hahaha... nothing like issuing an impossible order... get dressed but no clothes... I love it *grin*
Overall, your story has been very interesting and I enjoy reading it. But, forgive me for being a grammar and spelling Nazi, I noticed quite a few discrepancies in tenses and spelling. When writing, it is easier to understand a story when written in past tense and you switch tenses quite often. As for the spelling mistakes, they seem to have been checked by spell check and because of that, they were overlooked. For example,
I am not pleased , but will allow her to make her on decisions. I will only tell you this once. My cousin is not to be force to suffer you attentions.
1. 'pleased ,' should have no space between itself and the comma.
2. ‘on’ should be ‘own’. It is a simple mistake caused by typing too fast.
3. ‘force’ should be ‘forced’. While the sentence itself is in a future tense, verb tense likes to be a royal pain sometimes. Now, a fast reader would have skipped this and moved on because the brain automatically fixes the tense when read, but things like this stick out like a sore thumb to me.
Other than some minor errors in spelling and grammar, I love the story. Keep writing, so I can keep reading!
>.<
Lexi
lexikatt@yahoo.com
I like your story. Mokomoko is very funny. I also like the drama with in the demon court.
Great job! Loved the chapter. Keep up the good work!
silver hara fox (Chapter 14) - Fri 01 Jul 2011
TKE (Chapter 14) - Fri 01 Jul 2011
oh goody...i wanna see a catfight...lol!!!!
part of me hopes that they gut raiden >:l that hooker! FEH!
Lillian (Chapter 14) - Thu 30 Jun 2011
I was hoping that Raiden would be redeemable, and that the reason he cheated on Kira was for some noble cause, but it is obvious he is just a big old jerk (I would use less kind words here...)!
Yes! Finally! Another chapter! Lol, I'm so impatient. I like this new demon, 'Yoshi', so far but I wonder is he really that nice and is Raiden really that dumb as only a male can be, a male with power. I wonder how this gathering will play out. I await the next chapter.
--Kaminoko (c)2011
ha! =x mokomoko can't have all the fun!
k (Chapter 12) - Thu 09 Jun 2011
poor moko moko
Page 2 of 5
| | | | | | | | | |