He spoke about her with the highest regards and Kagome couldn’t help but let out a small giggle when he shared the story of Rin trying to save his life with a fish. He had looked at her coldly and told her to cease her laughter or he would none too politely ensure her silence. She had sobered up quickly after that and had gone back to giving him her undivided attention.
Although Kagome had wanted to comment on many of the stories he shared about Rin, she knew it was neither her place nor the right time, so she was content to listen to Sesshoumaru. She was stunned to note the changes his voice took when he spoke of Rin, it was refreshing to know that this demon who believed he was so above the rest of the world he lived in was just as prone to having emotions as the rest of them. Granted, whether he chose to show those emotions was another matter entirely.
She never understood why he chose to answer her that night, but she suspected that he had needed comfort just as much as any of her other friends would have. It didn’t matter that he despised her race and everything they stood for, it didn’t matter that he was undeserving of any redemption in his lifetime, and yet with each word Sesshoumaru spoke, she saw fit to grace him with that redemption. The only thing that mattered in those moments the two beings shared was a mutual understanding of each other. Kagome had tried to ease his heavy heart with words of wisdom and comfort from a time that he would never see. And Sesshoumaru came to realize that perhaps not all humans were as repugnant as he had once though.
“You were always there to protect her, Sesshoumaru-sama.”
As the stars came out to light the sky and conversations grew thinner with less words spoken, Kagome wanted to give the lord one last comfort. “Sesshoumaru-sama, in my time, when a person dies we hold a ceremony for them. If you would wish it, I’d like to give Rin a proper burial.”
“Rin will not be placed in the ground like some commoner. She will be burned, as the rest of my family has been. She always wished she could fly.”
Kagome gasped and wanted to tell him it was cruel to burn someone instead of burying them, but she didn’t want to upset the demon lord. He had always done as he chose, and nothing she or anyone else could do or say would change his mind, most certainly not where Rin was concerned. Nodding they fell back into a comfortable silence.
“You do not believe it proper. I know you humans. But it is the highest honor I can give her after I failed to protect what is mine.” He gracefully stood and walked toward the forest again intending to gather dried leaves and branches to create the final resting place for her. She would be burned at dawn, and it would take him longer to gather enough bark and twig with only one arm.
Kagome noticed him look down at his single arm in disgust and quickly joined him to help. She did not acknowledge his look, simply brushing past and gathering as much as her arms could carry at once. She knew he was too proud to ask for anything from anyone, her least of all, and decided to show him a kindness for sharing Rin’s past with her when he hadn’t needed to.
They gathered in silence adding to the large pile being made in the field of flowers next to Rin. For hours the pile grew larger and larger until it was finally big enough for Sesshoumaru’s liking. When Sesshoumaru gently placed her atop the pile he seemed quite reluctant to let her go. Kagome’s heart went out to the proud youkai and she wanted to turn and give him his privacy. She believed that this act should be reserved for him and him alone with Rin, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Stay.”
She nodded an affirmative and watched as the flames floated higher into the sky blending with the orange and red colors just breaking over the horizon. Demon and miko stood side by side in silence watching as the day began anew. Birds chirped signaling their wake from slumber and the world continued to move around them.
A steady breeze floated past them and their free hair mingled together and swayed in the wind as the fire began to die down. Not once throughout Rin’s funeral did Sesshoumaru’s hand move from her shoulder so when he abruptly released her she held her breath worried that she had somehow offended him. She flinched a moment and finally gathering the courage to look over she saw him hang his head as he watched what was left of his precious Rin be carried off by the wind.
She was sure there was nothing she could do to ease his pain and she was leery that her next words might get her killed, but she felt she needed to say them regardless, and that Sesshoumaru needed to hear them. “She is not gone forever. You will see her again. Someday.”
“How can you know that human.”
“Because you must have faith Sesshoumaru-sama. You must believe that there is something more out there for each of us.”
“You speak of things you do not understand.”
