Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha
For the first time in many years, she saw him. It was the night of the full moon and the only night in which she could find and pick one particular plant. As she was coming back, she had walked over a clearing when she saw him. He sat leaning against a tree, his head held up towards the moon. Moonlight lit up his pale complexion, making it even whiter and giving a more silver glow to his hair. For a moment it seemed to her that she is the same Kagome Higurashi as all those years ago, that she is sixteen again and that Naraku is still terrorizing the land. She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach and didn’t wish to be reminded of the past. She considered whether to approach him or get away, however, they were never in a friendliest of relationships. The dilemma ended as he turned his head and noticed her.
“Priestess” he said.
For a moment it seemed as if something akin to surprise passed across his face. But it’s impossible, she thought. He never showed emotion.
She came and sat next to him as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world. It seemed like a dream to her. Because how else, except in a dream, could she be seeing Lord Sesshomaru, and even sitting next to him?
“There’d been rumors around that you were dead, but of course, I could immediately assume that this is not true.”
“' Hm” was his only response.
“ How many years have passed since we haven’t heard a word from you? No, since you did not even appear in Kaeda’s village? I haven’t seen you for at least fifty years.’’
“How is it that you still look the same? You are human and yet time has left no mark on you. “
“ Heh “, Kagome laughed bitterly, “It turned out that I was immune to the effects of time. Effects of time as age and death. I'm doomed to always look like this, as I see my friends getting old, sick and dying. I am closer to you, demons, than to humans.”
Sesshomaru said nothing. He just kept looking at the moon.
Well, at least he is still the same as always, thought Kagome with joy in her heart Then she went on to look at the moon as well. She must have fallen asleep in the meantime, because when she woke up, he was gone.
It was the first night of the full moon they spent together.
She went there again after a few weeks when the moon was full again, not expecting to find him, but once again he was there. He was lying on the grass, one leg bent, the other stretched out, his hands folded behind his head. His eyes were closed, a slight breeze blew the hair off his face. The moon looked enormous that night and Sesshomaru bathed in its light.
Kagome was left speechless. He looked as though he is not from this world. Well, technically he isn’t, he is a demon. She was getting ready to leave, If he’s asleep, what can I do? Kagome thought, when she heard his voice.
“ Priestess, you coming or are you going to stand there all night?”
Surprised, Kagome's approached and sat next to him. From that night on, they spent every night of the full moon together.
Sesshomaru was a being of such a nature that often happened to spend all night without exchanging even ten words. And what they did exchange were mostly “ I'm sorry that I had not come earlier , such and such villager had a problem” he would usually answer with “Hm “ And it would end there.
And then there’d be entirely different nights when she told him about the current war that ravaged Japan ,who shall come out of victorious and for what reasons. And then about social and political changes.
Some things would pique his curiosity, such as scientific discoveries. He also seemed impressed by her knowledge and understanding of the world and literature. It is true that in her time Kagome only finished high school. When the well was open again, she made a choice to come back, but didn’t go to the university, even though she enrolled. But she read enough literature on her own and possessed knowledge far above average for a high school student. Of course, at this point in time it meant that she probably possessed more knowledge than an average man on high position. Although he was from this time, Sesshomaru was very educated and able to participate in every kind of discussion and even knew some things better than her.
Other things would fill him with disbelief. He said it was impossible that there are no more demons in her world. They must be hiding from the people, he said. Perhaps the thought of his kind being extinct filled him with anger, or more so the fact that powerful demons like him hide from the miserable people like her.
Some nights, especially in September and October they’d spent sharing sake. If someone had told her before that she’d spend her nights staring at the full moon while drinking sake with Sesshomaru, she’d have said the person is crazy.
But then again, she thought the same after noticing she isn’t getting any older. What Kaguya had wanted for suddenly made sense.
For the first time in decades she felt happy. There was no particular reason for happiness. Nothing special was happening in those nights; Moonlight, tasty sake, a starry sky and a view of him ; A silent laughter as she laughed at his disbelief that people have visited the moon; The first time he said her name. Priestess, you have something in your hair.
I have a name, you know? How would you feel if I just called you Sesshomaru-sama? No, wait, you would love it.
Kagome, he said with a slight smile. Kagome.
His most unnoticeable smile in the world and his smell – of pine and forest, of the earth after the rain.
