Waterfalls by susie

Inevitable

Propped informally against the base of a great magnolia, Sesshoumaru’s lazy gaze strayed back to his previous charge. 

He had no trouble keeping tabs on the young girl from his post, as she stomped around with Jaken in shallow waters of the river below. 

His vassal grumped obstinately when informed of their impending visit to Kaede’s to pay his ward a long overdue visit.  But both of them were aware how relieved Jaken was to finally be allowed to assess the young girl it had once been his duty to protect. 

Though not constantly in his sights, she was far from out of his range as his youki bled incessantly over the area.  Dominating in a way which both encompassed, and repelled. 

He could sense the miko’s approach.  It was not at all unexpected.  And though he preferred that she would simply pass him by, he would make no move to retreat.  To avoid this undesirable confrontation which he was certain to be inevitable. 

“Hey,” she offered simply, as she crouched by his side. 

“Miko.” 

She couldn’t make out the splashing couple from the daiyoukai’s modest vantage point.  But the sounds of amiable bickering more than alerted her to their presence, and contentment. 

“Haven’t seen you in a while.  Rin’s been dying for a visit.” 

He was aware of her gaze upon him, awaiting visual acknowledgement.  But he was not feeling as generous with her as he had been in the past.  Perhaps that particular generosity was to blame for his double down on aloofness.  His ward and his minion suddenly became increasingly interesting. 

“Matters at the Nothern boarders have required my attention.” 

He had no need to explain himself.  But he knew the miko wasn’t going anywhere.  She had been annoyingly unrattled by his intimidating presence before things had gotten complicated.  The silent treatment would have no effect on the persistent young woman. 

“Yeah?” she asked, plucking a ripe dandelion to flutter with its petals.  “What’s the problem?” 

“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” 

“You sure?”  She twisted the flower absentmindedly in her grasp; turning her attention from it to the Killing Perfection once more.   

“Cuz if you ever need help, we’d be happy to lend you a hand.” 

His eyes cut to her dubiously.  And she wasn’t certain which folly was more glaring; offering her friends’ aid to him in addition to her own, or suggesting that they this time may be willing to gift him said appendages.  She would soon get her answer. 

“I have no shortage of hands at the moment.” 

She was sure he knew what she meant.  But he had only grown his arm back very recently.  And though his wound had more than healed, the emotional effects of the act were still unquestionably raw. 

But that wasn’t why she was here.  She veered into friendlier territory. 

“So.  Other than that, are you good?  How have you been?” 

Her breath nearly caught as he finally turned his attention on her.  When at last allowed to take in his almost impossibly handsome features, she couldn’t help but feel that it had been much longer since she had seen them than she actually had. 

“Did you need something, miko?” 

He was trying to sound annoyed.  But she was well acquainted with his annoyed cadence.  This demon was an actor.  And the more she got to know him, she realized he was quite a poor one. 

“No.  It’s just been a long time since we talked.  When I noticed you were here, I wanted to check in.” 

He assessed her a moment, and she found it difficult not to buckle under the weight of his glare. 

“Nothing to report.  You may go.” 

He turned his head back to his entourage as a form of dismissal.  Were he anyone else, she would have been offended.  She still was, but not for that reason. 

“Oh, it’s like that, huh?”  She had been trying her best.  She knew that being in Sesshoumaru’s company meant withstanding certain rude mannerisms.  But he wasn’t even trying!  The least he could do was show her the smallest consideration.  She grew annoyed herself.   

“I’m fine, by the way.  Thanks for asking.” 

“I did not ask,” he offered with a shrug, still not regarding her.  He was pleased to finally be able to shake her.  It would be preferable if she got the hint before he had to result to crueler methods. 

“Yeah, I know.  I was being sarcastic.” 

The news garnered no reaction from him, and she deflated inaudibly. 

Fine.  If that was how he was going to be, she supposed there wasn’t much she could do about it. 

But it was a shame.  She so hoped that now things could be different.  She just wanted to be able to engage him like equals.  Didn’t he know that he didn’t need to put up walls around her?  To his relief, she finally rose to leave him. 

“Sorry to bother you.  I guess I’ll leave you alone.” 

The sadness in her tone caused him to wince internally. 

‘Do not engage.  It will only cause her further anguish.’ 