Sighing to herself the miko understood that the Sesshoumaru that had been with her all through the night was now gone, hidden behind the cold uncaring exterior of a demon lord who once again was left with nothing. She huffed and repeated herself for good measure,
“Someday, Sesshoumaru-sama, someday you will understand.” With that she turned her back to him and walked back the way she had come the night before. Not caring that she had just offended the most powerful being of their time, and not caring that he could kill her in less than a second, Kagome disappeared into the forest once again. Back to her friends, to people who loved her, and back out of his life.
And Sesshoumaru thought for a fraction of a second that the Shikon no Miko, Kagome Higurashi, might just have a point.
What if it makes you lose faith in me
What if it makes you question every moment you cannot see
And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key
What if it makes you ask how could you let it all go
Inuyasha was the first person to see her when she finally emerged from wherever it was she had disappeared the night before. He ran over to her and held her at arms length while looking her over to make sure she was not hurt in any way. She still had a faraway look in her eyes and when he leaned in to sniff her he noticed something strange about her scent.
“Oy Kagome. Why do you smell like the asshole Sesshoumaru?”
Sesshoumaru’s name seemed to grab everyone’s attention and now the other members of the group she had deserted the previous day were staring at her wide eyed and in wonder. “Please Inuyasha, not right now. I will explain, but I can’t…just not right now.” The pleading look she gave him was enough to draw even his sympathy full force and he hugged her while rubbing soothing circles against her back.
“We’ll talk soon okay. We wanted to wait for you, did you want to say goodbye before we buried them?” He gazed out where the two women were laying side by side, one hand across Kagome’s waist and guided her toward the group. When they reached the others Inuyasha left her standing between himself and Kikyo, who reached out and grasped the other miko’s hand firmly in her own.
Kagome stared at the two women as Kouga knelt down and gently picked Ayame up in his arms. They had each decided the final resting place for their fallen packs would be buried here, where the battle had finally ended. She watched as he laid her inside the freshly dug earth and whispered against her hair. She didn’t try to hear what was said, knowing it was meant for her ears alone.
Inuyasha left her side after Kouga jumped out of the hole in the ground and helped Miroku move Sango to lie next to Ayame. Kagura, she noticed, moved silently to occupy the recently vacated spot next to Kagome. Compared to the two women next to her Kagome suddenly felt rather small and tiny. As Miroku also said his final goodbyes and climbed back out onto the grass Shippou jumped onto his shoulder and comfortingly wrapped his tail around the man’s neck.
“We should say something to them fbefore it is finished.” Kanna’s small voice could be heard and Kirara mewed in agreement from where she stood next to the child.
Several sets of eyes fell on Inuyasha expectantly and he huffed as he kept his own tears at bay. “You guys know I aint good at this kind of stuff.”
“I can do it.” Kagome whispered softly. Finding her voice seemed to be rather difficult for her but after a moment of silence she continued, “Each life lost here had affected us in more ways than we could imagine. Every one of us has sacrificed much to make it as far as we have today and not one of us will allow those sacrifices to be in vain.” Her voice broke then and tears began to fall without her permission. When she felt both women at her sides squeeze her hands in silent support she regained her composure and continued on, “We must always remember that we will see our loved ones again someday.”
She smiled remembering the similar conversation she had had a few short hours ago and continued again, her voice growing stronger still, “Those we love are not lost to us forever, and they are never truly gone if we hold them close in our hearts and our memories. We will remember them in our thoughts and our prayers. We will remember them in our laughter and our tears. We will remember them in everything we do, and everything we say, until the day comes when we will once again see them.”
As Kagome finished her speech she looked around to see that each of her friends, both new and old, had tears in their eyes. Kagura lifted her fan and with a flick of her wrist the freshly dug mounds of dirt that sat next to the grave had been picked up by the wind and laid softly on top of the two souls who rested peacefully beneath the surface. Sango’s Hirakotsu and Ayame’s Iris were each placed firmly by the head of the grave as a marker of the fallen warriors.
