Thanks, starfyre I'll correct them immediately! That is a great idea, at least it'll make my poor first chapter a little longer in appearance :) thanks for the review! :)
So far it sounds like the beginning of a really great story. There are a few minor errors that you might want to correct, like capitalization of I. I would recommend that you break up that last paragraph into several, or at least into two seperate ones.
The plot is good, and I look forward to where you will take this in the future.
Hope it helps for what it's worth!
:)
~Starfyre
It's a great beginning. I hope to be able to read more soon.
This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.
rose (Chapter 1) - Tue 05 Mar 2013
i like this so far i cant wait for the next chapter
xDori (Chapter 1) - Tue 05 Mar 2013
ohh interesting..
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