If I Die Young
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or his friends.
Song: If I Die Young by The Band Perry
Warning: Contains character death and may induce crying! Proceed with caution you have been warned.
A/N: Newly revised and edited for errors :)
He stared at her lifeless body sprawled in his arms. Blood soaked his kosode and hakama from the wound that blemished the little human's body. Her cerulean eyes were dull and lifeless no longer holding the warmth they once had held.
Tears formed in his golden eyes, but he shed none. He refused to show such weakness in front of his brother's pack. They will need him if the hanyou cracks. If the half-breed broke emotionally, there would be no one to pick up the pieces should they fall. He wasn't sure how to put them back together if they did. Fuck. He was not equipped to fix human messes. Demon Lords do not fix human plights. No, that was the wench's job and the little priestess was no longer there to do that.
'Gone.' The word was like a Mamushi* ready to strike down the strongest of men. No one was safe as long as that word flittered around. The Taiyoukai's saddened eyes drafted back to her still form. 'Gone.' The tiny Miko was forever silent among the land of the living. His teeth gritted together. Never would she abuse his sensitive ears with her unnecessary chatter. Never would she give him one of her smiles. 'Gone.'
The wind whipped through his silver locks as he ran toward the portal to her home. He did not want to do this. She belonged here with him, but she would not like that. The wench would want to be with her family. She would want them to know that she was no longer with them. She would like to be buried with her relatives and not in a time that would eventually forget that she even existed. The Miko from the future who saved them all, human and youkai alike, all of them lived because of one mere human, because of her.
The well came into view, and he knew he could not wait to go about this terrible mission. He stopped next to it and turned to the hanyou. He eyed the half-demon carefully. The half-breed was barely holding onto reality. He knew the half-Inu cared for the little human in his arms. He also knew the hanyou cared for these humans from her time dearly. They were a part of the brat's pack. He knew the half-brother would do everything to help them. No matter what they asked, he would do it, for her the hanyou would do anything. Hell, if he could he would as well. Damned blasted well if only it would let him through.
The taiyoukai handed his precious cargo over to the half-breed. He said nothing as he watched the Hanyou stare at the lifeless face of the Miko. Tears clouded the brat's amber eyes as he bowed his head and buried it into her raven locks.
His nose could smell the salt on the wind and knew the half-breed was crying. He could not believe the brat was showing such weakness. He could not understand why he was not staying strong for his pack. The Miko had been the base that they had all stood on, and now she was gone, and they were all tumbling from their places high above and plummeting swiftly toward the ground. The brat needed to be the one to catch his falling comrades. He needed to pull up his pants and take over what was taken from them.
Honey eyes watched as the hanyou got a hold of what wits he had left, and he leaped quickly into the well. The sound of his feet hitting the bottom with a hard thump echoed out of the chasm. The blue light that usually appeared was no longer there. It seemed that the well would not take them back. It refused to transport half-breed to the future, to her home. It ceased to exist now that her life was snuffed out of existence.
The demon heard a snarl rip from the hanyou, and he jumped from within the well landing a few inches from his person. His companions stared at the half-breed wide eyed.
The demon slayer's brown eyes pooled with more tears and buried her head in the Houshi's shoulder. The monk tried desperately to console the women. His violet eyes clashed with gold than to amber in confusion "You are still here."
The half-demon bowed his head. His bangs covered his angry eyes, and his voice came out low and scratchy "It will not take us back."
The monk held onto the slayer tightly. Sadness played in the Houshi's eyes "I was afraid of that." He turned his back from the heartbreaking scene before him. "Let's go to Kaedes'. We will prepare the preparations for our friend. It is the least we can do for her."
The Inuyoukai approached the sad hanyou and lifted the priestess from within his grasp. The half-demon's head shot up, his eyes burning into his as the hanyou reached out for the deceased miko. The grieving hanyou was looking for a fight "Give me her back. You have no right. If you don't…I swear to the gods… Give her back you bastard."
Hot emotion ripped from the cold Inuyoukai. His voice was low and dangerous "You will do what, Pup?" A hazardous growl ripped from the taiyoukai. Enough was enough with the damn brat. It was time for him to grow the hell up. "I will tell you what you are going to do. You are their pack leader." His head motioned back toward the sad humans in front of them. "I know you care for the Miko, half-breed but your other pack members are still alive. They are having a hard time with the loss of their friend as well so pull up your pants pup and take care of your pack. If it all falls apart, I cannot fix it." His eyes ran like molten lava "And do not think you can order me around. She is no longer here protect you, you little ingrate. I will no longer hold back, she is not here to stop me." He didn't wait for the half-breed's response as he whipped around brushing past the troubled couple and made his way to where the village Miko stayed.