No one said anything as the group took to the sky to travel back to Kaede’s village. Inuyasha carried Kikyo, Miroku and Kanna rode on Kirara, and Kagome and Shippou were left to ride with Kagura on her feather. Each was lost in their own thoughts and no one spoke until they finally made their decent several hours later. Inuyasha was the first to speak,
“I’ll go tell Kaede we’re back. Kagome, can you make some Ramen?” Not even looking at her he ran off to leave the group on the outskirts of the village. Kagome began the task of fixing everyone something to eat and the two new members of the group sniffed at it skeptically when she offered them each a bowl of the steaming noodles. Kouga assured them that it was edible and after watching him inhale his share without dying they gulped up theirs just as quickly.
Leaving enough for Inuyasha when he returned, Kagome tended to the fire to ensure it stayed lit and warm throughout the night. She was sure none of the other members of their party would want to sleep inside the village and be bombarded with questions before they were ready to be answered. Each of them were gathered around the blazing fire when Inuyasha reappeared once more. Scooping up the remaining dish of ramen he ate in silence and between mouthfuls he watched the others. His stare falling on Kagome last, he waited expectantly for her to explain where she had gone the night before.
“I don’t know what I can tell you. I wandered around in the woods for a while and happened to run into your brother – okay fine, half-brother.” She heard his huff and corrected herself before she continued on. She wasn’t sure how much she could or should share, given the obvious hatred that ran so deep in both dogs. She knew she wouldn’t share Sesshoumaru’s weakness with his brother. No matter how much she loved Inuyasha, she wouldn’t allow him to use cruelty to hurt anyone…even his brother. “Sesshoumaru-sama happened to come across me and rather than let me wander on my own I was given the opportunity to follow him to somewhere I would be safe for the night.”
She knew he wasn’t going to be happy with his explanation but she couldn’t give him anything more than that. She was more than tired, but she knew they also had more important matters to attend to before any of them could sleep any easier. “You still have a decision to make Inuyasha. What are you going to do about the jewel? It’s finished now, and I made you a promise.”
Before Inuyasha could respond Kikyo spoke up from her silent place at his side. “You have proven yourself as a true protector of the Shikon Jewel. You have managed to succeed where so many before you have failed, even me. You were not corrupted by the jewels false promises of power.” She placed her small hand on Inuyasha’s arm to steady his rising temper. “I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that you should not be held to the promise you once made to Inuyasha. It is not for him, nor me, nor anyone else to decide. The jewel is yours to do with what you wish. You have sacrificed much to be here, it seems only fitting that you be the one to be rid of it once and for all.”
Kouga’s jaw dropped at what the elder miko had said. He had been ready to break up a fight between the two females over whom the rightful owner of the jewel was. But when he heard what Kikyo told her, he couldn’t help but come to see the woman in a new light. Now he just had to worry about the mutt. Regardless of what Kikyo said, it was ultimately still Inuyasha’s decision, and he wouldn’t hesitate to defend Kagome if Inuyasha wanted to disagree with the miko.
“Kikyo’s right.” Inuyasha stood up and walked over to Kagome. He traced the chain of her necklace where his fingers lightly held the completed jewel. “This jewel has caused me enough grief for 10 lifetimes. I don’t want it anymore. I’ve found a place where I can live in peace. I’ve met people who finally see me and take me as I am. I wouldn’t change that for anything. You keep it. Make your wish.”
Kagome was speechless. No one ever thought Inuyasha, wild and crazy as he was, would ever willingly give up the one thing that could have given him everything he had ever wanted. She smiled then, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew her friend had finally come to realize the one thing she had tried to teach him since she had known him. “Thank you Inuyasha.”
“Keh. Don’t get all mushy on me girl. Make your wish already. I think we all want that thing gone for good!” Inuyasha let her go and sat down next to Kikyo again. With all eyes anxiously on her once again she was overwhelmed with everything that was riding on her shoulders in that moment. The gravity and entirety of the situation was bearing down on her like a cage, pressing around her and she couldn’t breathe.
