If You're Lonely, Wake Me by elevenharbor
If You're Lonely, Wake Me
A/N: My first fic submission for the SessKag Prompt Raffle. My prompt (Snow) was submitted by Discord (thank you for the submission!)
This was supposed to be a short one-shot, but it went haywire. Tried to make a little fun game out of it (coz I love easter eggs in stories). Guess all I'll say is pay attention to phrases and interactions. Anyway, I hope it's okay ^^;
Also, this fic was inspired by Bleacher’s song called “Wake Me” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAsZ4J_l2Ug)
Lastly, I'm eternally grateful to my lovely and brilliant beta, Mynameishuman.
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“With every falling flake, A unique spark of interest falls from Heaven.” - P. Miller
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I.
Sunlight seeped its way through the cracks of the tall curtains, its bright rays splaying across bare arms and silken, gray sheets.
Blankets rustled, and beds creaked softly as the silhouette of two bodies moved about in the darkened room.
Outside, birds chirped their morning songs, signaling the beginning of a new day. Bits of white, powdery snow sparkled, and swirled in its hypnotic dance in the wind.
The distant sound of stomping steps roused Kagome from the tendrils of sleep. Not ready to get up and face the world just yet, she rolled over to wrap her arms around the torso next to her.
“Five more minutes,” she grumbled, burrowing her face against the warmth. “Too early.”
Sighing contently, Kagome melted into the luxurious silken sheets against her ivory skin, the softness of the most comfortable beds she’d ever laid on, and the warm body that curled around hers, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Warm hands caressed their way down slowly from her neck, trailing down her bare arms, until finally settling on her waist, pulling her closer. The heated touch felt like molten lava, slowly trickling down her sensitive skin.
Kagome was about to fall back into the lull of sleep when she both heard and felt the rumble of the deep, husky voice from the bare chest she was pressed against.
“It is eight in the morning. Hardly early.”
That voice. It sounded oddly familiar.
Inuyasha?
“Better kiss your sleep goodbye. Our daughter will be here momentarily.” The smooth voice trailed off, as velvety lips brushed against the shell of her ear before nipping lightly. The sensation from the contact sent an electric wave of goosebumps down her spine.
No. Not Inuyasha.
She was definitely awake now.
Yet one word caught her attention, jumpstarting her foggy mind.
Daughter? What daughter?
Cracking her eyes open, she lifted her head past the very well-defined pectorals to survey the darkened room. Glancing at the snow-covered evergreen trees on the other side of the large, double pane windows, intuition told her she wasn’t in the Feudal Era anymore.
“Where am I?” She asked, barely above a whisper—her voice hoarse, and still thick with sleep.
The man chuckled, a deep but lighthearted laugh. “In bed. In my arms. In our home. Which do you prefer?”
Tilting her head up, Kagome’s azure eyes widened imperceptibly. She did not expect the warmest honey golden eyes that stared back at her with glowing intensity.
“Um… Hi?”
His reply was a tender kiss on her forehead.
The shadows cast by the curtains and the white-silver fluff over her head obstructed Kagome’s view of his entire face. She thought she saw a pair of magenta stripes peek out on either side of his cheeks, but it was hard to tell, especially in the sparsely lit space.
“Here she comes.”
Who’s coming?
Kagome blinked in bewilderment. She didn’t even know whose bed she slept on, and whose person she was shamelessly wrapped around, like a thread on a spool.
And now a third party was about to join in on their snuggle session.
The creaking of the door stole her attention away from figuring out the identity of her cuddle-buddy. The pitter-patter of little feet against the hardwood floor echoed throughout the expanse of the humongous bedroom. Sunlight bathed the room as the curtains were pulled back, illuminating the darkened space.
Kagome whimpered before burying her nose against the smooth, bare chest once more, temporarily shielding her eyes from the sudden intrusion.
“Mommy! Daddy!” The squeal of a tiny voice became louder by the second, as a weight settled over Kagome and her unnamed, well-built, and very naked cuddle partner. “It’s snowing! It’s snowing! It’s so pretty!”
“Good morning, Astra. Did you sleep well?”
“Hi, Daddy! I had the best dream ever! I built a snow fortress with another girl, and a boy. The boy had a fluffy tail too, just like you!” Astra babbled happily, before wiggling upward to wrap her short arms around his neck in an embrace. “But it’s not as nice, and white as yours, though. His was light yellow, and poofy.”
Kagome repositioned herself to prevent being asphyxiated by the weight shift. Not that the little girl was heavy, but she literally plopped on Kagome’s ribcage before worming her way up.
So if this mystery guy is the dad, Kagome deduced, her brows furrowing. Then that means…
“Is mommy still sleeping?”
A warm little hand stroked her cheek. Turning her head and squinting, Kagome was met with a cherubic face, framed by a gunmetal-colored bob and bangs that closely resembled hers. A streak of white hair was tucked to one side, behind a rounded ear.
But what struck Kagome most were her large, heterochromatic eyes—one iris as blue as the ocean, the other as golden as the sun. It was as unique as it was beautiful.
“She is waking. Be gentle with her.”
The small hand that rested on her face found its way to her shoulder, shaking her lightly. “Mommy, wake up! You promised we would make the best snowman in the history of all snowmen!”
Kagome felt her pulse quicken. She was in a stranger’s bed in a foreign place, with a daughter she had no recollection of ever birthing, let alone conceiving.
On top of it all, she had promises to fulfill, ones that she didn’t remember making.
“I—“
She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. The beginnings of a panic attack gripped her tightly.
Golden eyes peered down at her trembling form, etched with concern. “Are you well, Kagome?”
“Kagome! Kagome!”
Another voice filtered in through her stream of consciousness. She felt the weight of another hand on her shoulder, shaking her much more vigorously this time.
Sapphire eyes shifted about, trying to locate the source of the faint, third voice.
What is happening?
“Kagome! Wake up!”
Kagome shot out of her sleeping bag at once, almost colliding head-on with Inuyasha. Wide-eyed and panting, she clutched the blanket to her chest. Disbelief, confusion, and panic plastered itself across her sweat-stricken face.
“Oi! What the fuck?!” Inuyasha snarled, rubbing his forehead as he backed away. He had barely dodged Kagome’s sudden spring up to a sitting position. “And here I thought you were having a nightmare!”
“Inuyasha,” her voice cracked, her throat dry from gasping for breath. “I… Where am I? What happened?”
“You’re in Kaede’s hut. Where else would you be?” Inuyasha replied, cocking his head to the side. “You were mumbling. Something about being too early. Then you started squirming.”
So it was just a dream, after all.
Relief and disappointment washed over her like a bucket of cold water on her flushed face. She was nowhere near ready for child-rearing. Barely out of high school, Kagome didn’t think she could keep another being alive at this point in her life.
I don’t even have a boyfriend, she thought, forlornly. I’ve never even been kissed by anyone.
Confusion and panic attack aside, she had to admit that she felt so loved in the dream. And she wanted more of it.
Inuyasha crouched down beside her. “Hey. You alright?” Placing one hand on her forehead while touching his own with the other, Inuyasha checked to see whether she was developing a fever. “You don’t feel warm to me.”
Bleary-eyed and dazed, Kagome stared at Inuyasha as she analyzed the distinct yellow patterns of his iris while comparing it to the liquid honey eyes in her dream. Her memory of it all was well on its way to fading as the minutes ticked.
