This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.
This story has a good concept (:
But....it was hard getting into.
You need to go back and revise, like capitalizing character names and the beginning of the paragraphs .
Believe it or not this will turn people away from your story, which is going good so far(:
hoped I helped
Nyuka (Chapter 2) - Tue 02 Jul 2013
Oh ho, so who exactly was she escaping? My intuition suggest this may not derive from the original story line.. no? Could she perhap escaped slave traders, but I suppose that could work with the original story if she had been capture by them.... but she seem so determined to change her fate... what ever she has been running from exactly how will runing in to Sesshoumaru change her fate... or perhaps it will start it... bring for a proficy, or maybe it will start a war.. . Oh the possiblities... I am curious to see what you will have your favorite chacter act out next.
Nyuka
Laura (Chapter 2) - Tue 02 Jul 2013
I am loving this story. Please keep it!
Andrea (Chapter 1) - Tue 02 Jul 2013
I honestly couldn't read all of the first chapter, you should revise it and capitalize letters when necessary. Other than that I liked the concept.
Nyuka (Chapter 1) - Tue 02 Jul 2013
Lol then what happend, is there fighting, healing, does she collapse, does a scare demon enter behind her have traked her injured self neglecting to note the even bigger preditor (Sesshoumaru). Keep up the good work the story has just begun and its has many revinues it may travel down.
Nyuka
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