Ok, your dialouge is a little confusing, and i'm not sure whats going on and who is involved. Also there is a rule on this site about word count per chapter. You need to add more content to your chapters and going into a little more detail as to what is going on mught be a good idea.
katie (Chapter 4) - Tue 14 Apr 2009
| wow that was fast i just got done with 3 and find out 4 is up u are fast and i like it please keep going
katie (Chapter 3) - Tue 14 Apr 2009
| wow i like it please keep going
kitty (Chapter 3) - Tue 14 Apr 2009
| you need to work more on your chapters... there is no detail and at the end of it I am going HUH... its to short... I like the story idea but not the execution
katie (Chapter 1) - Mon 13 Apr 2009
| wow that is cool please keep going
| You're on the right track but it's missing something. You need details...usually what makes a good story is details (more too much is overwhelming) you also need a well thought out plot and believable characters...if you need inspiration check out my stories. Though if you find grammatical errors I'm sorry. I'm usually too eager to pst my stories that I almost never spell check them O.o you're not alone in the typo department XD
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