“No, not quite like it,” she muttered absently. Her literal dream guy’s golden eyes were bright, like the petals of marigold. Inuyasha’s eyes, while intense in their own right, were more yellow with orangey-brown notes, like embers of a fire.
“Are ya gonna keep starin’ at me?” Inuyasha pointed out, breaking her trance.
“Sorry,” Kagome sighed, before stretching her limbs and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Yeah, I’m up. What a strange dream.”
“Keh. Maybe you hit your head or something.” Inuyasha grumbled, before standing up to make his way across the room.
Kagome watched his retreating back with a small smile, though it never reached her muted eyes. Having spent so much time with him for the better part of a year, she learned to distinguish between his words and his body language. Despite appearing brash, the easing of his tense shoulders told an entirely different story: He was relieved she was okay.
She was glad that he still cared, even if it was just as a friend.
“Looks like it’s about to snow heavy later. We’re stayin’ another day,” Inuyasha said over his shoulder. “But we’re leavin' early the next morning, so don’t get too comfortable.” He warned, before exiting Kaede’s hut.
Glancing up at the open window, Kagome watched as the first few flakes descended peacefully from the swirling gray skies above.
Maybe it was just by coincidence that her dream also involved snow, somehow.
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II.
“It’s snowing! It’s snowing!” Rin cried from the windowsill, her luminous brown eyes shining with excitement. “Come, Kagome-sama! It’s so pretty!” She motioned for Kagome to join her.
Kagome looked up from counting supplies on the other side of Kaede’s hut. Where have I heard that before?
A distant memory of a little girl shrieking the same phrase flashed through Kagome’s mind for a split second, but it disappeared just as fast as it had come. Kagome dismissed the passing thought.
Hmm… weird.
Instead, Kagome smiled at the jubilant little girl ahead. Her elation over the simplest things was infectious, including her delight at one of Mother Nature’s greatest showcases. Propped up on several stacked beddings, Rin squealed happily as the wind carried bits of feather-light snow through the slatted windows.
Shifting her attention from her current task, Kagome stretched her arms before sauntering over to where Rin stood. Both watched the fat snowflakes fall softly, adding on to the growing blanket of white that covered the ground.
Since joining forces with Sesshōmaru to take down Naraku several weeks ago, Kagome had taken charge of mothering his human ward, which she did not mind at all. Though shy at first, Rin was a bright, sweet girl who saw the world through the eyes of innocence. Her sunny disposition was the soothing salve that coated the angry burn from all the death and destruction that lingered all around them, courtesy of Naraku and his underlings.
Despite being cordial with everyone, Rin instantly gravitated toward her and Shippo out of all the others. Kagome was glad that the two youngsters had each other for company, instead of constantly being surrounded by adults. The two had been near inseparable ever since.
Speaking of the kitsune…“Hey, where did Shippo go?”
Rin pointed to the squealing pink ball rolling around with glee in the snow.
Kagome chortled at the sight.
“Come on, Rin! It’s so nice out here!” Shippo yelled, his voice echoing in the distance.
“Kagome-sama! Can Rin go outside?”
Kagome knew Rin had been looking forward to the next snowstorm, ever since she enamored her and Shippo with bedtime stories about making a snowman and snow angels.
“Of course,” she happily replied, ruffling her side ponytail. “Now’s the best time to go play.”
With Kagome’s blessing, Rin lowered herself to the floor and hurriedly put away the bedding she used as a makeshift platform. As she zoomed past her to join Shippo, Kagome suddenly remembered something she had packed for this occasion. Armed with the recent memory of Rin’s shivering face and the subsequent cold following the last time she played in the snow, Kagome had asked for her mama’s help in locating her old winter gear during her last trip home.
“Wait, Rin!” Kagome called out, while rummaging through her enormous yellow backpack nearby. “I have something for you…Here!” She exclaimed, as she fished out a plastic bag containing a matching pair of gloves, snow boots, and a pink hat with a white pom-pom sewed on its end. “These used to be mine, when I was your age. I think they’ll fit you!”
Rin rushed over to where Kagome sat and picked up a boot. Wide-eyed and bemused, she inspected the footwear and other accoutrements that Kagome laid out.
“Will it protect Rin’s feet from getting cold, like Sesshōmaru-sama’s?” Her small hand found their way to the slider-like device that connected the two rows of metallic teeth, tugging it up and down.
“Absolutely! You can play for hours outside with these snow boots on,” said Kagome. She slipped on a pair of pink fuzzy socks on her little feet, before fitting on the boots and zipping them closed. “I bet you can even chase Shippo and catch him too,” she whispered, winking at her.
Rin grinned mischievously as an idea sprouted before nodding her head in agreement.
With a few tucks and tugs here and there, Kagome finished suiting Rin up to face the wintry weather outside. She wrapped her scarf around Rin’s neck, making sure it was secure enough to withstand all the running and rolling around.
“All done! This should keep you nice and toasty!”
Rin flexed her boot-clad feet and tapped the tip against the floor, giggling as the pink boots thumped with each step.
“Thank you, Kagome-sama!” said Rin, a bright smile plastered across her rounded face. “You’re so nice to Rin, just like Sesshōmaru-sama!” she exclaimed, showing off her toothy grin.
“It’s my pleasure, Rin.” Kagome replied, matching her grin with a brilliant smile of her own. “Now go get that sly little fox out there!”
Pulling her in for a quick hug while tickling her side, Kagome earned a round of laughter from Sesshōmaru’s adopted daughter before squirming away.
“Kagome-sama?”
“Yes, Rin?”
Rin lifted her arms to her face, twisting and turning her wrists as she inspected the pink gloves that covered her hands. “Do you think Sesshōmaru-sama will like Rin’s outfit?”
Kagome pondered her question for a moment. What would Sesshōmaru say? She had practically hijacked caring for his ward since joining them without consulting him for his opinion. She figured he was aware of her influence on the little girl, and since he had not uttered a word of objection, she took his silence as a sign of approval.
“Well, I don’t see why he wouldn’t, especially since it’ll keep you warm.” She replied, earnestly. She hoped her assumption about the indecipherable daiyoukai’s implied consent was correct.
Satisfied with the answer, Rin skipped her way to the door, the pompom on her hat bouncing with her movements. She was about to cross over the threshold, when she suddenly turned around to face Kagome. Brows crinkling with indecisiveness, Rin glanced at the floor while fidgeting with the hem of her scarf, apprehension clearly etched on her normally cheerful face.
“Um, Kagome-sama…Rin has one more question.”
Noticing the little girl’s hesitation by the door, Kagome approached her and squatted down, facing her at eye-level. “Something wrong, Rin?”
“Rin knows Kagome-sama has a lot to do this afternoon, but…”
“What is it, Rin?” Kagome coaxed, gently placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “You can ask me anything.”
Finally looking up to meet Kagome’s softened gaze, Rin gathered up her courage to continue. “Would Kagome-sama show Rin and Shippo how to make a-a ‘snowman’, and a ‘snow angel’? Rin knows Kagome-sama has been sad lately, so maybe this can make Kagome-sama happy, too.”
