Let Me by thetroll

Chapter 1

A/N: A much needed pick me up for a much beloved friend.

Kagome buried her head in her hands, trying to pretend for the life of her that she didn't hear their youngest, Takeshi, bellowing his lungs out from a few rooms away.

"I'm not a bad mother," she whispered to herself. "I'm not a bad mom for letting him cry and not going to check on him now. I'm not a bad mom for needing a break from my own kids. And I'm not a bad wife for expecting Sesshomaru to just handle the outburst on his own this time."

It was a mantra she sometimes had to repeat more than once daily, especially when her children were acting up as they had been all day today.

She and Sesshomaru had four children together and family life was, more often than not, tumultuous, for lack of a better word. She loved her children dearly, but they could be loud and dramatic.

Mom did often tell me that I'd wind up with a kid like me, she thought to herself in dry amusement. Turns out I had four.

After another loud screech, she heard a sudden silence that could only mean one thing.

"Sesshomaru," she breathed out with relief. She could already feel the headache coming on from Takeshi's meltdown and got to her feet, a little wobbly, to try and get some of the medicinal tea Jinenji had given her recently.

He'd found reason after reason to visit from time to time now that Rin was in residence at the shiro for the winter, but Kagome was all too glad to see him, whatever the reason.

Not only did Jinenji always remember to bring the medicine that helped treat the migraines that masqueraded as children, he also was fully willing to entertain her children while he visited—usually with Rin's help.

"Frankly, at this point, I'm willing to put up with another visit from Sesshomaru's mother if it means getting a break," she groused to herself, making her way towards the kitchen. She simply didn't want to bother with the noise and hassle of ringing a servant to get it for her.

Sesshomaru's mother was twice as dramatic as her son, but she loved her grandchildren with a ferocity that had initially surprised Kagome. His mother was also more than willing to transform and chase the children until they tuckered out and, for all her elegance, had no problems dealing with the rougher play of their kids that Kagome herself couldn't.

But his mother was also a large personality best handled in small doses.

Last time his mother had come to visit, she'd nearly succeeded in redecorating the entire family wing of the shiro, an expense that while they could afford, would have depleted them considerably.

She squealed in surprise as she suddenly felt herself being lifted up.

"Sesshomaru!" she gasped in surprise, looking up to see her husband smiling down at her with a tenderness she'd once thought him incapable of showing.

"Hnn." He lifted her to bury his face in her neck. "Come with me."

She sagged against him as he rumbled against her flesh. She'd told him more than once that she'd found the sound of his rumbles soothing. They weren't quite purring—he was a dog yokai, after all—but more of an odd humming noise that both she and the children found relaxing.

"I was going to get tea, Sesshomaru," she murmured, feeling some of the tension leave her body. "I have a headache."

"Shh," was all he had to say. Since he wasn't the type to ignore her own pain, he must have already taken precautions to have her tea ready or he would be now that she'd mentioned it.

"What about the kids?" she asked after a moment. "Were they okay?"

"They're fine," he said soothingly. "Rin has offered to help them settle down for the night."

That mollified her and she let him carry her off—not to their rooms, as she might have expected, but rather towards the gazebo he'd had built in the garden after hearing about the ones she'd liked from her own time in the future.

It was a thoroughly Japanese style gazebo and yet for all of that, it didn't quite suit the rest of the shiro.

Kagome hadn't cared and evidently neither had Sesshomaru, since he'd had it built for their fifth wedding anniversary.

To her surprise, she found the gazebo had already had candles lit to make use of the light as the sun began to set. Sesshomaru had spread a blanket on the wooden floor and then piled on top of the blanket cushions that looked familiar. Probably from their bedroom, she surmised.

He settled her down on the cushions and then stretched out beside her, pulling her into his arms to rest partially atop his chest.

She closed her eyes in delight, relishing the sudden quiet as she heard him faintly move his hands about, readying something.

"Here," he said, pressing a warm cup into her hands.

She opened her eyes as the scent of Jinenji's tea hit her nose. "Thank you," she said and meant it as she gratefully began sipping the tea. "I've had a headache brewing all day, Sesshomaru. One of these days, I really worry that I'm going to lash out at one of the kids."

It wasn't the first time she'd voiced her concerns to Sesshomaru. As their relationship had grown, so, too, had her trust in him as both lover and confidant.

There was a twinkle in his eye as he teased, "Perhaps, but you are, after all, only human."

She clicked her tongue to hide a reluctant grin. "I'm serious, Sesshomaru. I don't know how you haven't lost your mind yet, either. You've been dealing with them as much as I do."