His hand that reaches for her hair and removes strands of cobweb.
It would be so stupid to fall in love with him. And devastating. And beautiful.
Of course, there were nights when it snowed. She did not expect him to appear then. Does he not have his own duties and is he not supposed to visit his own lands? But each full moon, without exception, he would come to watch the moon with her. When it snowed, he would bring some fur, some to spread beneath her, some to cover her, and again they could watch the moon for a whole night. When she was covered in fur he brought for her for being, dare she say, concerned and attentive towards her human traits, her heart would beat so fast she was certain he heard it.
Finally, he asked one night what she knew he’d ask eventually.
“ How come you're not with the Halfling? “
While she was expecting the blow, it still had her a little shaken.
“Inuyasha and I, we aren’t so close anymore. “
He looked at her and nodded. It was obvious that he wanted to continue the talk.
She sighed and started talking about what was still hurting her.
“ When we beat Naraku, Shikon no Tama returned me to my time. For a while I was so heartbroken that I thought I will die. I missed Shippo, Kaede, Sango, Miroku. I missed Inuyasha. I missed Inuyasha so much that I often just stared at the tree he was sealed in and thought about the time we spent together. But, I had to move on. For mother, for Souta and for grandpa…I tried to be a good daughter, granddaughter and sister, although I suffered a lot. I owed it. I heeded mother’s wish and finished high school. Although I laughed with the family, went to picnics and spent time with them, many times I had the feeling as though I am in autopilot”
“ Autopilot? “
“ That's when ...“
“ Never mind, proceed with the story, “ he said with a touch of annoyance in his voice.
“ And then, suddenly, I went to the basement, for the first time in months and felt the clean, unpolluted air of Japan. The well was opened. . It happened so suddenly that I barely had a chance to say goodbye to my mother. I just went and jumped into what I thought was my destiny. The fulfillment of my greatest desire. Of course, I did not know that things will turn out the way they did. I just thought about seeing my dearest friends and Inuyasha, nothing else mattered. Everything seemed better than a dream. Miroku and Sango were married, Inuyasha was the protector of the village and ... “
“ And?”
“ And “, she repeated while observing him, “ Rin was there, you left her in the village to get used to people”
It seemed to her as though something akin to a shadow passed over his face, then went on with the story.
“It's not that I was not happy when I got back. All was well. It couldn’t be better. Even you came there occasionally, I saw you once and called you Big Brother, and you looked at me as if you wanted to kill me “. Kagome chuckled on that memory. Sesshomaru showed impatience at her laugh I just told her to continue the story.
“I was in this world for six months when a demon whom Kikyo sealed away a long time ago came and attacked the village. It was not hard to beat him. Even you were there, looking after Rin. But it was the moment when I finally accepted that Inuyasha sees only a shadow of Kiyo in me and that I'd never get out of her shadow. Whatever I do in his eyes I will be just that. I also knew that if rumors of Kikyo re-emerged, he’d go back to investigate. This urge was stronger than himself. She left her mark on him and it was not his fault. He simply does not know anything else. I gave up on him. I didn’t feel sad when I gave up on him , I realized that I knew it would be so for a long time. And yet it was not so bad. As friends. we work great, just not as potential partners. Years passed, time started to leave a mark on everything except me. Kaede died and I took over her duties as a priestess and healer. Those were peaceful days. I was loved and respected. I brought what seems to me as countless babies into this world. Later I was helping their babies to come into the world. Miroku’s girls became mothers themselves and Sango started getting wrinkles and gray hair. Rin was…” there she deliberately paused for a moment to see if there is any reaction from his part, however it was completely absent, “ Rin became Kohaku’s wife with your blessing and already had two children. She was expecting the third when all started to change for the worse. I often think of the day of her third child’s birth as a turning point. Nothing worked well after that day. The baby was in a bad position, she was going out legs-first. The delivery was very difficult. Although I tried really hard, an infection was inevitable. I think that even if she was in the hospital, there was still no way to save her. But of course, these are just excuses. She was dying, but requested a messenger be sent to you, she wanted to see you before she died. I thought… “ she said, turning her head toward him and looked at him with teary eyes “ that as soon as you see it, you will kill me and the whole village. It would be all my fault. I am responsible for the death of her child, if only I was better, if only I was somehow able to prevent the loss of blood. “ She stopped talking and broke down in tears. Sesshomaru made a gesture as if he wanted to say something, but before he did, she interrupted him.