Kagome blinked at Rin’s statement, surprised that she had figured her out so easily. Young as she was, Rin was very perceptive with her surroundings. Despite the happy façade she put on to keep spirits high, Kagome had been feeling burnt out by the lack of progress, and had grown weary of the disconnect between her and Inuyasha, as of late.
Although Inuyasha had his breakthrough moments, Kagome was getting tired of being strung around his finger, dropping everything at his beck and call, and getting crumbs of affection in return.
Funny how it took one astute comment by Sesshōmaru to point out this blaring fact.
It was nothing more than a passing comment, she assumed, but it left a lasting impression; a bitter taste in her mouth.
Faced with the realization that her unrequited love had its limits, Kagome had to come to terms with the fact that Inuyasha would most likely never see her in the same light that she saw him. She prayed to the gods for a sign that she would be okay, that maybe someone out there would eventually love her for who she was, and not what she represented.
A tug on her sleeve snapped Kagome out of her perseverating thoughts, reminding her to answer Rin’s question. Looking down at the quiet little girl, she melted like hanging icicles on a warm, spring day. Rin’s bright, doe-eyed, pleading expression tugged at her heartstrings. How could she say no?
Taking Rin’s small hand in hers, Kagome straightened up and booped Rin’s button nose with her other pointer finger, before grabbing her coat. “I would be delighted to,” she smiled as she slipped her boots and coat on.
Rin’s cherubic face lit up like the brightest star in the night sky. “Really!?”
“Yes, really. Let’s make the best snowman in the history of all snowmen!”
A slight tremble went through Kagome as the last syllable left her tongue. She didn’t know what compelled her to say that particular phrase, nor could she figure out why she felt a strong case of déjà vu just then.
But she hadn’t been allowed to delve deeper as she was practically dragged out of Kaede’s hut by an all too eager Rin. “Thank you, Kagome-sama!”
Chalking it up to the mounting stress of shard hunting and her conflicted emotions, Kagome ignored the strange sensation as she followed Rin’s lead.
Perhaps she needed to unwind and let herself be a kid again, even if it was just for a few minutes.
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III.
The snow continued to fall in clumps, like a million little cotton balls tumbling down from the gray skies above. The air was crisp, sharp, and clean, even in the absence of the howling wind.
Except for the children’s occasional squeals and peals of laughter, the atmosphere was noiseless—not exactly silence, but more like the antithesis of sound. It had a calming effect on Kagome like no other.
As promised, Kagome joined Rin and Shippo earlier on—making snow angels, throwing snowballs, and gathering supplies to create a sizable snowman—complete with yellow berries for eyes, a carrot nose, two triangle-shaped white mounds atop its head, branchy arms, a red and yellow sash around its midsection, and fangs made of icicles that Shippo fetched from the rafters of Kaede’s hut. Rin fondly called it a Snowmaru-sama after her lord and protector. Shippo named it Snow-yasha; a thoughtful ode to a certain dog-eared hanyou of the group.
Fun as it had been, Kagome simply could not keep up with the boundless energy that Rin and Shippo possessed. Exhausted from what felt like a full-body workout, complete with cardio from chasing the two youngsters in a game of snowball tag, Kagome had told them she would rest for now, but she would still be around to watch.
Though initially saddened that play time with their favorite miko had ended, she had suggested they build a snow fortress of sorts, immediately lifting their spirits.
And so Kagome sat on the lip of Bone Eater’s well, watching contently as Rin and Shippo threw snowballs at each other near their unfinished snow fortress, both lost in the joy of childhood’s simplest pleasures. Playing in the snow for hours had been a staple activity for her and Souta when they were younger. It was definitely one of her fonder, and most cherished childhood memories.
The nostalgia brought a bittersweet smile to her face. She missed her family on the other side of the well, especially during this time. The winter months meant snow days, which led to many hours spent outside the shrine grounds. Kagome and Souta would then be rewarded with mama’s signature drink—her deliciously decadent hot chocolate—the cherry on top to a perfect day.
She had only learned to make the hot chocolate recently, and to her surprise, it came out surprisingly good. Fortunately for Rin and Shippo, Kagome brought the necessary supplies to recreate the drink, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it with her family this time. She had planned to surprise the two kids later with her version of the hot chocolate whenever they were ready to settle down from their activities.
So lost in the reverie of melted chocolate bliss on a cold winter day, Kagome missed the faint crunch of boots as it pressed down on the snow with each step.
“What is my ward wearing?” A deep, baritone voice sliced through the silence.
Startled by the intrusion in the quietness of the space, Kagome visibly flinched before glancing up at the demon lord who towered over her slouched form.
“Hello to you too, Sesshōmaru.” She huffed off-handedly, straightening herself up and puffing her chest. “My name’s Kagome, by the way. Ka-go-me.”
He frowned, unamused by her greeting. “Miko, answer my question.”
“Impossible dog demons.” She muttered under her breath, knowing full well that he was able to hear every word.
“Miko.” The weariness in his voice suggested his patience was wearing thin.
“Alright, alright!” She yelled in exasperation before clamping her mouth shut, realizing his heightened hearing. Recognizing her folly, Kagome lowered her voice down to an agitated whisper. “I gave Rin my old winter gear, meant to keep her warm while being out in the snow. The boots on her feet are insulated and waterproof, so her toes won’t get frostbite. The gloves protect her hands so she can form snowballs without her fingers freezing over. The hat and scarf should keep heat from escaping her little body so she doesn’t get wracked with another nasty cold.” She laid out in rapid succession, before taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully. “Does that answer your question?”
Unblinking, Sesshōmaru narrowed his eyes as he stared at her impassively. He kept his emotions locked away behind his impenetrable fort. Kagome wondered if her snippy remark pissed him off royally, but his stoicism was unbreachable. He was either contemplating maiming her right there and then, or strategizing ways to kill her later when no one was watching, for all she knew.
“Ah, I was just kidding about you being impossible. I just…I would hope you’d know my name by now, considering we’re comrades…or something like that.” The words spilled out of her sputtering mouth uncontrollably; her growing unease fueled by the growing tenseness on his face.
“Are we, now?”
Finally, he speaks! Kagome mentally chided, a momentary respite from her rising anxiety.
“Okay, not comrades. Allies.” Kagome corrected, hoping that answer was satisfactory enough. “I’m also the only person you talk to since joining forces, and I’ve been looking after Rin. Isn’t it about high time we get to first-name basis?”
Another pregnant pause filled the space between them as Kagome waited for his answer.
“Very well, Ka-go-me,” the demon lord finally replied, enunciating each syllable slowly. “You have my gratitude, for ensuring Rin’s well-being in my absence.”
She rolled her eyes, but remained quiet as she stood up and dusted off the snow from her pants. That was the most half-assed ‘thank you’ she’d heard in a while, but coming from the emotionally constipated demon lord, she took what she could get. She figured he wasn’t fond of giving thanks to anyone, let alone a human, so that little extension of the proverbial olive branch must’ve been quite a feat for him.
But as she replayed his voice saying her name in her head, Kagome found her ire dissipating into thin air. She would probably take this tidbit to her grave, but hearing her name roll off Sesshōmaru’s tongue so smoothly sent a tingle to her fluttering heart. Somehow it made her feel a certain way—one she couldn’t put a name to. Was it giddiness? Elation? Attraction?
