I like your story it pulled me right in. You also set it up for a lot of different things to happen. A couple of tips, slow down and go into just a little more detail, it make the story come alive, and second have one check your spelling or read it your self for a second time there were alot of spelling mistakes. But other wise very good and i cant wait for the next chapter.
nice simple beginning, enought to entice. however, before submitting spell check..hope to see more soon
