| Good story but it does have quite a few word choice goofs & things. A bit of a correction, advisory is a form of advice as in an advisory committee, the word you wanted to use was adversary which means your opponent. Alley & saddled are off too, you wanted ally & sidled. Could probably use going over by a beta, lots of little things like I mentioned are off.
       
Dude. Ava-Bucket. This is awesome. 
I love it! i was LOL-ing the whole time. 
Great work! keep it up love! I cant wit to see more from you. 
      
LOL  I'm betting Inuyasha NEVER tells Kagome about this!  Oh to be a fly on the wall when Sesshomaru finds out just what his prize is!! 
Good job! 
      
HAHAHA. That was hilarious. xD Inuyasha's reaction, Sesshoumaru's curiosity, the way Jaken was just a means to get into Kagome's bag, and just the way you wrote the descriptions overall. I'm SO looking forward to the next chapter. rofl. 
      
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