No. Don’t go there. Shaking her head at the last thought, Kagome willed her focus to shift somewhere else, as she fought to suppress the rising blush that crept up her cheeks. Picking up a clump of snow from the ground, Kagome brought it near her face so she could make out each flake and marvel at their uniqueness. She then forcefully blew the remaining snow off her palm, sending specks of white everywhere.
Unbeknownst to her, the silent daiyoukai tracked her movements intensely, afraid to miss a beat.
“Tell me, Kagome. Does snow mean anything to you?”
Glancing at the daiyoukai, Kagome’s brows furrowed, perplexed by his question. What a random thing to ask.
The snow continued to fall gently around them. White flakes speckled all over her midnight black hair, while the rest appeared to melt into Sesshōmaru’s platinum locks.
Turning her attention back to the falling snow, Kagome grew quiet as she contemplated his question.
Extending her palm upward, Kagome caught a large flurry on its descent.
“You know, even the strongest blizzards start with a single snowflake,” Kagome finally said. Twisting and turning her hand, Kagome raced against time to identify as many snowflake patterns as she could find before melting into droplets. “Each snowflake reminds me of life. Delicate, unique, and beautiful. Perfectly imperfect, in their own way.”
So focused on her hand, Kagome missed the inaudible gasp and the split-second look of surprise on the demon lord’s face, a slip in his otherwise stony mask.
“I was not aware that you saw beauty in the most inappreciable places,” he replied, sounding impressed.
She shrugged. “Sometimes, it’s the little things that mean the most. They leave a lasting impression for years to come.”
“Indeed.”
Kagome glimpsed Sesshōmaru’s eyes flicker with interest before turning his head away to inspect the three-tiered snowman nearby.
Sensing his growing curiosity as he continued to dissect the frozen sculpture with his eyes, Kagome offered to enlighten the quizzical demon lord. “Where I come from, we call that a snowman. Rin, Shippo, and I built it earlier.”
Sesshōmaru studied the snowman longer, as if committing each detail to memory. “Hn. This is not what I had expected.”
“Were you expecting a demon?” She asked, curious.
Tilting his head over his shoulder, Sesshōmaru arched his brow at her ridiculous suggestion. “No.”
Kagome walked over to the anthropomorphic snow mound, fixing its berry eyes and lopsided icicle fangs. “It’s not exactly native to Japan—I mean, Edo. I’m surprised you even know what a snowman is.”
His face hardened at the implication in her tone. She wanted to know where or how he had acquired this piece of information. As far as she knew, snowmen originated somewhere in Europe not too long ago. Unless Sesshōmaru was secretly a world traveler or just extremely worldly, it would take another couple of decades before the concept of snowmen reached the shores of this land.
Worldly seems more like it, given his status, Kagome concluded. Maybe he liaised with other demon lords and ladies from faraway continents, including places like Europe, and the Americas.
As seconds ticked by, Sesshōmaru’s lengthened silence neither confirmed nor denied her speculation.
Yeah, that’s much more plausible, she lied, squelching her suspicion away.
Changing the topic to break the awkward silence between them, Kagome blurted out the first thought that came to mind.
“Rin insisted on making his eyes yellow. She also named him Snowmaru-sama. I think she had you in mind.”
Sesshōmaru piped up at the mention of his ward. “I see Rin is well.”
Kagome turned to him with a proud smile on her face, akin to how a mother would beam with pride when their child received praise. “She really is. I’ve been working on reading comprehension with her, and she picks it up right away.”
Sesshōmaru nodded his head in agreement, a smug expression on his handsome features.
“She’s incredibly smart, Sesshōmaru. Always curious, always perceptive. I love that about her.”
Kagome didn’t have to hear him say anything, for his actions spoke louder than any words he could’ve said. Sesshōmaru was incredibly proud of his little girl.
As she watched him approach the snowman cautiously, Kagome could not keep the smile off her face. I guess Sesshōmaru really likes snowmen. I wonder if he’ll join in on the fun next time? The image of the stoic demon lord on his knees, pushing and molding a giant snowball with two hyperactive children in tow was so absurdly cute, it made her chuckle and gush at the same time.
“Is something amusing you, Kagome?”
Kagome waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, nothing. Just a silly, passing thought.”
“Sesshōmaru-sama!” Rin’s elated cry in the far distance caused Sesshōmaru and Kagome to turn in that direction. Waving her gloved hand vigorously, Rin flashed them her biggest grin, further highlighted by her pink-tinged cheeks.
“I think she wants to show you her snow fortress, next,” Kagome suggested, motioning to the dome-like structure next to where Rin stood. “She’s been working on it for the past half-hour.”
“Hn.”
Sesshōmaru strode past Kagome on his way to Rin, stopping as her shoulder brushed his billowing sleeve. Arching a brow, Kagome shot Sesshōmaru a sideways glance, unsure of his action.
“I think Snowmaru-sama could use a hat,” he finally said, his voice low. “He’ll get cold later.”
·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·❄·
IV.
A blanket of white covered the ground and the surrounding evergreen trees, as far as Kagome’s eyes could see. The white shroud of sparkling snow laid softly on every surface imaginable, as light rays of the sun penetrated through the tiny gaps in the otherwise thick, gray skies above. The light snowfall that danced their way to the ground gave the scenic view an ethereal, otherworldly feeling.
Breathtaking as the scene may be, Kagome’s true focus laid just a few yards ahead of her, as two figures gallivanted around the sea of white.
One was clearly a child, complete with a matching set of pink gloves and scarf, pink boots, and a white hat with not one, but two pink pom-poms that bounced with each step. Based on the explosion of pink against the white canvas, Kagome deduced that the little ball of energy had to be a little girl no older than five years old.
The other figure next to her, a tall male adult, was a bit harder to discern. Kagome had to squint to make out distinct features. Silver-white hair and pale ivory complexion almost blended with the background. Had it not been for the well-fitted bomber jacket that emphasized broadened shoulders and dark pants that hugged at the right places, she would’ve lost him in the surroundings. She couldn’t see his face, as he was hovering over the little girl, assisting her with forming what would become the base of a snowman. The unquestionable spherical mounds, the various sticks, stones, and red scarf piled up next to them gave it all away.
She heard the man groan dramatically as he pretended to struggle with pushing the gargantuan snowball with his daughter. He exaggerated his movements just enough to elicit a melodic laugh from the little girl.
Kagome smiled at the father-daughter bonding moment before her. It reminded her of the days where her papa had done the exact same things for her, a lifetime ago. She imagined herself as a little girl in awe of her towering father’s strength and capabilities, as he lifted each heavy globe, and stacked them on top of each other. Closing her eyes briefly, she was transported to a time where he would pick her up so she could place the proper accessories on their snowman, beginning with the eyes, the carrot nose, the smiling mouth, and finally, the scarf.
“You can do it, Daddy! You’re very strong!” The little girl’s giggles snapped Kagome out of her reverie.
“You did all the work, Astra. I merely assisted,” replied the silver-haired man, crouching down to her height. “I say we take a break. It looks like Mommy brought your favorite drink with her. What do you think?”
“Astra. What a beautiful name!” She loved stellar-themed names, especially ones inspired by heavenly bodies. Even though she didn’t have a specific name picked out, Kagome always wanted her first daughter’s moniker to be of the stars. Perhaps she would take a little bit of inspiration from the bright, little girl in front of her, whenever the time came.