“I need some time to think. I have to make an unselfish wish or the jewel will just be reborn again. I have to make sure everything is right before I do anything. I just…I need to think. Excuse me.”
She didn’t run, but by the time the well was in her view the crescent moon was adorned high in the sky. She wanted to check her watch and see what the time was, but it too was lost in the battle against Naraku. She still wore it on her wrist; the face had been broken when she fell against a rock, the hour and minute hands forever frozen at 7.06 pm, true irony at its best, although Kagome hardly considered Naraku the devil.
She basked in the familiar silence of her surroundings. Taking in the scenery once more and imagining a place 500 years in the future where nothing was the same. The beautiful forest she had grown to love would be torn down. Houses and corporate offices would occupy its space and everything beautiful and magnificent that made this world glorious would be traded for nothing more than a way to make money. Inwardly cringing at the thought she knew she would miss this place most of all from her past.
She didn’t belong here, of that she was sure, and though she had hoped she could stay she knew real life waited for her on the other side of the well. She kicked it once, yelping in pain when she stubbed her toe and spun around to face the Goshinboku tree. Her eyes widened when she noticed a tall figure standing quietly beneath the tree and made her way over to him. I have got to be imagining things. Twice in two nights is just surreal.
There was no mistaking the youki that silently pressed against her, and once again she had to reprimand herself for not noticing his presence. He did not speak when she was finally standing before him; he just stared at her with a transfixed look as if to say how dare you disturb my peace, filthy human. Sesshoumaru looked down at her neck where the jewel rested in silence and snarled when the pink light began to glow brighter.
“Why is it still living?”
What if what I want makes you sad at me
And is it all my fault or can I fix it please
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
Kagome was baffled. She had no idea why he should care about something as unimportant (in his eyes) as the Shikon no Tama. Wrapping her hand around the jewel to hide it from his view seemed to only make him angrier but Kagome stood her ground. “Why do you care? You don’t need the jewel, what matter is it of yours what I do with it?”
“Foolish human. Your arrogance knows no bounds. All of you are the same. You must be rid of that trinket once and for all or the whole of our world will be in danger and the sacrifices made would be for naught.”
Taken aback by his straight forwardness she wanted to question his statement but instead she chose to answer with a different approach. “I’m not sure how to get rid of it. My friends have left it up to me to make my own wish. But I’m afraid whatever I wish for will just create a bigger mess for everyone to deal with…”
He didn’t care, he told himself. All he wanted was an answer and this human took it upon herself to divulge her life’s story for him. It wasn’t his problem, he just wanted to see it taken care of, and soon. The sooner the jewel’s power was gone, the sooner he could resume his life.
Turning from her much like he had the previous night he started to walk away when her voice and movements stopped him. Kagome didn’t realize what she had done until it was already too late. Apologizing would do no good and begging would get her nowhere. She dropped her hand from his sleeve and lowered her head waiting to see what the demon lord would do next.
“Human.” He turned to stare at her coldly and waited until her eyes mfet his, “Do not put your hands on my person again or you shall be missing more than just a finger.”
“Yes Sesshoumaru-sama. Please forgive me; I did not realize what I had done. I only meant to stop you from leaving.” Taking a seat in front of the Goshinboku she motioned for him to sit as well, she knew he would refuse, but she could not help but ask him anyway. “Perhaps you could help me decide on the proper wish.”
He sighed inwardly and wondered when he began to care about the matters of humans. He justified his actions of joining her, telling himself that if this ridiculous human should be careless in her wish then Rin’s death would have been for nothing. He allowed himself to be seated beneath the ancient tree across from the Shikon miko, and together the two exchanged theories on a proper wish to destroy the trinket.