It had felt like an eternity to make it back to the old Miko's hut. The brat had followed silently behind him, not one word out of his overly large mouth. The Inuyoukai could feel the heat from the brat's glare smoldering into the back of his head. He did not take his anger seriously. He knew the half-demon was not mad at him but at the situation itself. It was safer for the idiot to do something that was stable and consist then to risk going crazy with grief. For the first time in his life, he truly felt sorry for the pup. The Miko had been a special human. He had never met a human other than Rin, who was as loyal as she. She was like no other. He would find no other.
The older miko had made her way out of the hut, just as he came into view. The Miko's Fox demon sat on her shoulder, and his young ward stood by the old women's side. The older women's hand moved over her open mouth, and her eyes mirrored the other's feelings "No it cannot be. Not ye child, not ye."
The kit let out a heart-wrenching howl. His green eyes fill with tears as he launched his tiny body at the lifeless priestess. "No, No, NO!" His little fists beat against the human's silent chest. The kit couldn't hear a heartbeat. Why couldn't he hear her heart beat? Why wasn't she breathing? Why would she not wake up? "You promised." Sobs shook his little body. "You promised me you would not leave me. Mama you promised." The kit buried his small face between her breasts. "Mama. Maammmma."
The Inuyoukai's eyes softened, his voice usually harsh held less of an edge. "Shippou." The child lifted his head, his green eyes pooling with tears that instantly fell down his cherub cheeks. His lip quivered and flung to the demon's chest, fisting his kosode tightly with his small paws "Make her come back. You can do that. Please bring my mama back." The demon's heart squeezed with the strength of a vise grip. He wished he could do that for the young demon, but it was far too late to bring her back. No words could bring back the one human that had taken the demon child under her wing. Instead of words, he did the one thing his instincts told him to. His cheek rubbed against the tuff of red hair. A consoling growl rumbled his chest. The kit brushed back and sobbed harder into his now tear soaked chest. The scent of the Miko's blood and the kit's tears mingled together on the wind "Maaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmaaaa."
The Taiyoukai felt a tug on his sleeve, and a tiny cheerless voice pulled him away from the mourning kit. His ward stared up at him. Her bright smile was no longer on her innocent face "She is like how Rin was. You brought Rin back. You can bring her back." Her big eyes filled with tears. "You promised Rin whatever Rin wanted Rin could have. Rin wants the Miko-Sama back. You said Rin could have anything. Please…" Her voice shushed so softly that it could be barely heard "Papa, please make her wake up. Bring back our Miko-Sama"
The dog demon knelt down so he was eyed to eye with his ward, his child. He had promised himself that he would never break his word. Everyone knew his word was ironclad but this time he could not fulfill what his child wanted, he could not bring back the young vibrant female he held nestled in his arms. "I am sorry my child." His clawed hand caressed her cheek. Her tears fell down like rain. "But I cannot bring her back." More tears kissed her cheeks. "You said that…Rin could have…whatever Rin wanted." He wiped away some of the fallen tears "I know but this time I cannot do as you ask." "But…Miko-sama." Her eyes trailed to the female who was like a mother to her. She looked like she was sleeping, just like sleeping beauty but unlike sleeping beauty Miko-Sama would never wake up. She would never tell Shippou-chan and Rin another story again nor would she tuck them into bed at night. Miko-Sama was gone just like her other mother. Who would hold her when the nightmares came? Who would wipe away the frightened tears? A sob shook her petite body. Who? She was pulled into the Inuyoukai's chest, and he whispered in her ear "I am sorry little one. I will miss her as well." The young child cried harder. 'mama'
The older miko bent down and scooped up the small child from him "I will take her milord. Come child," Tears leaked out of the older Miko's crinkled eyes "you are not alone." The child sobbed into the Miko's bosom.
The demon stood up and avoided the melancholy stare of the older women as he walked past her and his ward and into the darkened hut. He moved to the floor mat and gently placed the deceased priestess on it. He pulled back, the kit still clinging to him like a lifeline. A clawed hand gripped onto the young child and went to the opposite side of the hut, his back resting against the cool wood. He slid his back down the wall and locked eyes on the still form of his first and only friend.
His ears picked up the sound of his other companions as they entered the older Miko's hut. Their feet shuffled a few feet from him and stopped. The Slayer's cries were intertwined with the small kits and his wards.