But a faint, nagging feeling from deep within her subconscious told her a different tale. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard the namesake.
“Why does that name sound so familiar?” She racked her brain for memories of when she encountered that name, but come up with none, at the moment.
Ignoring her question for the time being, Kagome continued to watch the change in emotions as Astra processed her father’s suggestion. Astra’s face lit up like the light of a supernova, as she finally connected the dots. “Mommy made hot chocolate?!” Twisting around, her cherubic face broke into a brilliant smile as she found her target.
A warm body. Silk sheets. Soft touches. Butterfly kisses. Twin amber pools that stared into her soul and took her breath away.
Kagome’s stomach turned as fragmented snippets came together like pieces to a jigsaw puzzle, combining to form the beginnings of a distant memory.
Promises of building the best snowman in the history of all snowmen.
“Hi mommy!” The little girl waved in Kagome’s direction, before breaking into a sprint. Her father, with his long strides, sauntered over, not far behind.
Blue and gold eyes staring back at her.
Bingo.
Kagome blinked in confusion, before her eyes widened with recognition. Images of a little girl referring to her as ‘mommy’ came flooding back.
“No, no. That was just a… dream.”
Denial gripped her tightly, and it refused to relent.
“It can’t be the same dream. I must be losing my mind.”
Kagome whipped her head around quickly to see if there was another person around, and the girl had made a mistake in misidentifying her, again. Relief washed over her in waves as she saw a woman standing a few steps behind her, clutching an opened thermos. The rising steam from the hot beverage obstructed her face from full view.
Sidestepping to clear the path for the stampeding little girl, Kagome felt like an intruder in an otherwise intimate scene between father and daughter, and now, the complete family. She tried to find the way back to wherever she came from so she could give them a moment of peace.
Reason dictated that she leave them be, but curiosity immobilized her legs from taking the first step.
Kagome froze in place as the two figures came closer to her station. Her breath lodged in her throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, as the man’s unobstructed face came into full view.
“No freaking way,” said Kagome, her voice barely above a whisper.
The white-silver mane, the angular jawline, magenta stripes, the indigo crescent moon, and the most striking liquid gold eyes…
Those golden orbs that have haunted her since being on the receiving end of such intensity, in such close proximity all those weeks ago…
And the same ones that were now boring holes through her skull, like golden lasers that beamed straight to her soul.
These traits were undeniable. She only knew of one being on the entire planet who possessed such markings.
“Sesshōmaru?!” Kagome shrieked in disbelief. “B-But…How?!”
Clasping her mouth with her hand, she reprimanded herself for screeching so loudly.
Shifty eyes anxiously scanned the faces of Sesshōmaru, his daughter, and his—whatever she is— with precision, looking to see if they heard her.
None seemed affected by her outburst, to her relief.
“They can’t see or hear me,” she concluded, trying to calm her frazzled mind.
She finally understood Miroku’s plight as the resident peeping tom of the group. Being incognito had its perks, including saving herself from the embarrassment of being found out. “Gods, I really hope they can’t see me.”
As Sesshōmaru marched toward her, Kagome found herself rooted to the ground, unable to turn her head away. Her mind was having a hard time processing the present image of the approaching daiyoukai in modern attire, with warm eyes brimming with pride at the jubilant little girl a few steps ahead of him, and the faintest of smiles painted across his face.
“Hello, my sweet pea. Did you have fun with Daddy?”
Shifting her attention back to the source of the voice, Kagome watched as the woman bent down to wedge the thermos in the snow, freeing her hands to receive the little girl with open arms.
Astra launched herself in her mother’s embrace, accidentally knocking off the woman’s hat.
Like watching a movie unfold before her, Kagome was all smiles at the heartwarming scene, until the woman’s midnight black tresses spilled out in waves from the confines of the discarded hat.
Her heart dropped, while her insides twisted in knots. Gasping for air, Kagome felt like she had been sucker-punched in the gut.
Whatever remaining doubts Kagome had regarding the maternity of the child were thrown to the wind.
Blue eyes nearly popped out of its sockets as Kagome stared at the mirror image of herself, caught in a loving embrace with the little girl who shared a resemblance to her.
She couldn’t feign ignorance any longer. The cat was out of the bag.
Flabbergasted, Kagome was stunned into silence.
Holy shit—take mushrooms! Warning bells blared in her mind. What the heck is going on?!
This had to be another dream, Kagome was sure of it. There was no way in the seven pits of hell that she and Sesshōmaru would have an intimate relationship, let alone a child. True, they conversed, and were on a first-name basis now, but they were light-years away from foraying into courtship or dating, as far as she could tell.
Armed with more questions than she could provide answers for, Kagome decided to continue watching their interaction unfold.
She hoped that whatever she learned would at least ease her growing anxiety, before she officially declared herself mentally insane.
·❄·❄·❄·
“Mommy! Me and Daddy are finishing what you and I started. This is going to be the bestest snowman ever!”
“That’s wonderful, darling! I brought your favorite treat—a mommy special.” Kagome chimed in, handing Astra the steaming thermos. “Be careful, it’s hot.”
Astra tilted her little nose up to sniff the air, her eyes widening like saucers. “Daddy was right! You made hot chocolate!” Her little hands grasped the thermos, holding it delicately to take a sip. “Thank you, mommy!”
“Daddy is always right,” said Sesshōmaru, as he caught up with the mother-daughter duo. Kagome shot him a sideways glance at the statement.
“Always, huh? I know you’re near perfect, but that’s a reach, even for you.”
He smirked at her backhanded compliment. “Flattery aside, I was right about one thing. The most important thing.” He reached across to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, before gently cupping her cold cheek against his warm palm. “I was right about you.”
“What? That I make the best hot chocolate, besting even my mothers?”
He chuckled; a small indentation evident on his otherwise smooth face as a dimple peeked out. “That is also true, but that is not what I meant.”
“Then enlighten me, oh great-and-powerful daiyoukai.”
Sesshōmaru scowled at her retort, though with far less ice than usual.
“Someone once told me, many moons ago, that even the strongest of blizzards begin with the smallest snowflake.”
Kagome laughed. “I can’t believe you still remember that, after calling you an impossible dog! You weren’t much for conversation then, you know. It was like talking to an icicle!”
An eyebrow arched up. “According to you, I am still not the greatest conversationalist.”
“Let’s just say you’re a work in progress. Progress is good!”
“Don’t patronize me,” he muttered, a frown threatening to mar his face.
“I swear, I’m not! You can use that sharp nose of yours, if you don’t believe me!”
At her suggestion, Sesshōmaru eased off, but his nostrils flared imperceptibly. “I believe you.”
Sighing, she intertwined her fingers with his. “All joking aside, I had faith that you’d eventually warm up, and you did,” said Kagome, with a soft smile. “But I digress. What do snowflakes have anything to do with us?”
Sesshōmaru wistfully smiled at her question. “It has everything to do with us.” He said quietly, pausing for a moment to contemplate his next words carefully.
Kagome looked at him expectantly, silently encouraging him to continue.
“You are that single snowflake, Kagome. Unique and beautiful, in your own way.” The tall daiyoukai replied, while gently dusting off a snow flurry that fell on her bangs. “It was you who started all of this.”
