| Wow, that was certainly an adventure for your first story! Well done! I personally felt that the switches between POVs were effective but they happened too often- it really interrupted the flow of the story for me. And a lot happened, perhaps if you'd split it into two or three separate chapters you could have explored the character's and plot development a little more.
 I hope you don't mind me saying this- these are just things you may want to consider in the future.
 However, this is great! A very enjoyable read with an entertaining plot: I wish I had written this well (or as much) when I started writing fanfiction. If I were you, I would definitely write more- you can take this to so many interesting places! (And I'm cheering at the prospect of a lemon... the kissing scene in this was certainly nice and steamy!) So keep going! I for one will be waiting to see what you come up with next :) UnknownRandomness    
 | It really good!!! Please updated next chapter quickly (I hope there will be lemon in next chapter *shy*) Take that Inuyasha is what you deserve for threat Kagome badly    
 | Love the story, for this being your first fanfiction it's an awesome story, update the next chapters quick. Keep it coming.    
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