Minutes passed everyone struggling with their own grief. The old Miko cleared her throat destroying the stillness "The child left me with something before ye left. She made me promise that I would give it to ye should anything happen to her." She pulled out a brown paper bag from under the table and handed it to the half demon. The Inuyoukai watched the hanyou's hands trembled as he opened the sack. The half-breed pull out what the Miko had called an mp3 player. Along with the tiny device was a pair of small speakers whom the taiyoukai was guessing was to plug into the player. He watched his little brother turn the device around and read the small paper attached to the back of it.
The half-demon sat the speakers on the ground and attached it to the player. He turned on the power. Apparently, the Miko had turned it off to ensure that it would be in working order when they needed it. Clawed fingers pressed the buttons and switched it to the number indicated on the device.
There was silence at first then the rustling of fabric. Her voice floated on the air, permeating the silence in the hut. 'Hi. If you guys are listening to this, then that means that I didn't make it at the final battle with Naraku. It seems I was one of the casualties of war. I am sorry for that. I never thought that it would be so soon that I would leave this earth.' She laughed bitterly 'I have so much I want to do, so much I want to say. Things that I will never be able to do, things I will never experience. I love you all so much. Please do not blame yourselves for this. I was not meant to walk this earth here or in the future.'
She was quiet for a minute and her voice creaking slightly when she spoke 'Sango, please stop the tears. You are the best friend I could ever have, and I am so glad that our paths crossed. I love you, and I will truly miss our friendship.' The slayer could not help the remorseful sob that escaped her. The monk caressed the small of her back as the dead priestess pressed on.
'Miroku my dear friend, please take care of Sango. She is going to need you more than anything. I am counting on you. She is special to me so treat her right. No more wandering hands, okay.'
She cleared her throat and continued'Goodbye Kaede. I was honored to be grace to meet a Miko like you. Thank you for showing me that I was more than that mere girl from the future. I love you like a grandmother and will miss you.'
The priestesses' breath hitched in her throat and when she spoke her voice was heartbreakingly sad, and it held a soft comforting edge. 'My Shippou, My little baby boy. I know I promised you that I would not go, but it seems that I have to break that promise. I am so sorry, baby. I love you with all of my heart.' Her sorrow imbued the small hut 'Rin my beautiful little girl. I promised you as well that I would not leave. I shouldn't have promised this to the both of you but I truly never thought that I would be gone. I am so sorry. Remember should you ever need me, little ones. I will only be a thought away, and though I may not be here physically my spirit will be on the wind to wipe away your frightened tears. Rin, Shippou you are my children. Do not let anyone tell you different. I may not have given birth to you, but you were meant to be mine. I…' a sob could be heard 'I love you so much this is breaking my heart. I will miss your little kisses and hugs. Most of all I will miss you. Please grow up strong and know that I will always be watching from the stars above.'
Her voice shook with sorrow, but she continued 'Inuyasha. I am sorry I had to leave. I promised you I would stay by your side, but it seems that is not what the gods had wanted. It seems I have lost you for the second time, my friend. You are truly a great demon. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not. You are strong, and you have the greatest courage I have ever seen. You were my protector but most of all you were my friend. I will miss you dearly. I love you Inuyasha.' Silver bangs covered the hanyou's eyes hiding any emotion the demon was experiencing. The Taiyoukai could smell the tears that were pouring out of him. He heard the half-demon speak softly underneath his breath "I love you too, my friend."
More sobs ran off like waves from the small contraption, and the sad priestess continued. Apparently, she was not done 'And last but not least to my warrior. I love you, and I am sorry that I was never able to tell you in person. I wish I would have known that I would not be able to tell you or I would have told you sooner. I wish we could have had that future I had always dreamed about, but it seems we are not meant to be. Please my taiyoukai take care of my babies. They are my heart do be careful with them. I love you my Inuyoukai, never forget that.'
She paused to get her wits together 'Will you do me a favor and make sure Inuyasha tells my family that I love them, and I am truly sorry that I had to go. Tell my mama that she was the best mother ever, and that she needs not to worry for I am with daddy now, and I will not be alone. '
She took another deep breath and forged on 'Now onto the reason for my making of this recording. These are my last will and testament of this Higurashi Kagome. Please regard what is expressed to you. This is a song I wrote after the incident with the witch. I realized how short life could really be and that maybe I needed to let others know that and the only way I could express this was with this song.' They heard the strings of a guitar begin, and a strange melody hit their ears.
'If I die young bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. oh oh oh oh. Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no ain't even grey, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife of a short life, well I've had just enough time'
Yes, the wench may have had enough time, but he had not. How could she leave him? How could she precariously write a song about her dying? What did she expect him to do? How was she expecting him to act? His clawed hands clenched in and out. How could she? Damn the little human, Damn her!