“ No! Let me finish. You walked right into her room, with your eyes glowing red , yoki was raging around you, I knew I'd have to give my best to at least save the people, but to give my life in this struggle. To make up for it. But the hours passed and you did not go out. When you finally came out, you just left without saying a word to anyone. So I got into Rin's room, she was dead. Her child died the next day. Since then, I felt empty inside. I'm not getting older, everyone around me died. I decided to leave. I'm gonna make up for what I did by going to where nobody knows me, in a remotest village possible I will spend eternity without friends. Maybe if I cut myself off happiness, I’ll atone for my sins. “
She broke the story and sobbed from the bottom of her soul. Sesshomaru just looked at her and waited for her to drop all that poison which she kept inside.
“ But, you know, “ she said, wiping her tears, “now I'm happy. I know it is the end now. When I finally saw you after so many years, in an instant I recalled that I always knew I'd see you again, you’d come to me to avenge her death. But it's funny, even though I knew you were going to kill me sooner or later, and although I wanted to finally bring my miserable life to an end; the more time has passed, I was expecting a full moon with greater joy. Because with you, in those nights we spend together, I could, for the first time in my life, be just Kagome. Not someone's daughter or sister, not Shikon no Tama priestess, not friend who constantly needs saving. None of that. I could only be Kagome. Therefore, I thank you for pulling a game on me. These nights are the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I'm ready now “. Kagome closed her eyes, laughed slightly and surrendered to him.
And then Sesshomaru did something she never had expected him to do. He hugged her and kissed her forehead.
“Wh…’’ she tried to say, but her voice was muffled because he was pulling her to his chest. He did not let her move. She was starting to calm down, eased by his rhythmical breathing. He played with her hair with lazily movements.
“This is not happening”, she though, “he has already killed me and these are the last moments of my consciousness”. But, if that were true, how was she hearing his heartbeat so clearly? She would not feel his fingers in her hair and on her head. From time to time, his fingers would brush against her ear and she would get goosebumps all over her body. She looked at him. His face was so full of expression which was unusual for him. He looked at her both gently and worriedly. If she were the same sixteen year old Kagome, she would have thought that he was incapable of feeling something like that. How blind was she! They all were. Sesshomaru was a being of such nature that does not reveal himself to others. When she looks back, it was logical that all the times he was coming to take Inuyasha’s sword, he was actually testing his strength and training him. He saved Rin countless times while using the excuse that nobody is allowed to take something that belongs to him. And Rin adored the ground he walks on. She was always talking about her papa, she always called him like that, at least when he was not around. She was always beaming with joy every time he would come and visit her. Kagome also loved Rin. Who would not? She had such a big heart and such love for life. It was still painful thinking about her.
“Kagome-sama, Kagome-sama… I thought if I hear that name one more time I will go crazy’’, he suddenly murmured.
“Huh”, said Kagome, pulled back to reality by the sound of his voice.
As she was still leaned against his chest she had a feeling that she is hearing his voice trough her whole body.
“Rin’’, he said looking at her with his expressionless face.
“She was always talking about you. Kagome-sama did this, Kagome-sama did that, Kagome-sama thinks this, Kagome-sama is so funny… Every single time I would go and visit her she would talk about you. For me you were nothing more than a person who could be worthy opponent. After all, you did purify all of Naraku’s miasma with a single arrow. Sense of power that was emitting from you was the strongest source of power I have felt in any human being. No, even that, I knew on some level that you were not a normal human. But I did not pounder too much on that. I had a battle on my mind. When you disappeared and went in your time, I left Rin in that village so she could get used to people, but also to be close to you in case you came back to this time again.”
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?’’
“Something like that. ’’
“After three years you came back. I did visit Rin, but I also studied you as an opponent. What are your weak spots and what could I use against you should we battle one day. Of course, it was clear to me, that I shall be victorious, but it is always good to know your opponents weaknesses.”
“Of course”, said Kagome dryly.
“I was intrigued with you the moment I saw you pulling out my father’s sword. Even though you did something as impressive as that, I dismissed my initial curiosity and looked at you as nothing more than a hussy traveling with my unworthy brother.”