Things had gone smoothly between the two of them and Kagome knew how she would word her wish to be sure the jewel would be banished for good and would not return again to wreak havoc on the world. The two had come to a mutual understanding once again, and it seemed as though things could go back to normal come morning until Kagome let one small detail slip, “I hope this works you know, or else my time is going to be turned inside out and upside down.” She laughed her first real laugh in days and didn’t stop herself until Sesshoumaru had fallen unnaturally silent once again. I wonder what I did wrong this time.
So many things clicked in Sesshoumaru’s mind when those words fell from her lips. Her clothing, her style, her careless disregard for her own life, it was like someone had turned on a light bulb in his brain. “You are not from this time.” It was a statement rather than a question and Kagome quickly replayed their conversation in her head, concerned she had given too much away.
“I well, no, I’m not.” There was no reason to lie to him. Tomorrow she would be gone never to return and whatever was said between the two of them would cease to matter. “I’m actually from 500 years in the future to be exact. It’s quite different than what you are used to.”
As she moved to get up and return to her friends for some much needed sleep she noticed that he did not move from his spot beneath the tree. He sat staring at her, not saying a word, with a thousand questions running through his mind. He would not ask what he wanted to know, he was a Lord and asking for anything was beneath him. Had she been like a normal human of his time she would have known this, but she was not.
And so he was left with an unusual predicament. He could ask her the questions he was yearning to hear the answers to, thus satisfying his curiosity, but also forcing him to ask for something which he would never willingly do. Or he could let her continue to walk away, he would keep his pride but his curiosity would not be sated. Assuming that he could just kill her once her wish was complete, he knew he could prevent her from telling anyone of his moment of curiosity, and so he demanded more than asked the question that would forever change his perspective on one that called herself Kagome Higurashi. “You will tell me of your world human.”
She smiled at him with laughter in her eyes as she thought he was no better than a curious pup. She would satisfy his curiosity and tell him stories of her time, just like he had satisfied hers the night before with stories of Rin. She explained many of the wonderful inventions of her time to the demon lord, and he occasionally asked a question about how something worked, though mostly he kept quiet.
Regardless of whether Sesshoumaru was silent or an active participant in her story telling Kagome enjoyed every moment of it. She was also pleased to see his eyes were taking in everything she was saying, and she could almost imagine the little gears moving in his head as he tried to make sense of it all.
Sesshoumaru was especially interested in the thing Kagome had called an arrow-plane. He couldn’t imagine a world where humans had learned enough to actually cause themselves to fly. What she was suggesting was ridiculous, preposterous, insane and, “Impossible. Humans cannot fly.”
The hurt in his eyes in that instant made Kagome rethink how to properly explain an airplane without offending him. She knew he was thinking about Rin and her desire to fly. He wasn’t telling her humans could not fly, he was telling her that if there was truly a way, he would have found it somehow, and since he did not, it was not possible.
“I don’t think I’m explaining this very well. What I mean is humans have learned how to build machines. Very large, metal machines that we call airplanes. And humans can go inside the machine and the machine will fly you to different places around the world. It’s amazing the things we have learned in my time.”
He muttered a very Inuyasha sounding impossible under his breathe again and Kagome just shook her head. She supposed he would have to see it to actually believe it. She knew that would never happen and the thought made her a little sad. There were no demons in her time that she knew of. Her current train of thought caused her to ask him another question, praying she would not offend him in doing so,
“Sesshoumaru-sama, how old are you exactly?”
He looked disgusted that she had asked him such a personal question, and he didn’t bother wasting the breath to answer her question, just raised an eyebrow in silence. She wasn’t surprised when he didn’t answer to be honest she was just glad she was still breathing. Trying a different approach she asked another question,
“Do you think you will live to see another 500 years?”
“As if time could kill one such as this Sesshoumaru. Youkai have nothing but time to live. We only die when we are killed by stronger youkai. There are none who could defeat me. I will not die until I will it.”
I’ll take that as a yes then. “In my time, there are no youkai. I can feel no auras like I do here. Back home there’s nothing. I just assumed...”
“Inferior creatures. You are all the same. As youkai we can adapt to hide from our prey, from those who are beneath us, weak. If it as you say it is, there is no reason for us to boast our presence until we are sure we can conquer your lands once again.”