'If I die young bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song. The sharp knife of a short life, well I've had just enough time'
His breathing became ragged with the rage that flowed throughout his body. How could she? What had she been thinking when she rushed at the evil Hanyou? His mind flashed back to the terrible memory.
Flashback
He couldn't believe his eyes as he watched the love of his life rushed at the malicious hanyou and embedded the glowing arrow deep into the Hanyou's chest. The Miko poured all of her power into the piece of wood. The glow was unbearable for the onlookers to watch without shielding their eyes.
It seemed as if the world had stopped. His feet froze in their place and refused to move from the spot. His golden eyes watch in horror as one of Naraku's appendages ripped through the priestess's stomach. "No!" His voice echoed off the bloody battle field, and he felt panic for the first time in his existence.
He watched as the evil hanyou smiled down at the priestess even though his body withered with pain. He heard the cruel words that came out of the horrendous hanyou "It seems miko you will not see the outcome of this battle. Say goodbye you little bitch."
The little human refused to let go, and her body also shuddered with pain. Her cobalt eyes narrowed to slivers at the red-eyed hanyou.
The silver-haired demon could hear her whisper in the ear of the bastard. No fear was evident in her voice. He could tell she was not afraid of what the hanyou had said. "You will no longer hurt others." Her breathing was labored from the blood rushing to her lungs "You will be following me soon, you son of a bitch." The arrow blazed, and blood trickled down her chin. Her voice was filled with fury "Go to hell you scum. The gods are waiting." An agonizing scream ripped through the air, and Naraku glowed brightly. The Hanyou's body dissolved into nothingness and left the priestess to fall harshly to the ground.
The wind whipped through his silver hair as he found his legs moving without his control. Within seconds, she was in his arms. Her breathing was very strained, and her blue eyes were glazing over with death. His deep voice cracked with emotion "M…miko?" Her eyes struggled to meet his honey ones. However, when they did her mouth twitched into a small content smile, and her heart skipped its last struggling beat. The life flickered out of the blue eyes, leaving just an empty shell. The Inuyoukai's head flew back and let out a heart-wrenching howl 'NO!'
End flashback
He closed his eyes stopping the tears that threatened to slide down his pale cheeks. How could she risk her life for theirs? How could she think that he could not protect her? For god's sake, he was the Lord of the west. Of course, he could protect her. She had not needed to sacrifice herself to save theirs? How could she leave him like that? How dare she leave him?
'And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom. I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger'
His breathe sucked in sharply. Yes, the ring, he had forgotten about The Jade ring that was still on her finger even after the terrible battle with the evil hanyou. Somehow, It had remained in its place and even with it coated with blood it had not budged. Gods He had been the one to get it for her, though he had not told her. No, He had hidden it in her pack when she had gone out with the demon slayer to bathe. The miko had found the small package and squealed with joy. The ring had been one that she had been eyeing in the village market. He knew it would be the perfect gift for her, and he had been right. The women hadn't taken it off since. Somehow, she knew that it was from him, only him and knew his silent promise to her, even if she had not known exactly what that promise was.
'I've never known the lovin' of a man But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand. There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever'
Maybe… she had known after all what the small token had meant. Maybe that is why she had never taken it off. She had known how much he loved her but his pride was too big for him to admit it. He had been foolish. Hell he had been stupid. He should have told her so. Now it was far too late to utter those words. Far too late to say I love you.
'Who would have thought forever could be severed by The sharp knife of a short life, well I've had just enough time'
It was far from enough time. Their hands were filled with wasted minutes and untold hours none of which they could get back or ever see.
'So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls. What I never did is done. A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'. Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
He hated the gods right now. He hated them for playing with their lives like it was some twisted game for their sick pleasure. His claws cut into his palms. His anger boiled underneath the quiet surface. How could they do that to them, to her? Was her life not precious enough for her to keep? Was he not good enough to have her in his life? Were they punishing him for the terrible acts he had committed from his ignorance? If they were, they could have taken him and not the one human which had reached into his heart and changed his very way of thinking. The miko had done what Rin could not, and she had paid the price for trying to love what obvious the gods did not anyone to. Why did they hate them so? Why?
'If I die young bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song oh oh. The ballad of a dove. Go with peace and love. Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket. Save them for a time when you're really gonna need 'em oh The sharp knife of a short life, well I've had just enough time. So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls'
The strumming of the guitar faded, and their beloved friend spoke once more. 'Goodbye my friends I will miss you dearly but do not fear I will watch you always. I love you my warrior. I will be waiting for you when your time comes. Do not forget that. Adieu.'