He cursed himself when his eyes traitorously cut to her retreating form; catching the sorrow in her features before she turned from him fully. 

‘Fight it.  Do not waver.  You are an iceberg.  You are an island.’ 

“You have been well, then?” 

‘Pathetic, weak fool.  Damn you.  You shall dig your own grave.’ 

The smile she offered when she turned back to him both lifted his spirits, and cut him to the core. 

“Yeah.  Pretty well.” 

“Hn.” 

She took his inquiry as an invitation to return to him.  Of course she did.  Why wouldn’t she.   

‘That is why you are an idiot.’ 

Though his gaze removed from her once again, she elected to sit beside him this time.  She tried to make out the figures off in the distant river, but her true focus never strayed from him. 

She seemed to be fidgeting nervously, and he held hopes that she would desist. 

But the more intelligent part of him knew that she wouldn’t.  She may be a naive, bashful girl.  But she was no coward.  She would say what she had come to say. 

“Do you ever think about that time by the waterfall?” 

There it was.  He was almost relieved.  The sooner she addressed it, the sooner her foolish notions could be squelched. 

“Not really.” 

There.  That should do it. 

“Oh.  Well, I do.”  

He expected more sadness in her tone.  But it almost seemed as if she expected it.  To his chagrin, she pressed on.  And he steeled his reserve to become more forceful with her.  Though, for the moment, all he could do was listen.   

“I guess it’s not a huge surprise.  Most girls probably remember their first time.” 

See.  This is exactly why he had initially refused her.  That she was a human was bad enough.  But that wasn’t why his instinct railed against it. 

She had been a virgin.  And even among demons, virgins were delicate creatures. 

Not just physically.  Though proper caution was indeed required in that regard.  But untouched girls often expected certain considerations. 

It was ideal if a young woman could find a lifelong mate to usher her into womanhood.  But the real world was far from ideal.  And Sesshoumaru was aware that in this day and age, a woman could be lucky to engage in her first sexual act willingly. 

And the miko had been more than willing.  She had been quite insistent, in fact.  And he had refused her, for he knew she deserved more than a meaningless rut near the base of a waterfall.  But he could offer no more than that.  And though he cared not for the sensibilities of fragile females, Sesshoumaru was not one to deflower virgins.  He would be no woman’s mate; particularly not his half-brother's wench. 

But she had been quite persuasive.  He still wasn’t certain how she had managed to convince him.  Something to do with ensuring him that she desired to become a woman, and had no intentions regarding him beyond that.  But regardless, if given the option to undo the situation, he was certain he would take it. 

“Thanks again for that.  I’m really happy I got to share that with you.  And I appreciate you making it such a wonderful experience for me.  I’m glad to have something like that to think back on fondly.” 

“Your gratitude is accepted.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“Well, that’s a relief.” 

He welcomed her sarcasm.  It was his intention to see her cross with him.  To understand that though their encounter meant something to her, it was but a blip on the radar of his long, long life. 

Though, something about her tone told him that she wasn’t fully buying it. 

“You know, I still haven’t... since then...” 

Her scent told him as much, but that didn’t stop his pupils from flicking to hers. 

“Is that so?” 

She fidgeted nervously.  The poor dandelion in her hands shedding every last petal at her worrying. 

“Yeah.  What about you?” 

He had too much control to allow his silver eyebrows’ recession into his bangs.  But by the way he paused at her question, he knew her intimate knowledge of his reactions made his incredulousness more than apparent.  She backpedaled. 

“Sorry.  I know.  Its none of my business.” 

She was right.  It certainly wasn’t.  The fact that he had rejected any advancement of another onto his haughty person was nothing she need be made aware of.  Not that, before her, he hadn’t rejected the forward advances of horny demonesses anyhow. 

He should stop this.  But his normally reticent behavior made it difficult to insert himself authoritatively. 

She took advantage of his silent nature to impart to him further information. 

“I just wanted to let you know that, you know, if you wanted to do it again, I’d be okay with that.” 

She finally withdrew her gaze just as he gifted her with his own.  The blush on her cheeks did not go unnoticed.  He was looking at her almost apologetically. 

“I am afraid you may only lose your virginity once.” 

“I know.  But you know what I mean.”  He did.  That was not her point, and they both knew it.  Though he hoped she would not continue.   