She huffed indignantly, ignoring the way his youki flared around her as her temper rose. She knew fighting with him would be pointless but she couldn’t help herself as the next words flew out of her mouth without her permission, “I can understand why you think humans are weak. I can understand why you believe humans in this time period are beneath you; because they are. I can even understand your pompous childish arrogant self-satisfying better-than-anyone attitude. But I am sick and tired of you belittling me and the rest of my time for something you can’t even begin to comprehend or understand!”
His eyes flashed red and swirledf dangerously like he was on the verge of losing control. Kagome knew she had gone too far, but once she got started she couldn’t stop the overflow. Jabbing a finger into his chest roughly she began anew, “No! You do not get to play the I’m-a-demon-and-I-can-kill-you-in-a-second card with me Sesshoumaru-sama! I have spent the better part of the last year with your crazy neurotic half-brother and I know how to handle an out of control youkai.”
“You tread dangerous ground human!”
“Kagome. Ka-go-me. I have a name, and you’d best start using it.” She jabbed her finger again, “I am Kagome Higurashi, protector of the Shikon no Tama. I defeated Naraku – the greatest evil ever known to human and youkai alike. I saved your world. Not you. Not Inuyasha. Me. None of you could have done anything to defeat him if it wasn’t for me. Now, you don’t have to respect humans, I get that. But you damn well better show some respect to me. I may not be your equal; but I’m sure as hell better than you seem to want to give me credit for.“
“You will die for your insolence.” Sesshoumaru was before her in an instant with his clawed hand around her neck. Blood trickled down her neck and he added more pressure. He wanted her to suffer, he wouldn’t kill her quickly.
Her eyes blazed but she didn’t try to purify him. Even if he was going to kill her she would not take his life from him. She sought to think of another option, and she prayed Kami forgive her for what she was about to do. She would make him stop, in the only way she knew how. She had neglected sharing with Inuyasha his brother’s weakness for this exact reason, but she had no other choice,
“Your half-brother is ten times the person you will ever be Sesshoumaru-sama. He has learned how to protect those he cares for without hiding inside himself, but you will never change. Rin should be ashamed of you.” His hand was gone in less than a second and his eyes were back to their stunning gold in less than a blink. And then he was gone, disappearing into the night like a shadow.
And if this be our last conversation
If this be the last time that we speak for a while
Don't lose hope and don't let go
Cause you should know
Kagome reached up and felt the spots where his claws had cut into her skin. She needed to clean up and fast. Before Inuyasha or Kouga could smell her blood and come looking for her. She couldn’t explain the situation without someone wanting to start a fight. Both males would take any reason to exchange blows with the older taiyoukai.
She cleaned herself off hastily in the river and made her way back to camp as quickly as possible. She let her powers flare around her, searching for a presence she knew wouldn’t be there. She was terrified he would come back and finish what he had started. Finally the camp came into view and she let out a breath of relief when she made it to her sleeping bag.
The fire had gone out long before she returned and there was no warmth left to give off any comfort. Wrapping herself completely into her sleeping bag she laid her head on the cool earth and let the tears fall as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.
It felt as though she had just closed her eyes to sleep when Inuyasha and the others could be heard arguing about something in the distance. Lifting her head up to look at the scene before her she couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. Inuyasha was wearing ramen in his hair and Kagura had Kagome’s cooking pot in her hand waving it around like a mad woman. Kikyo, Kanna and Shippou were each laughing while trying to pick the pieces of noodle out of Inuyasha’s hair. She wondered where Kouga and Miroku had disappeared to but no sooner had the thought crossed her mind the two males were seen carrying fish to the rest of the group.
A quick flashf brought everyone out of their antics and Kagome’s laugh was heard from underneath her sleeping bag. She brought the picture out to show everyone and each of them smiled at the memory she captured on film. Kanna seemed especially interested in the camera and politely asked Kagome to examine it. Once the young demoness figured out how to use the device properly she began snapping shots of everything around them.