That had been a point of pride for Sesshomaru. He'd expressly wanted to be involved with every aspect of their children's lives.

His arm around her waist pulled her in a little closer and his free arm wrapped the fur of his tail around her so that she wouldn't be cold. "You are a good mother," he told her as he fussed with the fur. "If you do lash out one day, I am certain you would apologize and be forgiven. Our children love you, Kagome."

She sniffled as she took a deep sip of tea. "Sometimes," she said, grasping for the right words, "I wish I was more patient with them. I wish I had more patience. Sometimes I wish I could spend more time with them, that our work didn't keep us so busy, and yet other times I wish I spent less. And I feel horrible for saying that."

At least her headache was finally beginning to abate, even if her heart was still troubled.

"Is this not a natural part of love?" he challenged her quietly as she finished off the tea. He took the cup from her and refilled it before handing it back. "You have told me more than once that parents aren't perfect. And I hardly see how being frustrated by our children makes you a bad parent. You feed them, care for them, teach them, and spend time with them when you can. It does not mean you should not see to your own needs as well, or that your own needs are no longer important or are secondary to theirs. You must first care for yourself before you can care for others—is this not what you have told me before?"

"And if you will not see to your own needs," he continued before she could respond, reaching for a bowl he must have filled with easy to eat foods before he'd brought her out here, "then I will."

Kagome smiled faintly at that as she tried to take the bowl from him. To her surprise, he refused to relinquish it, instead producing a pair of chopsticks from somewhere that he used to feed her bites of food in between sips of tea.

"You must have a lot on your plate, too," she said when she'd finished the bowl of food. She wasn't sure how he'd noticed she'd scarcely had much at dinner—their only daughter, Manami, who was also their eldest had been trying to help feed Takeshi his dinner, but Takeshi had taken it upon himself to take globs of sticky rice and mat them into her hair.

Kagome and Manami had spent the better part of half an hour working all of the mess out of the pre-teen's hair. Kagome could only hope that Takeshi grew out of his terrible twos soon before she had a temper tantrum herself.

"And when I am overwhelmed, I look forward to your own care as I care for you now," Sesshomaru replied as if he'd known what she was about to say next. "But for now, it is your needs that require the most attention."

He set aside the empty bowl and cup and then pulled her in a little closer so that she was more fully draped upon him, repositioning her until he was confident she was at her most comfortable.

She sighed, feeling weary and a bit raw from her emotional rollercoaster of a day. "I should get up," she murmured, feeling her exhaustion settle more fully over her. "I still have to help you with that missive and—"

"It will wait," Sesshomaru rumbled, beginning that comforting hum of his once more.

She found her eyes beginning to droop. "We still have to help your mother plan the family gathering next month, too."

"Mother has been throwing these parties for two decades now, ever since we first mated," Sesshomaru countered. "There is plenty of time. She simply likes to begin planning early."

Well, he wasn't wrong, but Kagome didn't like to wait until the last minute, either. "And I need to—"

"It will wait, Kagome," Sesshomaru rebuked her gently, his hands rubbing up and down her back gently as she sighed against him. "For now, rest. Your body is weary. When you wake, we will go to the hot spring and bathe and work out your muscles, but for now, what your body most needs is rest."

She cracked open an eye to playfully glare at him. "You're just saying that because you want to have sex later," she grumbled good naturally.

He smirked. "Well, I aim to attend to all of your body's needs," he said, completely unrepentant.

She huffed and closed her eyes again. "So long as you don't plan on trying for another kid. I'm done."

He chuckled as his other hand began caressing her hair, knowing how she loved to have it touched. "You were the one who wanted the fourth," he reminded her.

"I must have been out of my mind with hormones." She huffed again but this time it was half-chuckle. "Takeshi is going to be the death of me."

"We could always send him to live with Mother for a year," Sesshomaru teased.

She pretended to swat his chest as she yawned. "And turn out like you did?" she teased back. "No thanks. I'll keep our kid, warts and all."

"I thought," he breathed against her forehead before kissing it gently, "that you greatly enjoyed how I turned out."

"Gotta tell you something to keep you around," she said around another yawn.

He chuckled as he pressed another kiss to her forehead. "I am not going anywhere, Kagome. Go to sleep. I will always be here for you."

He pressed a light, chaste kiss to her lips and with a small smile, she finally drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow would probably be just as hectic as it was today, but with Sesshomaru at her side, she was sure they'd manage. Somehow.

Probably.