AN: Tumblr prompt again x
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Sesshoumaru did not cry. He never deigned to shed a tear about anything. Too proud, too strong to buckle under the weight of his emotions.
This did not mean he didn't grieve. His grief lasted long, something to be carried for years until it seemed like a part of his taciturn nature. It had been that way with Father's passing.
It was the same with Mother's that summer.
Two of the strongest people he'd known; giants in terms of power. Even their magnetism and charisma made them seem larger than life. He'd always strove to surpass them in strength since his character was not as...dramatic as theirs had been, though some would say otherwise.
His mate of several decades now tried her best to comfort him. She encouraged him to speak, to talk about his pain. But that was not Sesshoumaru's way; he did not cry, could not verbalise weakness. He'd never been taught how to.
This left a very narrow margin for expressing the feelings he was currently experiencing. Instead of showing it, he drifted in heavy waters of thought and memory.
Even their pup could not help to raise his spirits. On the training grounds, Touma demonstrated a stabbing technique with his wooden sword- blue eyes swinging back to him for praise or instruction. Sesshoumaru stared off into space.
"Papa?"
"Mn?" Sesshoumaru broke the surface of his thoughts. Blinking, he nodded curtly. "Good, Touma. Again."
His son looked mildly concerned but went back to practising his set.
Another day, Sesshoumaru sat before a low table in one of the mansions rooms, claws loosely holding a pipe as he waited for the tea to boil on the irori. The grey wisps curling in the air carried a familiar scent, the same type Mother used to smoke. How disgustingly sentimental he'd become.
"Ah! Mi Lord!"
Glancing up, Sesshoumaru vaguely realised with detached interest that the teapot was rattling, boiling over while Jaken squawked and panicked.
And now sometime later he stood before the fuchsia plants outside in his strongholds garden. The afternoon air felt cool and crisp on his pale skin. Watching a honeybee with a detached expression, he barely detected a comforting presence drawing close.
"Sesshoumaru?"
Starting, he resurfaced from whatever depths he'd been floating in. Tilting his chin up, the demon regained his airs of dignity, trying to appear unruffled. Kagome drew into his side, pressing her face against his arm. His chest warmed as she kissed his shoulder.
"How are you holding up?"
"This one is not particularly unsettled nor distressed."
His mate smiled sadly, running a hand over his chest. "Uh-huh. What were you doing?"
"Observing," he muttered, watching the honeybee. For some reason, a distant memory from childhood would not leave him be. "Mother used to walk with me around the gardens as a pup. This one recalls her ceasing my finger and showing me how to stroke this insect without being stung."
"She taught you how to pet honeybees?" Kagome's eyes shined with mirth.
"Hn. Here, take my hand."
Humouring him, the miko placed a hand within his larger one, inwardly melting when lithe fingers curled loosely between her digits, forcing her index finger to raise. Sesshoumaru then lifted her hand out to the flower the bee was nestling around in.
Kagome held her breath, heart thundering. She trusted him not to let it sting her but still-
A quiet noise escaped her, finger dragging over the black and yellow stripes. The bee's back felt surreal, strangely soft.
Kagome jolted as something wet landed on her nail- causing the bee to startle and fly away. With her hand ensnared, she glanced up at the demon beside her.
Dark brows drew together, and Kagome moved closer, resting against his chest. "It's okay."
"I am perfectly fine."
"I believe you," she murmured, cupping his damp cheek. "But you know, Sesshoumaru...it's okay not to be fine. Even demon lords should take days to remember cherished memories."
A thin-sounding snort escaped him, stinging golden eyes blinking rapidly as they raised to the horizon, refusing to heed the liquid blurring his vision. "Even frivolous, foolish ones? Such as bee petting?"
Kagome smiled lovingly, reaching up on tip-toe to kiss his chin.
"Especially those ones."
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End