Chapter 7

'Her duties as a maid took most of her time. Having a routine is almost comforting to say at least for Kagome. It means no unexpected turn of events, no pleasant surprises, and no sudden appearances of unwanted people, or true bloods for that matter."

In the future, try to stick to a tense. Is this past tense or present tense? The second sentence would be, "Having a routine was almost comforting to say the least for Kagome.."

This was only one of the examples that I found throughout the story in which the tense of the sentence was inconsistent. Furthermore, I noticed a awkwardness with the flow from third POV and first POV. I don't know myself how I would change that to create a better flow, but I am sure someone like a beta could help you out with that. That was just some constructive feedback. I enjoy the story very much because there is a bit of a twist with the "true blood" part of the story which is interesting. Looking forward to future chapters.

That was quite the chapter...esp to leave us with. It did leave on a better note than the last chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next in this game of I spy. I wish you the best of luck with school and life though. Til next time :)

AWSOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

keeep going!

Didn't see that coming!! I wonder how things will turn out from here and esp what kagome will do. I can't wait to see how Kagome will handle everything and what new twists and turns this will lead to :)

Amazing.  I love how you are taking time with the story to introduce us to her allies and enemies.  More lines have been drawn and crossed in this chapter.  Nothing in particular jumped out at me so that's good!  It looks like you've put your week to good use!  Keep up the fantastic work! ;)

To give in or not to give in? There are many things that this applies to in Kagome's life. I can't wait to see which she chooses for anything and everything :)

A good chapter.  I kind of felt that you were rushing a bit more in this chapter?  this chapter is longer than your usual one but it seemed like you could have slowed down a bit wit the interactions. i wish you went into a little more detail with bath scene. the ending of the chapter almost killed XD i must say that i was surprised that kagome had so much restraint...overall..good chapter! =D

okkk...mistakes XD

"She wore a cloak, which conceals the wild mass of raven locks that framed her heart shaped face."

--> she wore a cloak which CONCEALED ..

"Kagome does not establish any kind of relationship with the men she feeds on. Desire was more than enough to provide the needed heat and excitement of a one night engagement. She frowned. You simply do not establish a relationship like that with your food though she does not really kill or harm her ‘chosen ones’."

This whole part should be in past tense because kagome is talking about her past experiences with men as her food.

“Lord Tetsu I si- ” Kai was not able to finish he sentence for the vendor interrupted her with that shrill voice of hers.

-->Do you mean Lord Uri? Lord Tetsu is Lord Sesshoumaru's immediate underling right? One that does not like her very much.

i'm not going to list them all but there are small mistakes here and there....like switching tenses in the middle of one sentence..it didnt bug me too much but when you have time go look over your chapter ;) KEEP GOING!

good chapter! still action packed even though you are slowly introducing us to how the palace functions.  one small mistake that i caught.

"The two females nodded and said their goodbyes."

i'm not gonna go back and read through the rest of your fic to grammar nazi you =) nothing else in particular jumped out at me so i'm good enough for now. i have a quick question. sesshoumaru had tasted her blood and KNOWS that she is a half breed correct? also...tetsu and uri are just brand new characters that you have created and not based loosely on another character in Inuyasha right?  

That's it for now!  Keep going ;)

Great chapter!! Cant wait for the next one! its tru we all love long chapters!!!

:)

Soooo excited!!! cant wait for next chapter

love the story so far!!

ALRIGHT! PLEASE START UPDATING NOW XD one last suggestion and then i will leave you alone until the next chapter. please use lines such as ....

----

or something fancy if you prefer to split up the paragraphs if you switch POVS. it's makes it less confusing and easier for the reader to read if you do so. keep up the great work!

never apologize for a long chapter! readers absolutely LOVE long chapters.  i actually got harassed a few times for not making the chapters long enough XD short peek at sesshoumaru's palace and it already looks intriguing. keep going!

OH DAMN. that's a nasty chapter end. good thing there are a few more right after that =) haha. reviews ARE very addicting. i got used to checking my inbox several times an hour to see if there are any for me to reply.  also, like i mentioned before.  i strongly suggest that you post up your story on ffn.  i believe that you will get more reviews/attention for your story.  i'm actually maintaining accounts on both ffn and dokuga so that my story gets maximum exposure. great job with your story and keep going!

great first meeting. i love how she set up their encounter by creating the facade of a helpless woman.  tetsu seems like a leech though. for a moment, i thought that was going to be Miroku.  your chapter had just enough sexual tension to make things interesting and not overblown. also, you might want to use a line break or something like that to signify that you are switching POVS. otherwise...GREAT chapter =)

out of curiosity, do you post up this story on fanfiction.net? i am VERY surprised at the small numbers of reviews for your story.  i have experienced the same thing with my own. i've noticed several mistakes here and there in your story. for example..

“Yes they try to avoid as much commotion and attention from these lands duo to the Northern Lands’ infamous reputation but I wish you luck anyway"

i believe instead of "duo", you mean to use the word "due"?

otherwise..AMAZING.

WOW. i haven't read a fanfic for months but your summary got my eye instantly. this is great =D i love the hate/love relationship between kagome and kikyou

HI...don't worry over the course of time people will be attracted to your story. Because it is magnificent and very interesting with a plot I have never seen before. I hope you continue updating this story because it is fabulous. Sorry if I typed anything wrong my first language is Spanish. Keep updating and I'm confident you will be a famous writer in no time. Take care.