“What were you guys trying to make?”
“Inuyasha had absolutely no idea how to cook your human foods Kagome-Sama.” Kagura said while studying the pot Inuyasha had tried to cook in.
Kagome waved her hands frantically when the older demoness added the honorific to her name. “No no, just call me Kagome.”
“Inuyasha said you returned rather late to camp last night, so we did not want to wake you. But he was hungry and impatient. Apparently your strange foods needed more water than he used.” Kikyo said as she took a seat next to the fire.
“I see. Well I can show you how to properly cook the ramen if you’d like.” She took the small pot from Kagura and the two women watched as she prepared the food with rapt attention. Miroku and Kouga were busy gutting the fish they would be eating for breakfast, talking adamantly about one thing or another. Inuyasha was busy running from Kanna and Shippou who seemed to think he made a very nice target for Kagome’s pictures.
It’s nice to see everyone happy again, even if the happiness won’t last for very long. Once the fish were done cooking over the fire and ramen had been dished out between those who wanted it the group sat down to eat. Miroku, surprisingly, had been the first to break the silence of their meal,
“So Lady Kagome, have you decided what you are going to do about the jewel yet?”
“I think I have Miroku.”
“You are certain? The wish must be one made without selfishness, lest the jewel just be born again in the future.” Kikyo commented quietly.
Kagome nodded an affirmative. “I know just how to word it so that the jewel should be gone once and for all. No one else needs to suffer because of it.” She offered Kikyo a smile as the older miko’s gaze shifted longingly to Inuyasha’s form.
“May we hear it Kagome-Sama?” Kanna asked.
“Not yet, I know as soon as I say the words I’ll have to go home, and I’m not ready to go just yet I think.” Kanna’s eyes searched hers questioningly and she realized the void child and wind witch did not know she was from the future. “It’s a long story. But I am not from this time, I don’t belong here. I was brought here to fix the jewel and once it was complete I’m meant to go home. At least everything I’ve ever been told makes it seem that way. I won’t be coming back.”
Most of their group had already known this was coming, but it darkened the pleasant mood to think about what they all knew was coming. “But we’ve barely begun to know you Kagome-Sama. Surely there must be a way for you to stay here.”
“I’m sorry Kagura, but there isn’t. I am not meant to be here. Staying would only cause trouble.” She looked towards Kikyo. “And please, I asked that you simply call me Kagome.”
“She calls you sama because you are worthy of the title. Asking someone, especially a youkai, to call you by anything less would be to disrespect your honor.”
All heads turned to look when Sesshoumaru stepped into the clearing. Here it comes. I’m so dead. Jaken scurried behind him carrying a newly completed staff.
“Get away from my pack you bastard. We don’t want you here.” Inuyasha wasted no time in brandishing his sword to face his half-brother.
“Silence half-breed. I am here to see it finished.” His looked pointedly at Kagome, waiting for her to make her wish.
“I’m afraid Sesshoumaru-sama, that you have come a long way for nothing. Lady Kagome is not yet ready to make her final wish. Perhaps you would be inclined to wait with us.” Miroku, ever the diplomat, tried to reason with the older youkai. Kagome smiled to herself as she thought about what a wonderful lawyer he would make someone in the future.
“No. It will be done now. This has gone on long enough. She has had time. Make your wish.”
“Don’t you come charging in here thinking you can throw orders around like we’re your loyal subjects you asshole. We don’t take orders from you, Kagome least of all.” Inuyasha’s sword transformed and he was getting ready to charge Sesshoumaru when Kagome’s voice broke out,
“Inuyasha wait. He’s right. We can’t delay any longer. But I don’t want it to be here. Let’s go to the well.” She avoided Sesshoumaru’s eyes as the group packed up their things. The air of melancholy could not have been cut through with the strongest of blades as each made their way to the clearing the well occupied.
