well hello! I love the idea of the story a lot! The only thing I might watch out for is making their relationship progress in a non realistic way. It is very smooth, with no veritable conflict. If you write a second part, and PLEASE DO, this is something you should consider.
also, is it rated MA for future stuff?
anyways I mean all of this with absolute respect, and you're well withi your rights to completely ignore this, but I liked the concept a lot and hope you continue it :)
DC
|