The player stopped playing, and his golden eyes slid to the lifeless love than to the violet eyes of the monk. The monk nodded his head and released the demon slayer. He whispered softly in her ear, and she nodded sadly. Her brown eyes traveled to her best friend. She swiftly recoiled and hurried out of the hut.
The Inuyoukai stood up and handed his little brother the reluctant child. His hands came up and cupped the child's face "I need to go, but I will be back okay Kit." The Fox demon nodded his little head, the tears still rolling down his face "You promise." Clawed fingers wiped away the tears "Forever and Always, Kit." The kit leaned into his hand and closed his green eyes. The dog demon removed his hands and stepped away. The taiyoukai watched the half-demon cradle the kit gently to his chest and let him cry into his kosode. The brat's eyes were sad, but he did not shed another tear. Now the demon lord realized that the hanyou was doing what he had to for his pack. Maybe the half-breed was not a dumb as he thought he was. The taiyoukai's eyes moved to his ward that was looking up at him sadly. Her voice was small, but she understood what he had to do "Forever and always, papa." He nodded his head, and he found his eyes moving back to the immobile Miko. He would do this for her. He would do this for the women he loved with all of his heart. He made his way out of the hut and set out on his own mission.
The sky was turning an array of beautiful colors of the first morning light hit the horizon. They all stood by the river's bank giving the Miko that had touched them all, the funeral she had wished.
They hadn't had any satin that the miko had spoken of but Sango had found soft silk at one of the village vendors. They had dressed the young Miko in a beautiful white silk Kimono. Her raven locks had been stylishly put up, and a pearled comb was placed within it. The Inuyoukai had searched the countryside for as many roses that he could find. They were now layered underneath the everlastingly priestess. She was on a wooden platform several inches from the river bank. This had been her wish and for the love of the gods, he was going to give it to her.
The monk spoke some words, but the taiyoukai was not listening. He was swallowing the amount of emotions that was weighing heavy on him. He already missed her. He missed her laugh. He missed the way she would smile at him, the way her eyes light up when she thought something was funny. Hell he even missed her consistent chatter. His heart constricted tightly in his chest. The wench had been special, and the gods had robbed the world of this most special human. They had robbed him of the family he could have had with her. Be damned he no longer cared if their child had been hanyou as long as they were theirs. He had not cared. Damn the gods they had robbed them of both of their futures.
His honey eyes followed his brother's companions, realizing that the monk was done with the small service and was now ready to push the raft into the water. He stood frozen where his feet were planted. This would be the last time he would see her face. The last time he would see his love. He etched this image into his brain. He would never forget how beautiful she looked as she rested forever on her bed of roses. His golden eyes watched her friends push his love into the moving water. She silently moved with the current taking her down the water's path and out toward the sea.
He hadn't realized he had moved until he felt the wind whistle past his ears. He was running next to the bank following her down the river's path. The water was becoming very swift and was taking the priestess closer toward the watery grave that she had wished.
The Inuyoukai watched as the water lapped at her cold pale skin and began to scatter the rose petals on the wooden platform. The demon continued to run along the bank not stopping even as her companions called out his name. He had to keep up with her. He had to make sure she was okay. He owed his love that much. If it had not been for him, she would be alive. She would be here and not floating on the river's current.
His legs carried him all the way to the end of the river. He skidded to a halt at the bank where the river met the sea. His body shook as he watched the women he loved float out to her watery tomb. Wave after wave bombarded the deceased Miko until both the board, and the priestess disappeared underneath the waters depths. Rose petals floated on the surface and caught on the waves coming back to the demon's feet. He bent down and tenderly picked up a petal. Tears clouded his honey eyes once again but this time he let them slid down his face. He did not care if the other's see him at his weakest. He did not care if his enemy struck him dead that moment. He would very much like to accompany the little human to the underworld. The petal blurred as the tears blinded him with a load grief. He had never felt this much sadness in his life. How could he live without her? How was he going to wake in the morning and not think of what could have been? He felt his knees buckled underneath his weight, and he came crashing down on the sand. His wounded heart screamed with loss. A whimper escaped the always strong demon lord, and his voice was heartrending as he said the words, he should have said to his Miko when she was alive. "I love you too, Kagome. Forever and always, my little Miko." His heart was with the petite human underneath the inky blackness. He would never love again. His words were ironclad. No one else would stand beside him. No one would take her place. His head flew back, and a grief-stricken howl ruptured out of the stricken Taiyoukai. No one could replace his little human, no one.
8- Fin -8
*Mamushi (Japan Pit Viper)