“Hussy, really Sesshomaru?” She tried to escape from his hug, but he only pulled her closer.
“Well your clothes were really unusual for this period. Even the lowest of the women do not wear such revealing clothes. But it was obvious that no man had touched you. The smell of purity was surrounding your body and even the smell of power even when the seal was still active”, he said with amusement in his voice.
“The longer I knew you”, he continued seriously, “the more evident it got that you had only one flaw. You were still blinded by my brother. And yet, despite that flaw you were acting like an alpha female. You were teaching kids how to write and read, helping everyone that needed help and protecting village from people who tried to harm the villagers. You were just like inuyokai when he is responsible for his pack. Your kindness, your power, your abilities, your beauty , the way Rin talked about you, all of this led me to decision to court you. But then Rin died.”
“I knew”, he continued silently, “after my mother brought her back to life that there will be no next time. Next time she will remain dead. I knew I should not visit her, she will die in best case in mere decades, but I understood my father’s question.”
“Your father’s question?”
“He asked me if I had anything to protect. At that time I thought it was stupid a question. I am being of power and the heir of Western lands, weak beings are those who need protection I have no use nor need of weak creatures. That was his final lesson he gave me in order to be a better ruler, but I fully understood it when Rin died for the final time. She was happy. She put her frail hand in my hand and she was thanking me for giving her the life she had. She asked me to protect her children. She said she is hoping I will find my happiness with you, apparently she noticed how I studied you while I was visiting her. She died with a smile on her face.”
Kagome was silently crying while listening to this story. Sesshomaru was pale, so pale.
“I could not do that. Even though I would honor you as my mate, and even though you would give me powerful children, I could not be with you. Rin’s death was too devastating to me. For the first time in my life I felt powerless. You could be my mate and I would love you but you would still die. I could not feel so powerless again. So I decided to travel again and look after Rin’s children from afar. Time passed. For us demons, time does not pass the same as it passes for you humans. And yet, for the first time it couldn’t pass fast enough. I was in the same state as I was before Rin. No I was in a worse state. I knew what I have lost. I lost the possibility of being with you. It was a mistake born from weakness I have felt after losing Rin, for not coming to see you. I decided to wait for your time, in which I could see you again. But then I heard rumors about the Shikon no Tama priestess. How she was still young just like in the time she was fighting against Naraku. How she possess great knowledge. I was convincedhow someone was using your honorable name. I decided not only to kill that person but also to burn that village down. It was enough to be close to the village and to feel your scent all around me. I could hear your voice, participating in village celebration, the smell of your hair was carried by the wind. You know, I watched you for days. I saw how much you changed. Your voice did not carry genuine happiness even though you were laughing, your aura was drenched with sorrow and the fake smile was always on your face. As I was watching you this much, I knew your habits. I knew when and where you were collecting plants. I wanted to meet up with you ‘accidently’ and to begin the process of courtship, and to see what your answer will be. And now, little priestess who now knows everything, what will your answer be?”
“My answer’’, she repeated with a shaking voice, not believing in what she had heard. She loved him, even when she though he was here to exact his revenge upon her. She loved him, and for all of this time, her love has been returned. She realized she was probably loving him since the first night.
“Yes, your answer Ka-go-me” With each next syllable Sesshomaru was coming closer, he was so close that it would take the slightest movement for them to kiss.
“I accept’’
With the smile of a pleased man, Sesshomaru kissed her. That night was the mixture of kisses and moans, moonlight and hoping that the sun shall not come, because if it does come, it shall bring this moment to end. She would wake up from her dream. But she did not. Sesshomaru was still there even when the sun was high on the sky. He even hunt some food for them (they were both quite hungry for understandable reasons) They ate together when she decided to tease him while feeding him. She refused to give him food, which resulted in his ‘punishment’ for not ‘respecting’ him. Later when the passion cooled down, at least for now, they were looking at the Moon, who was not full that night.
“What do we do now Sesshomaru?”
He kissed her in the forehead and said: “Now my beloved we shall spend all the nights together, not only those of the full moon.”
A/N Long time lurker first time poster XD Even though this is not canon pairing for many reasons this is my favorite ship from Inuyasha. This is my first Sesshomaru/Kagome ff and even though it did not turn the way I though it will, I hope you shall enjoy it. Any kind of constructive criticism is welcomed