What if what I want makes you sad at me
And if it's all my fault then let me fix it please
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
Cause you know that I'm always all for you
Kanna and Shippou shuffled through all the photos from the morning deciding which they would keep and which would be taken by Kagome as souvenirs of her journey. Pointing and giggling much like little children do, the adults couldn’t bring themselves to share in their simple joy. Kagome had a smile on her face when they handed over the ones they wanted her to keep; keeping the tears at bay seemed harder than she thought.
She took out her camera once again and had everyone stand around the well. The only one who refused her request was Sesshoumaru who had remained as far away from the group as he would allow. Not sure if he would or not, she politely asked Jaken to take several photos of the group. He surprised her by agreeing and after showing him how it worked she took her place in front of the well as he snapped photo after photo of their group.
She handed out a copy to each of them while she thanked the small toad for his help. He ignored her after that choosing instead to return to Sesshoumaru’s side and wait in silence. Kagome took turns saying goodbye to each of her friends in turn. She started with the most recent additions to their group, Kanna and Kagura. She couldn’t say much to them, because she had known them for so little time. But an idea came to her mind when she was giving Kagura a farewell hug.
“Kagura,” She whispered in the woman’s ear, “How long do youkai normally live?” Neither of them noticed how Sesshoumaru’s, Kouga’s, Kanna’s and Inuyasha’s ears perked up in interest to the girl’s question. She had sounded so desperate Kagura did not know how to respond.
“I believe, Kagome, that you shall see me again someday.” And with that Kagome’s mood had improved immensely from the somber attitude of the morning.
She hugged each Kouga, Miroku and Kikyo one after the other, whispered how much she would miss them. Kouga acted as though they would see each other tomorrow and even laughed it off when a tear had slipped past her cheek, telling her that there was no time for tears anymore. Miroku had been harder to say goodbye to than she first thought. She had smiled and couldn’t even bring herself to reprimand him when his hand sank dangerously low against her backside.
As the two miko hugged each other Kagome could feel the on slaughter of tears threatening to break through. She held her compose and grasped the woman tighter silently pleading take care of him for me, please. Kikyo seemed to understand what the younger woman was trying to convey and gave her a solid nod as she released her.
She had saved him for last because she knew once she was in his she would not be able to hold herself together. Kagome could not stop the tears that fell from her eyes when she and Inuyasha embraced for the final time, and he comforted her as best he could. Stroking her hair lightly and whispering in her ear he managed to calm her enough for her to make out his words. Yes, you’re right Inuyasha; we will see each other again someday. It’s like I always tell everyone all the time.
When she opened her eyes and stepped back from Inuyasha’s warm presence she felt another being enfold her in a hug. Kami. He must be losing his mind. There was no denying the fact that Sesshoumaru had his arm around her. She was so utterly lost in that moment she didn’t know what to think. And why on earth was he hugging her? She didn’t bring her arms up to return the hug. She simply stood there and waited for him to release her.
“Um...Sesshoumaru-sama?”
In a voice so low she was certain not even the other youkai among them could hear him he whispered against her ear, “This Sesshoumaru understands now. Rin would be pleased. We shall see each other someday. You shall come to see I can change, Kagome.”
He backed away from her without a sound, and before the others could argue with him, his cold voice spoke out above the others, “Make your wish.”
Kagome took in each face of the people before her. She engrained them in her memory where they would always stay for the rest of her life. She clutched the photo they had just taken like a lifeline as tears streamed down her smiling face.
“I wish…”
.::~~*~~::.
Just a quick AN: I’m sorry that I’m not very good at writing fight scenes, which is why in most of my stories I tend to skip over them or leave vague descriptions. I wanted my readers to feel the emotions of the battle so I put a lot of emphasis on the emotions of people *after* the battle. I hope it shows, and everyone enjoys. I’m really proud of how this turned out. And before anyone asks, this was written for FallenTenchi’s challenge, and as of this moment will remain a one-shot. Perhaps if I get some good feedback I'll finish it, but right now I want to focus on TH.