The Black Diamond glided through the heavy seas, approaching her opponent. The Eye of Sauron was a big three decker ship of the line, bristling with over a hundred heavy cannons and other armaments. Contained within the crow's nest of her highest mast, the eye of Sauron himself blazed, waiting for the chance to get his precious ring back.
Captain RoO manned the wheel of the Diamond, calling for action stations as the cannons were run out through the port and starboard gunwales. Crewman ran around to their stations, including the RoO's personal bodyguard, swordwielders Anno and Walter. RoO stared intensley at the captain of the Sauron, the evil half breed who desired to kidnap Miss Kagome for his own nefarious purposes. His name was...Inuyasha.
As the two ships were about to pass neck and neck and exchange broadsides, a strong gust of wind ripped through one of the sails onboard the Sauron. The sail swept across the Eye of Sauron and caught fire from the burning flames within. Soon, the entire sail and mast system of the Sauron was ablaze. As the call for abandon ship swept through, the Diamond fired a full broadside into the Sauron, damaging many of it's cannons and killing a horde of demons and urukhai orcs alike. The remaining ship's complement went to the boarding ropes and launched a boarding action against the Diamond.
The demons and orcs began to tear through the mostly human complement of the Diamond. Walter and Anno went to work on those attack the bridge and afterdecks, cutting down hundreds of orcs and ogre demons with their deadly swords. RoO unsheathed her own cutlass, a curved sword with a fluffly pink dinosaur toy tied to the end of the hilt, and waded into battle herself.
"Captain RoO, will you mate us?" asked Kagome as she fought side by side with Sesshomaru.
"Very well then. Sesshomaru, do you take Kagome to be your mate?" asked RoO with raised eyebrows.
Sesshomaru, after killing one hundred urukhai orcs with the dragon strike, turned to RoO and said, "Yes".
"And Kagome, do you take Sesshomaru to be your mate?" asked RoO as she swung her blade back and forth, parrying attacks from an ogre demon to her left and an urukhai orc to her right.
"I do," answered Kagome.
"Very well then, by the odd power vested in me as captain, I now declare ye mates. Sesshomaru, you may now bite her neck before carrying her downstairs and fucking her brains out," declared RoO, turning her attention to kill her two opponents.
Momo, Smittee, and Sugar, RoO's pet monkey, dressed up in a fluffly pink dinosaur costume that made his own fur itch madly, sighed as they watched Sesshomaru biting Kagome's neck from the hatchway. Then, the three of them stood aside as Sesshomaru ran down the hatchway, carrying a Kagome, both of them shedding clothes in a hurry.
At about this time, the Sauron had sunken deep enough into the water that the Eye of Sauron came into contact with the water and fizzled out into nothingness as the flames were squenched by the salt water.
On an island five hundred miles away, Naraku was entertaining Kagura when he felt the death of the Eye of Sauron. Having hidden his heart inside of the eye, Naraku now also died, dissolving into ash and dissipating into the wind, leaving Kagura free to leave the island and do whatever she wanted. She was Free!
With the last of the demons and orcs dying rapidly, the remaining crew members of the Diamond circled the sole survivor of the enemy crew left...captain Inuyasha. He gulped, before feebly asking, "Parlay?"
Later, Kagome smirked, dressed only in a bathrob, standing next to Sesshomaru, similarly clothed, watching a naked and chained Inuyasha being forced to scrub the deck of blood, demon guts, and orc body parts. His task was made all the harder by RoO standing on top of him, doing a survey of the top of her ship while Inuyasha ran around it with the sponge.
Momo and Smittee sighed from behind the couple.
Life sure was interesting as a pirate.
The End
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A/N: As always, I don't own Inuyasha, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, or that much else, for that matter. Reviews are appreciated though.