Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters...pouts
Cerulean orbs lazily watched as dawn's rosy tips grazed gently the wet earth below. The sun peeking shyly from behind the clouds, finally revealing its beautiful vibrant colors to the earth after nearly three days of rain. The soft, gentle breeze foreshadowing the coming of spring. Off to the horizon, you could see small dark birds flying through the gentle gust, forming a smooth "V" pattern. As if they'd often rehearsed it. Their soft wings dipped in the beautiful sun's rays, glistening. How lucky to be free and soar through the skies with no worries or obligations. With no remorse or hesitation. Unconditional freedom.
Thats what she'd always wanted. Freedom. Of course every thing changed that day she'd turned fifteen. Fifteen. How she cursed the year she turned fifteen. She loved it at the same time though.
Because it gave her the chance for her heart the opportunity to swell up and hold more love...different kind of loves. There was friendship love, motherly love, comeride love, and romance love. The love that you always dreamed about as a young naive child. But with the thing with love was, that it was always--unconditional always, accompanied by misery. They went hand in hand. Like lovers.
Such bitter sweet feelings. Of course she was tired. Tired of the promises left unspoken, and the love left uncorresponded. Wasn't she good enough? Was she so pathetic that a long dead woman would so easily overcome her. Her. Why is it that just when she was happy, finally gathering a small crumb of hope, it would be washed away? Was her destiny really and truly only to serve as a detector? Only a shadow of what once was a great source of power? The left overs?
But no more. She'd had enough. All those nights of longing, all those nights of watching him run off in search of a dead miko, were over. Those nights had made her stronger, had made her shield thicker, and made her smarter.
No more. Oh no, no more! She was not just going to relax and submit, she would start fighting back. She was not just another undecided teen, not just another love-struck pathetic girl. She was not just a jewel detector--and specially not someone's rebound excuse. She was a miko--guardian of the Shikon no Tama--as is by birthright. She was Kagome Higurashi--and she had had enough dammit!
Slowly rising from her position next to the God Tree, Kagome makes her way inside her house. She enters quietly, not making a single sound. Her feet swiftly gliding gracefully through the wooden floor. Gliding in a way forged only from practice and skill. On her way up the stairs, she hesitated, but only for a second, before continuing to her room. She passed her brother's open door, only briefly glancing at his sitting form on the bed. There was no time. She needed to get this done quickly and efficiently. No more stalling.
Slipping into her room quietly, she made her way to her closet and pulled out her yellow backpack. Though she wouldn't need all the space it provided. Only the most inexpensive went into it this day. Her toothbrush, a brush, clean undergarments, and one extra set of clothes. No more.
While in the kitchen though, she stuffed the poor yellow blob with ramen-though it made her heart twist in an uncomfortable way, spices, cookies, candy, cans of food, and water. Food was the one thing she over packed.
Suddenly, catching a faint sound from outside, she whirled around. She clearly heard her mother's footsteps outside. Making their way towards the kitchen. Slowly, she closed her eyes and tried to feel her face from the inside, making sure it wouldn't reveal too much. Not liking what she felt, she changed her thoughts to Shippou and his cute little smile. Instantly her mood changed and she smiled remembering her little adoptive son.
"Oh Kagome! You're home. I didn't expect you home this early," Mrs. Higurashi announced warmly, strolling into the kitchen and setting her grocery bags on the counter. Kagome feigned surprise and turned to her mother, a well practiced smile on her lips. "Hi mom. How are you? I just thought I should come and re-stock our supplies."
Mrs. Higurashi smiled at her daughter, a knowing glint in her eyes.
Kagome ran towards the well and jumped in, bright blue light engulfing her body. She looked up to see a beautiful blue sky. Quickly maneuvering her way out with the weight of the backpack hauling her down. Inuyasha wasn't there awaiting her return. How odd it seemed. Usually he was the first one there.
Off in the distance she spotted a dark figure in the air. As it approached her at high speed, she identified it as Kirara and Miroku. Where was Inuyasha? Panic threatened to choke her, as vile rose to her throat. Her heart started thrumming against her chest wildly. Miroku jumped off of Kirara and walked towards Kagome slowly, his dark purple material rustling around his ankles . Seeing the carefully guarded look Miroku gave her, she knew something was awfully wrong.
Not able to contain it any longer, she walked hastily to Miroku, "What's wrong? Where's Inuyasha?"
Miroku smiled at her uncomfortably, "Nothing is wrong, why don't you come to the village now, it is getting late." Kagome would of believed him if one, he hadn't shifted his gaze to the side as he spoke and two, if it was actually getting late, it was only midday.
Off in the distance, Kagome clearly saw a floating eel looking demon; Kikyo's soul collector. She knew her answer, she knew what was wrong.
"I see..." she trailed off, her sad eyes looking down while faining a smile. She couldn't believe how foolish and naive she was. For a minute she had actually worried about him, thinking that perhaps he was laying injured in Kaede's village. I guess thing's never changed. She remembered the other times he'd left, and the way she'd aways find some excuse for him. Her mind had simply kept revolving around the idea that it was probably Kikyo that was still after him, when really they were both to blame.