“I would be willing to let history repeat itself.  Eager, even...” 

“Miko-” 

“I know what you’re thinking, but it wouldn’t be like that,” she assured him.   

“It would be the same deal as before.  I’m not going to get clingy or expect anything else from you.  No relationship.  No strings attached.  Just a little hot sex.  What do you say?” 

He couldn’t deny that he was tempted by the prospect.  But he was not some inexperienced pup, eager for any rut that may fall into his lap.  These matters, just as any others, required due consideration.  This was a tactical decision.  Not that he wasn’t curious... 

“Is the hanyou aware that you are here, making such a proposition?” 

“No,” she admitted.  “But the damage is done.  He scented the change as soon as I got back.  He says I still smell like you.” 

“My youki stakes a powerful claim,” he informed her.  “Intentional or not.” 

“That’s cool,” she offered with a shrug as she looked off to the side.  “I’m not complaining.” 

“I do not imagine you would be.  It will serve as armor against any who would mean you harm.” 

It wasn’t his intention.  It was simply the results of taking a woman completely.  His biology would see to protecting any that he had bedded, for the purposes of informing any to approach her that his mate and children would have him to contend with. 

She, of course, was nothing like that to him.  However, it did not prevent her from reaping the benefits of laying with one such as he.  Though he was certain that it was not her intention, he couldn’t suppress the relief he felt at knowing she would receive some measure of protection, as a result of their deeds. 

“Care to make it stronger?” 

He restrained his upraised eyebrow.  He would not even turn his focus her way.  He had anticipated her desire to extend their intimacies further.  And he considered that taking in her permissive appearance might weaken his resolve even more so. 

“It would not be wise.” 

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear.  But she had not come all this way for nothing.  With how long it had taken him to show his face since his last visit, she figured she would do well to strike while the iron was hot. 

“I meant what I said.  I’m not trying to lock you down.  I just had a really good time.  I think you did too.”  She assessed him for any reaction to her statement, though she would receive none.  Still, she would not be deterred.   

“So if we happen to cross paths once in a while, what’s the harm in having a little fun?” 

Her offer was tempting.  More than tempting, if he were being perfectly honest.  But he had made up his mind on the matter. 

He had already done her a favor by allowing her passage into adulthood at his hand.  He would not extend himself beyond that. 

He turned to her then, with a softness in his eyes that he had not considered he would ever need to convey. 

“I would prefer not to hurt you,” he admitted.  She was struck by his sincerity.   

“I would not see you becoming too attached.” 

“I’m not-” 

“So you say,” he interrupted, and she allowed him to continue.   

“But I have seen it many times before.  My lifestyle does not permit tethering alliances.” 

It was the truth.  It had nothing to do with her.  He simply had far too much on his plate to allow a female into his life for any length of time.  He could bed them, and satisfy them, and let them satisfy him as well.  But he was far from allowing one into his life in a way which should command anything from him beyond that. 

Sure, one day, he would take a mate.  Create a family.  Produce heirs. 

But that was a long way off.  It was why, whenever he took a female, he ensured it was one who understood that after they had each obtained their pleasure, the ties between them would be severed. 

It was why, under normal circumstances, he would not take a virgin.  Particularly, not a human. 

“I’m not going to fall in love with you,” she assured him.   

“I just thought it would be fun.”  When he made no move to respond, she finally rose with a sigh.   

“Look, the offer stands.  If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” 

When she retreated from whence she came, he watched as she disappeared into the brush. 

When she was finally out of earshot, he responded with his farewell. 

“Take care, miko.” 

************ 

A/N:  K, this was gonna be a oneshot, but I might need a little more time on the rest.  Prob only one more chapter. 

I have had Sesshoumaru a little too sappy in my other stories, so I needed a reminder of how cold he can be, so I don’t forget how to write him that way. 

I actually got inspired to write this by re-reading Seven Feudal Fairy Tales.  SPOILERS>>>> 

So, they hook up, but don’t end up together.  I was wondering what it would be like if they hooked up, didn’t end up together, but still ran into each other from time to time... voila! 

LOL.  I almost forgot.

I don't own magnolias, waterfalls, or virgins.  Though I do rent them from time to time.

gawd, why'm I such a dick?