“Did I now?” Kagome arched her brow, mimicking him. “I didn’t hear you complain about it, nor did you pull any moves to stop all ‘this’,” she teased back, crossing her arms.
“Hn.”
“Don’t ‘Hn’ me, mister!” She huffed, playfully. “Besides, I never really got a straight answer from you regarding the reasons behind your…forthcoming actions, all those years ago. Other than the dreams, of course.” She jabbed her pointer finger against the hard planes of his chest. “I’ve asked you to enlighten me on the beginnings of this relationship from your perspective, but you won’t budge! You owe me that, at the very least.”
Sesshōmaru gave her a thoughtful look as he pondered her request, before acquiescing. “Very well, Ka-go-me.”
“Touché, Sesshōmaru.” Kagome stuck her tongue out at him.
“I was trapped by the avalanche of emotions I could not fathom whenever I was around you.” Sesshōmaru began, slowly running his fingers through her locks. “I disappeared for stretches of time, searching for a way to end the sorcery you placed on me. Yet each time I returned, all my efforts went to waste. I couldn’t stay away.”
“Go on.”
“As I became acquainted with you, and saw how you had cared for Rin on your own, without preamble, I realized that…I didn’t want to escape, after all.”
Her expression softened at his honest confession. “If that’s not a roundabout way of saying you fell head over heels in love with me, then I don’t know what is.”
“I am not the most adept with words.” Sesshōmaru commented, the flame in his eyes flickering like candlelight in the wind. “But, if you so desire, I can be expressive in other ways.” He intoned suggestively as his hand traced the scarf wrapped around Kagome’s neck. “Preferably behind closed doors, and with fewer…accessories.”
Her cheeks colored a deeper shade of red, and it wasn’t from the biting cold, nor from the few snowflakes that descended on them softly.
A tug on both Kagome’s and Sesshōmaru’s sleeves broke the heady moment between the two adults.
“Mommy, Daddy, come! I wanna finish Mister Snowman, please,” said Astra, as she handed the now empty thermos back to Kagome. “This was so yummy, mommy! Thank you.”
Releasing a quick, tense breath before smiling, Kagome squatted down to take the proffered container. “You’re very welcome, my starlight.” She pinched her daughter’s pink-tinged cheek. “You are too cute, you know that?”
“Yep! Daddy says I’m beautiful, just like you!” Astra cheerfully supplied, her pupils sparkling with pride.
Kagome blushed at her daughter’s comment, before flashing the demon lord her brightest grin, filled with love and gratitude. He reciprocated with an equally stunning smile of his own.
“Still a charmer, even after all this time.” Kagome giggled, giddy with the shower of affection. “Who would’ve thought.”
Picking her hat off the ground, Kagome shook it to get rid of the excess snow, before handing it over to her daughter. “Hat, or no hat for Mister Snowman?”
“Hat please! He’ll get cold later!”
Kagome held onto Astra’s hand, savoring the warmth her little hand emitted through the gloves. “Let’s get to it then, before I get too cold myself!”
Sending Sesshōmaru an ‘I’m not finished with you’ look, Kagome was led away by their daughter, who zealously plowed her way back towards the waiting snowman.
Sesshōmaru’s golden eyes gleamed brighter than the shimmering snow around him as he watched the duo walk away. A devious smile crossed his strikingly handsome face.
“I will keep you warm tonight, my miko. My Kagome.”
·❄·❄·❄·
A few steps away, another set of cheeks burst aflame at the intimate, flirtatious scene that transpired between her dream-self, and the uncharacteristically affectionate daiyoukai.
Kagome clutched her pounding chest, and tried to control her breathing as her heart galloped a million miles a minute. She was a hodgepodge of emotions. Shocked and intrigued by the series of events before her, Kagome wasn’t sure whether she wanted to wake up from whatever this….this dream was.
She and Sesshōmaru. Sesshōmaru and her. Together. With a daughter. A beautiful little girl whose features reflected the mix of his demon heritage, and her miko blood.
Scratching her head, Kagome racked her brain for all the instances she could remember involving her interactions with the enigmatic demon lord. She recognized an emerging pattern in her two separate dreams.
As if adding fuel to the raging fire, Kagome found it odd that this dream had referred to something she had told the daiyoukai weeks ago. She distinctly remembered him asking her about the meaning of snow, and she had supplied him with her take on snowflakes as a reminder of the fragility of life.
“That Sesshōmaru said the same thing when I confronted him about using my name!” Kagome blurted out, as her mind made connections between this dream and reality. Even her dream self inferred how she had felt about the whole situation, in vivid detail. As if she lived through it.
“And then there was the comment about Snowmaru-sama needing a hat.”
With the evidence stacking up, Kagome was hard-pressed to admit that perhaps these dreams were not really dreams, but more like premonitions of what was in store for her.
Or maybe it was an alternate timeline, set in the future.
Either way, Kagome was stupefied beyond comprehension.
A glimpse of their lives in the distant future. A sign of better days to come. A sneak peek of the happiness she had been yearning for all this time.
It was too preposterous. Too unfathomable.
Too good to be true.
Kagome was about to slap herself out of this delusion when she felt a sting on her face, right before everything went dark.
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V.
“Kagome-sama! Wake up, Kagome-sama!”
Kagome cracked her eyes open at the intrusion, while rubbing her stinging cheek. Large, chocolate brown eyes stared at her worriedly.
“Kagome-sama was making all kinds of strange noise. Rin thought something bad was happening,” Rin explained, her head hung low.
Kagome flinched when she touched her tender cheek. “Ow.”
“Rin is sorry for hitting Kagome-sama,” Rin admitted, guilt and remorse colored her voice.
Kagome sat up from her sleeping bag, hazy azure eyes still partially clouded over by the vivid dream. “I-it’s alright, Rin,” she soothed, clutching her hand. “Thank you for being concerned for me. I appreciate it.”
“You were having a nightmare,” came the smooth, velvety voice that echoed past Rin’s hovered form.
A nightmare? Hardly, she quipped, her thoughts still clouded over with fuzzy feelings.
But as the memories of the dream anchored her down, preventing her from slipping back into sleep’s embrace, Kagome stilled.
She knew that voice. She could recognize that deep, baritone voice from a mile away.
Looking past Rin’s head, fear and elation shot through Kagome all at once at the sight of the daiyoukai sitting on a tree branch across from her. Perched up a few feet above the ground, Sesshōmaru sat casually with one leg bent up, while the other dangled off to the side. One extended arm rested on top of his bent knee, the other laid on his thigh, near the hilt of Bakusaiga, ready to strike at any moment’s notice.
Donned in his full regalia, from the spikes on his armor that would impale her if shoved close enough, to his billowing white sleeves and oversized, fluffy tail, Sesshōmaru looked like the demon lord she had befriended; the Sesshōmaru she was familiar with.
Though his eyes were closed, she knew he was just as aware and alert as ever—like an omnipresent guard dog on duty—listening for the faintest of sounds, sniffing for lurking predators nearby, and warning them all to stay away with his oppressive youki.
Heck, he could probably hear the drumming of her heart, and pick up the increase in her breathing with his enhanced senses. She was thankful he kept mum about it.
