Addictions by I Agree

Addictions

She had been still for what seemed like ages, her eyes locked on his, her hands holding the back of a chair tightly. Her body had started shaking only moments before, and in the silence he could hear her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, were wide with shock, boring into his, waiting for him. Waiting for him to take the words back. To change them.

He wouldn't. He couldn't. If he took them back now the steps he had taken before would mean nothing. He needed to do this.

Kagome suddenly shook her head, her eyes dropping to the ground for a second before she looked up again. He could see tears begin to form, but, he knew, she wouldn't cry. Not until everything was settled.

She whispered, "Say again?"

His jaw clenched, "I thought I made myself-"

"Clear." She interrupted forcefully, her face contorted slightly with suppressed anguish, "I know. You're always clear. But I think that little comment of yours was sudden enough to warrant a second go, huh?"

Gold eyes narrowed and he could feel his temper rising. Just as it always did with her. Only her.

"I said I don't want to see you anymore. I don't need you."

She stared at him again, not saying a word. She was trying to understand if what she heard was true, if she wasn't hearing it wrong. He knew she was. What sane woman wouldn't try after a sixteen year long relationship? A good relationship even he couldn't find fault in.

Kagome was a wonderful woman, and he loved her dearly. He valued her more than his own life. She complimented him in ways he couldn't have imagined before he had met her. Bright and vibrant, she brought him out of his stoic shell where many had failed. He tempered her outlandishness with his rationality. He had found a perfect match after centuries of searching and realized, the moment he'd looked into her eyes, he hadn't been alive until she came. He would do anything for her; lie, cheat, kill. Hell, he would even die for her. He could think of nothing he wouldn't do for her.

It terrified him.

This woman was a drug. His drug. One that made him do insane things, the unthinkable. Before her, he had perfect control, the perfect life. He'd been perfectly content.

When she came, she changed everything.

He was angry more often, couldn't concentrate on his work as well as he used to. At times he behaved like a child, and even more like an amorous pup. He found himself not caring about his work or career, instead wanting to be with her. She had mucked up his life, though a pleasurable journey it had been. It was time to say good-bye and get his life back on track. He loved her, but she was just too dangerous.

Kagome took a shaking breath, and approached him. He watched with some trepidation as a tear slid down her cheek, wanting desperately to wipe it away. No, he would be strong in this.

It was her hands that reached up instead, and tenderly she held his face in her palms. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his. The touch was brief, but he could taste the tears overwhelming her usual heady flavor.

She backed off a bit, gazing up at him with sad eyes, "I don't believe you."

Gold eyes widened, but before he could retort, she continued.

"Our relationship has never been based on need, only want and how much we care for each other. There's passion between us, I've never had to seek anyone besides you. We fight, yes, but that's healthy. And I know, I know you love me." Her thumb wiped beneath his eye and she came away with a tear he hadn't known he was crying. "I don't believe you want me gone."

"I-"

"But I know there's a reason for this." She continued, wiping away more of his tears. "I know something has to be wrong for you to say something so horrid. So..."

Kagome turned away, picking up her purse and keys from the table. She walked to the door, pausing for a moment. "I'll leave, and I'll wait."

She left, taking a certain weight left his shoulders.

Only to have a heavier feeling appear in her wake.

With a shaking gasp, Sesshou-Maru dropped down into a dining chair. His chest was constricted, his heart beating erratically. Almost nervously a hand passed through his hair before he leaned down, bracing his arms on his knees.

She was gone and he already felt it. He already needed her now, already missed her. This was going to be impossible. He couldn't fight this.

He could never fight his drug.

End

---IA---

A.N. Kinda... darker? Than my other fics... and an open ending. You decide if he goes back to her or not.

BTW... I am not bashing people with addictions! This is just the product of me listening to Pink's new CD and watching Intervention...

Please Regard Me Kindly,

I Agree