She had once told him that she'd aways be there with him, by his side. That no matter what, she didn't care what he was-be it a hanyou or a yukai or even a human-she'd still stick by with him. Always be his friend until the end. Of course, that's what she'd say when she felt nothing but a growing friendship for him. Now, she felt this unconditional love, she didn't know what to do with herself. Stay or leave? Her resolve from earlier when she was reminiscence of the way he treated her atop her roof, had slowly crumbled as she had packed. Now, her heart crumbling and her pride in chocking her throat, her resolve slowly returned.
"Alright then, Miroku, we should head towards the village then," without looking back, she allowed the monk to take the burden of the heavy yellow blob off her shoulders and carry it himself. He didn't way a word, not aloud that is. Inside, he was hurting. For his dear friend and for their soon to crumble family.
Miroku didn't know how he knew it, but he knew that soon, their little family would deteriorate-and the thought alone was too painful to bear. He knew, deep inside, that it would probably be for the best. Kagome-his dear friend-couldn't continue with nothing but empty promises and puny lies. She deserved so much more. Much more than what Inuyasha was giving her. No, not giving her, throwing her way. Nothing but left overs. Because that's what Inuyasha was giving her, only half meant promises and puny crumbs left over by that mud puppet.
Perhaps, one day, Inuyasha will unveil his eyes and see the true treasure he abandoned-a treasure he lost along the way. But perhaps, it'll be too late then. Hopefully it'll be too late by then. He certainly wished so. Before, he would of done anything to see them both together and solid-now, he'd do anything to see them apart. Because he knew that no matter what, Inuyasha would never let go of that first love. He'd always see Kagome as an alternative. And Kagome was not an alternative. She was everything any other man would want and ever need. She was loyal beyond belief and she was the most sincere and caring person he'd ever met.
Lost in his thoughts, he failed to see all the fleeting emotions speeding through Kagome's face. Kirara, though, was very much attuned to the girl's shifting emotions.
Kagome, too, had been lost in thoughts of her own. She really couldn't take any more of this. It was ridiculous! There were so many more things in life than falling in love with a guy and here she was, wasting her time with him! She was so tempted to turn around and head back through that stupid well. But first, she'll have to speak with her real friends. Making up her mind, she strode into the village with a new found purpose.
Sango and Shippou stood right outside the hut, waiting for them. Shippou flew into Kagome's arms and hugged her for dear life. Happiness spilling out of his innocent eyes, he said, "Hey Kagome! I'm so glad you're back!" Kagome smiled warmly and returned the hug.
With the sun setting soon, they decided to take their conversation inside the hut, where tea was brewing. Sango sat next to Kagome and Miroku across from them. "How was your time at home?" Sango asked warmly. The younger girl looked up and smiled, "Great, I actually had time to replenish our stock and do take care of other things I needed done."
Miroku glanced at both the girls, who were now speaking quite animated. He kept glancing at the entrance of the hut, every time hoping Inuyasha would barge in through. Of course, he never did. He was just sighing, when Kagome addressed him.
"Miroku, Sango, Shippou? I have something to talk to you about," Kagome began, looking at them each as she said their names. Sango and Miroku exchanged a glance, while Shippou and Kirara leaned closer to Kagome. "Listen, I think it would be best if I took a break from all this jewel shard hunting for a while. I feel like if I stay here any longer, I'm going to go insane. It's not you guys...really...it's just that, I can't take it any longer. You guys know exactly how I feel about Inuyasha, and I can't stand knowing he's with her. I'm so sorry, but I need some time off."
Sango took the other girl's hand and nodded her understanding. She was a bit shocked that she'd said that, after all, she'd never told her anything about the way she felt about Inuyasha. They'd all just guessed and assumed, but now, it was official. She'd cleared it all up. No more guessing or assuming. Miroku smiled at Kagome and gave a sigh of relief. "It's about time, Kagome. We'd been worried about you. Of course we didn't believe you that gullible, we just assumed that you didn't want to deal with it at the time. We're glad you've take this decision, we understand completely."
With that said, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kirara hugged Kagome and walked her towards the exit of the hut. Wishing her safety and farewell, they saw her turn around and walk away towards the well. Kagome had left her backpack with her friends so they could use what was in it. She hadn't want any one to come with her, since it was getting late. A gentle breeze picked up, playing with her dark tresses. She looked up at the sky, to have early start reflect from her shinning eyes. Shinning with unshed tears.
She'd finally done it. They say recognizing a addiction or a bad habit is the first step to healing. That's what she was doing, taking care of her addiction of Inuyasha. It'd all become a routine for her, she didn't really know if she still loved him or if it was simply the illusion of a routine. She stiffened when she saw silver hair through the trees. If Inuyasha saw her, he wouldn't let her leave. Or worse, if she saw him with her, she didn't know what she'd do. She didn't feel like arguing. Carefully, she pretended not to see anything and kept walking forward, her head held high. She was not going to lower her head to no one.
She wanted to run and be free. She didn't want the responsibility of the jewel. She didn't want the job of caring for something so dangerous. She didn't want to hold the safety of the world on her shoulders. Not while she was so confused--while her emotions were so shattered every where.
Then, she heard it. The twig that broke, the leaves that rustled behind her. He'd seen her, and now she'd have to face him. But, hey, bring it on. She'd seen death in the eye, and she wasn't going to let some asshole intimidate her. She spun around, poisonous words burning to spill out of her lips, when she choked on them and bit her tongue.