As she examined him in detail, Kagome noticed just how beautiful and deadly he was, like a poisonous flower with its alluring colors. For all his bravado, Sesshōmaru had never looked as content as he did now. Flowing silver-white hair framed his angular face, while the rest of his silky tresses cascaded down his broad shoulders and beyond.
He looked like a sleeping angel of death.
But another image of a half-naked, bare-chested Sesshōmaru conjured itself out of the deep recesses of her subconscious, as promises of demonstrative love and affection invaded her mind.
Covering her heated face with her hands, Kagome thought of snow bunnies, and other cute things to distract herself from the inappropriate thoughts threatening to flood her imagination.
Calm your hormones, girl! This is real life now. She berated herself, while taking measured, shuddered breaths. Sesshōmaru wouldn’t come near you with a twelve-foot pole, even if his life depended on it.
“Rin. Go help Jaken fetch some firewood,” Sesshōmaru ordered.
“Yes, Sesshōmaru-sama.” Rin took off running to the woods before Kagome could wave goodbye.
At his command, Kagome snapped out of her fantasies, and finally took in her surroundings. They were in a clearing, but the protruding boulders, and blanketing fog provided them with some privacy.
The air carried a distinctive, sulfuric aroma—telltale sign that a hot spring was nearby. A fire was going between several large rocks, while her cooking utensils and food supplies were out in the open next to it.
Sango probably got started with dinner prep, she mused. Scrunching her brows, Kagome wondered how long she had been out.
Noticing the unusually quiet atmosphere, Kagome surveyed the vicinity for the familiar faces of her friends. She expected Shippo to bounce out of the woods with an assortment of wintry foliage he collected for fun, Miroku feigning meditative mindfulness before getting a slap or two from a fuming Sango next to him, and Kirara all cuddled up by a sleeping Ah-Un. She even scanned the bare treetops, searching for the distinctive robe of the fire rat perched amongst the stark branches, listening for Inuyasha’s grumbles about shards or picking a fight with Jaken.
But none of them were in sight.
They were completely alone.
“Where are the others?” She squeaked, swallowing to lubricate her suddenly dry throat despite the air being humidified from the hot spring nearby.
“The hanyou, and the monk went to the nearest village for information. The taijiya, the neko-youkai, and your kit are bathing at the hot spring. Jaken, and Ah-Un are out gathering berries, and firewood.”
“I see.” She shifted in her sleeping bag, as the uncomfortable silence took over once more.
He probably thinks you’re lower than dirt, thought Kagome, despite his explanation. Sesshōmaru hardly spoke to anyone, but he had actually been more talkative with her as of late, ever since the last time it snowed.
“So… um.” Kagome fumbled with her sleeping pack, tongue-tied at the deafening silence. The air was thick with tension, and she didn’t know how to cut it.
Sesshōmaru sighed, before amber eyes opened and gazed up and down her body. Looking beyond the shock that was evident on Kagome’s face, he gracefully hopped down from the tree and sauntered over to where she was sitting.
Seeing the daiyoukai approach, and not knowing what else to do, Kagome roused up and started moving about, appearing busy. She absentmindedly rearranged her cooking utensils and finished preparing dinner, all the while ignoring the piercing golden eyes that followed her every move.
Kagome knew she was being awkward, but for the record, she didn’t care. Images of a domesticated Sesshōmaru from an alternate universe were still fresh in her mind. She was still struggling to conflate the two—the affectionate partner and doting father from her dream, and the stoic daiyoukai who stood a foot away from her, with arms crossed, and a smirk on his face.
The corners of his mouth pulled up just a touch. “Does my presence bother you, Kagome?” Sesshōmaru asked, his voice adorned with a hint of amusement.
“N-no, not at all,” she lied.
Sensing her unease, Sesshōmaru looked away for a moment. “Your anxiety is palpable. Lying will only make you less credible.”
Sighing in defeat, Kagome stopped her musings and faced him. He had a point. She couldn’t avoid him forever, and her poor behavior would most likely undo all the progress they’ve made to get to being cordial with each other.
Dare she say, they were even on… friendly terms now.
He at least addressed her by her first name, and not by her title or occupation. That alone was a small victory worth celebrating.
“I’m sorry, Sesshōmaru. I just have a lot on my mind.”
Kagome slowly lifted her gaze, expecting his customary scowl at her apology. To her surprise, rueful blue eyes met softened marigold, gazing upon her with unspoken emotion.
Sesshōmaru approached her again, stopping mere inches from her. Kagome had to crank her neck up so she could keep direct eye contact with the tall demon lord.
Defiant until the very end, Kagome fought the urge to cower, and avert her eyes from his penetrating gaze. She prayed to all the gods watching that he didn’t call out her bluff.
They stayed that way for an indeterminate amount of time. Neither dared to blink, as they both got lost in each other’s eyes. Swirls of emotion mirrored off between amber and azure pools.
His face inched closer until the tip of his nose grazed hers.
“Kagome,” Sesshōmaru whispered softly, breaking their trance. “What are you doing to me?”
Flabbergasted by the daiyoukai’s encroachment of her personal space, and not knowing how to answer his question without giving herself away, Kagome was at a loss.
“I—“
Her words were stolen away as warm, pliant lips suddenly came crashing down on hers.
Dizzy, and overwhelmed by his taste in her mouth, Kagome swayed forward, her knees buckling. Bracing herself against the daiyoukai’s armor, the subsequent action pressed her to him, but he had caught her in time before she could break away from the contact. His arms snaked around her waist and lifted her slightly off the ground, giving him more leverage to deepen the already emotionally charged kiss.
Malleable by his touch and bending to his will, Kagome was completely at his mercy. She closed her eyes and mewled with pleasure as he molded her mouth with his, while their tongues twisted and turned in an elaborate dance. Yearning to get closer, her arms reflexively coiled around his neck, while her fingers entangled itself in his moonlight, silky hair.
His kiss was intoxicating, addicting, and overwhelming—threatening to overpower her completely. The sensation was nothing Kagome could have ever dreamed of, or imagined. Although she had read and swooned over many ‘first kiss’ scenes in books and movies, experiencing her first kiss with the very well-versed, and very dominating daiyoukai was undefinable by any standards. No word in her vocabulary could even come close to describing the thousand and one sparks that ignited within her. It literally took her breath away.
They kissed like that for what felt like an eternity, oblivious to their surroundings and the falling snow around them. Time had frozen in place, as their past, present, and future collided in this one singular moment.
Whatever came of this, Kagome would deal with it later. But for right now, everything in the world felt right, for once. She didn’t want it to end.
But much to her dismay, Sesshōmaru drew back slightly to gaze at her with hooded eyes, while allowing her to gasp hungrily for air. The normally muted gold of his iris blazed with a passion that shone brightly only for her.
Captivated by the fire in his eyes, she found it difficult to look away, even if she tried.
“Sesshōmaru, what’s going o—“
“Shh.” Sesshōmaru placed a clawed finger on her swollen lips, silencing her. “I know you have questions, as do I, but there is something I need to ask you first.” He said with a seriousness that grabbed Kagome’s undivided attention.
“What is it?”
He lowered her back on the ground, taking care to ensure his spiky armor didn’t cut her in the process. “I would like to try this… hot chocolate of yours. The one you learned from your mother,” asked Sesshōmaru, as if remembering something from memory.
Kagome blinked several times, completely taken back by the rather… contrived question. Of all the things he could’ve said, that was nowhere near close to what she had been expecting. Besides, how in the heavens did he know about her mother’s secret recipe in the first place?
She cocked her head to the side, unsure whether she misheard or misunderstood him. “Um… Sure…?” Kagome replied, surprise and suspicion laced in her tone. “The last time someone requested that was—“
Sesshōmaru’s intense gaze stopped her rambling. Brows twitching, he looked at her as if she had completely missed the point. But as she thought real hard about the example she was about to provide, a moment of clarity broke through her fog of uncertainty.
There could only be one reason he would ask something very specific—something not even Inuyasha or her other friends were privy to.
“Do you…” Kagome began, worry and apprehension apparent in her voice. “Do you see her, too?”
Sesshōmaru rested his forehead against hers, nodding. “You are not the only one plagued with these apparitions. She appears in mine, as well.”
She had to strain to hear his silent confession over the pounding of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears. “You don’t mean…”
“Astra. She is ours.”
To say Kagome was shocked was a vast understatement. She was completely off-kilter. Tilted off her axis, her world spun out of control, and she was desperately trying to regain some sense of normalcy.
She thought she was going crazy this whole time, with no reprieve or validation from the storm of emotions brewing within her. But at his affirmation that he too was afflicted by strange dreams, Kagome wasn’t sure whether she should feel relieved or worried at his attestation. For the record, she barely knew the guy, save for their sparse interaction in the past and their common interests, including defeating Naraku and co-parenting Rin, to a degree.
And now they shared yet another commonality: Being doting parents to a jubilant little girl who only existed in their dreams.
“What does it all mean? Why you? Why me?”
She wasn’t sure which part of her existence was real and which one wasn’t anymore, as boundaries blurred and one became indiscernible from the other. Either way, her relationship with Sesshōmaru was changing—had changed—for better or worse.
“Why…us?”
The daiyoukai grew quiet for a moment, as he contemplated her inquiry. “I have grappled with this question, myself. I dislike being in the dark like this.”
“What if this is all a coincidence? I mean, how long have you had these dreams?” Kagome followed up, even though coincidence was a concept she herself didn’t entirely trust. They were too intertwined and too interconnected to be dismissed so casually.
“Long enough.” His answer came almost as quickly as the last word left her lips. “These ‘dreams’ are but a catalyst to what had been started long ago, Kagome. It’s time I put my thoughts into action.”
Somehow his answer brought her more discomfort than consolation.
“How long, Sesshōmaru?” Kagome demanded stiffly, backing away so she could look him square in the eye. If he had been plagued with these dreams longer than she had, then that meant he was privy to a lot more than the glimpses she’d seen.
The mere fact that there were more of these dreams to come gripped her heart tightly. The itch to know became unbearable.
“These…premonitions started right before the first time I met you, inside my father’s remains.”
“Right before the first time…” Kagome counted the weeks and months backwards in her head. “You’ve been dreaming about us for over a year?!”
Sesshōmaru’s gaze shifted downward to rest on her slightly plump lips. “I had no idea who you were then, until you opened your mouth to speak. Seeing you in the flesh with my father’s sword in hand, defying me…it ignited something within.” A clawed thumb reached across to stroke her bottom lip affectionately.
Kagome’s brows furrowed. The mixed signals she was getting from the imposing demon lord confused her beyond reason. She remembered the time that he alluded to very well. Not only did she think he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her short life, but she almost died by his hand, quite literally.
“I was powerless under your spell,” Sesshōmaru continued. “I detest not being in control, therefore I tried to do something about it.”
“Wait. Is that why you tried to kill me by dumping your poison all over me?!” Kagome rebuked, not missing a beat.
“Perhaps,” he admitted, lowering his head in apology. “The fact that you, a mere human, survived my attack when so many others before you perished, both intrigued and infuriated me. There had to be a reason for this…oversight.”
“But what you’re suggesting is crazy!” Kagome huffed incredulously. “You can’t possibly believe we’re soulmates or something, all because of a bunch of dreams!”
“I am not partial to believing such trivial things either, but you know as well as I do that there are instances from those dreams that have come from our interactions in the waking world, and vice versa. Ones that I have no logical explanation for.”
Again, he had a point. She grappled with the same questions herself.
Sesshōmaru bent his head forward to nuzzle his cheek against hers, before grazing his lips against the shell of her ear. “But one thing is certain. You are mine.” He whispered, his already husky voice dropping an octave lower. “Perhaps not this very moment, but you will be, someday.”
The conviction and sincerity in his voice were enough to persuade Kagome that Sesshōmaru meant every word.
“But, you hardly know me.” She remarked, as logic fought its way through the heady fog that threatened to overcome her reasoning abilities. “And I know next to nothing about you. I can’t just catapult myself into marriage with a stranger!”
“Marriage is a human concept, established for political alliance. I have no need for such things.” Sesshōmaru countered, his voice inflected with a touch of grit. “I am only interested in you, and you alone.”
Kagome fought the urge to melt into his arms as butterflies swarmed in her stomach. Never in a million years did she ever imagine the stoic demon lord to be such a charmer.
“What if…” she trailed off, afraid to speak her mind for the first time. “What if I need time? What if I’m not ready?”
Kagome buried her face in her hands and tucked her head in the crook of his neck. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt and disappointment. Here was the most powerful demon in all the lands, baring his entire soul to her, saying all the right things that would make any female, demon or human, swoon to oblivion…
And she had the nerve to turn him down.
Sesshōmaru placed his hands over her wrists and gently pulled down. “Then, I shall wait.” He answered truthfully, his eyes blazing with steadfast loyalty. “However long it takes.”
It was a promise. His vow.
Kagome felt the burning in her eyes, the constriction in her throat, and the stinging in her nose, as a tsunami of emotions swept through her, unearthing all the buried hurt and sadness caused by another white-haired boy. Within a span of minutes, Sesshōmaru had made her feel more visible and wanted than she’d ever felt from the year spent with Inuyasha. The sprinkles of affection and false hopes paled in comparison to the pure, unadulterated devotion that the daiyoukai supplied.
To Sesshōmaru, she mattered. She was more than just a shard detector, a punching bag, and the shadow of a powerful miko from long ago.
But the roots of self-doubt and self-deprecation ran deep, keeping her grounded; a sliver of doubt still lingered, like an invisible shackle.
“I don’t understand…” She stammered, more so from the lack of credence than confusion.
“You do understand.” Sesshōmaru corrected her. “You are far more intelligent than you’re pretending to be.”
“But why?” Kagome whimpered quietly, her resolve shattering as the levee that kept her tears at bay broke free. “Why go through all this for me?”
Sesshōmaru pulled back to face her; his normally haughty demeanor was replaced by one entirely genuine, free of any pretense. His golden eyes gleamed as clear as glass, emboldened by a fierceness she had only seen once—the time he came to her rescue right before the debauched poison master had his way with her.
Sesshōmaru’s large hands cradled her head tenderly as his thumbs gently petted away the tears that trickled down. Tilting her face up to meet his burning gaze, Sesshōmaru uttered the words that would seal their fates forever.
“Because you are the fire that keeps my spirit ablaze, Kagome. You are unique and beautiful. Perfectly imperfect, in your own way.”
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